ch. 112 tvb queen

things that are happening.. they are just too crazy.

in His time. i know. i m learning to cope with all these.

drama is my name and i m so damn tired from work and shit in life.

i m so tired that when i blink, i need to close my eyes for 1 sec. my eyes r fucking dry.

i m asking you Lord, this is abit too much. wht's gonna happened after all these? pls show me the light. pls tell me that what i m experiencing is just part of your plan for my better future. i m really suffocating.

ch.111 ...

looks similar.. i think. y.. ? argh..

argh..

went to cheung chau had sea food tonite, n then went back out. enjoyed the sea breeze (that smelt like green apple) and talked wiht mir. have known her since 94, my gosh. God is gd to both of us.

went to gwen stefani's concert last nite, not that good coz the flow wasn't well planned..i think and it's like.. ppl not into the mood. but i m glad i spent time with the louey's sisters. they r cool.

so tired..but dun wanna sleep.

stock market went down like crazy. i wish i have more money to play.

I thank God for what i have now though. it's good. n i'll still keep praying for u and others in need.

ch.110 big apple

the annual report that i was invovled actually won the gold award under property at ARC. nice! and what's more is that it's gonna be competing in the best of show and best of overall annual report. the designer asked me to go to the dinner gala at NYC. haha. sweet. see if the client wanna go, if so, i'll force mr. boss to pay for my ticket n arrange me for a nice and fun trip at the big apple.

yay.

ch.109 just do it

have been saying a lot of "i wanna.. " these days.. but never really do it.
i guess i've always been like this.. always say "i wanna" but never really get things done.

yah, i do learn more about myself now.

figured.. u r right..

ch.108 conflicts

i wish to let go,
i wish to forget,
i wish to be happy,
i wish to move on...

... yet i can't stop praying for you.

even though you are not a good man,
even though you have hurt me with words and action...

... yet i can't stop praying for you...

but

i do not pray to be back with you,
i only pray that you will be back with God.

ch.107 prayer

dear god, pls gives T repentence leading him to the knowledge of the truth, so that he could be free from the captive of the evil. pray for his family and his freinds, so that they will know you. Please open the eyes of their heart, for them to listen to your words. Please also guard their hearts with the holy spirit and guide them to live a life with you.

Thank you for your blessings on me and my family.

i wish to praise you with him, Lord.

ch. 106 addiction attack

i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all thigns from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.

feels like bart simpson. lol.

Be focus.

ch. 105 六樓後座 & 我要戒lut...

I am loving my 六樓後座. like the comfy cozy feeling and the freedom of mind.

no more waiting for someone to call..
no more worrying for others.. for disappearing.. for not returning my call...

said soemthing very stupid today.. haha.. during the lunch with my boss and samuel.. about me working at GZ... i said.. then i'll have to 戒lut samuel la.. lol.. quite embarrassing..

but ya.. i really have to 戒lut XXX.

thx jen for staying over.

ch.104 so damn tired

So tired.

Some inspiration from today:

"Work as if you don't need any money,
Love as if nobody has hurt you,
Dance as if nobody is watching,
Sing as if nobody is listening,
Live as if you are in the paradise."

ch.103 老了十歲

Just suddenly had a crave with chinese pop lyrics.

The song title is 老了十歲.. which is another "4 letters words" given to me by a freind of mine. ha.. another freind gave me "3 letters words", which is "law-lai-jin". haha..

詞：林夕　
作曲：伍仲衡　
編曲/監製：伍仲衡

情緒　死了　元氣　散了
力氣　未夠令愛移調
和你　夢醒了　第三者彷佛必要
而你　樂意　被纏繞

＃怎想到我像被人隨便拋低的玩具
　還不知應要怪誰　難道我豁得出去
　怎想到你被別人狂追便成為伴侶
　善變沒有罪　卻是壯舉＃

＊良心可一敲即碎
　女人開始使我恐懼
　遺失了你才明白我會消失了生趣
　連心肝都可失去
　然後犧牲我的眼�
　讓我　為你難堪下去＊

難以　慘叫　唯有　苦笑
時間　為紀念你停掉
和你　避不了　指尖鬆脫的一秒
就似　自我　被焚燒

REPEAT＃＊

像老了十歲　巴不得一飲即醉
至少不必恐怕進睡
為一個你難承受痛苦是我的不對
消失的穢韝葚�
然後花光我的眼�
便會　累到無知睡去

Ch. 102 song sharing @ office

Song sharing with my coworkers.. haha.. n he showed me this one... 編織過的夢想 自已也可以抵達 誰說一定要有他...

btw, i've moved to my new place.. it's quite nice.. loving it now. :) going to GZ tmmr... and friday... sweet.


7.沒那麼愛他
詞/曲:徐婕兒

你有權利情緒化 你不一定要堅強 但有些事情
不能偽裝 別為自己設了框
我懂失去的悲傷 也懂進退的掙扎 但想起過去
都是失望 又何必要放不下
是習慣還是愛 不放心 還是不甘心 只有你自己知道解答

其實你沒有那麼愛他 真的不需要那麼想他
編織過的夢想 自已也可以抵達 誰說一定要有他
其實你沒有那麼愛他 沒有深陷到不可自拔
認清了真心話 你就放得下

深呼吸 抬頭望 發現天空很寬廣
這世界那麼大 幸福總會在某個地方

其實你沒有那麼愛他 真的不需要那麼想他
擁有過的計劃 留給值得的對象 你知道 不會是他
其實你沒有那麼愛他 沒有深陷到不可自拔
認清了真心話 你就放得下

ch.100 tired

so tired...

physically... didn't sleep till 4am and then woke up at 8am to help amy to register her wedding online. ha... (it's acatully full at 8:02am when the registration started at 8:00am!) n then just kept packing and walking to and fro MK and PE... n then up and down the apartment... n then finally.. started packing... just wanna sleep now.. argh.. but still got 50% to pack.. :(

mentally...keep telling myself: dun cry la. it's none of my business anymore. dun want fyn to come back and smack me. dun hate him. can't wait to wear the deep V and hang out with the gang.

o.. love the "whitfield afternoon tea".. love the smell...it just gets me away from the reality.

Ch. 99 抬起我的頭來

這首歌不好播　全是我的錯
我怎可再信任我耳朵
你卻迅速關起唱機　決定要我聽清楚
你說想三方都好過　不要兩邊滿座
我說你點你的火 我難自己的過

* 我的手這麼震 難受到興奮
如在生死關頭無遺憾
你說對她關心太少 我自信卻多得很
我快將一手掌紋 刻進滿杯裂痕
為何還著緊 杯中有你的初吻 *

# 抬出你親愛的前來 圍觀我一去不回來
拿出我僅有尊嚴來 宣佈你我再不相愛
抬起我低過的頭來 由始至終這些年來
如果你的愛心健在 用來害你所愛 #

ch.98 not that bad

went to GZ today... presentation, met the new team, lunch with client and walked around... the place is acatully not that bad..

ch.97 alanis morrisette

i always like the song "ironic" by alanis. just love the lyric coz life is just very ironic all the time. i think the song was out when i was in gr. 9 or 10..

i have started jogging since.. i need to get myself physically tired.
today, i m very very tired... after the moving from yesterday and also a long day of running around doing errands... it's just tiring.. i think im actully experiencing the tireness someone told me before...

n i'll be heading to GZ tmmr... argh.. still need to prep for tmmr's presntation.. :(

-------------------------------------
"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

ch.96 charron's children are soo cute

went to have dinner with charron tonite and her children are so cute. the gal is 2 yrs old and the boy is less than 1. the little gal went crazy tonite, kept doing gymnastic. lol.. she's so funny. And she talked like an adult.. but in ways that i dun really undersatnd.. coz she mumbles. so cute. and the son.. fell asleep when he was drinking milk.. lol!

had a great dinner with charron. haven't seen her for ages and everyone's life is so interesting. i guess i'll see her more often when i got to GZ later on... gonna go to her place for "oak kay fan". hehe..

ch.95 life goes on

life goes on.

everything goes on.

work.. yay, i m manager now.

life goes on.

prayer goes on. will never stop for u.

ch.94 walking through

praying to the Lord for the protection of your heart, your mind and your soul.

praying to the Lord for your family.

praying to the Lord for you.

ch.93 hangs

it just hangs...

day is ok.

nite is n just too long.

The night is just so long...

* may be i shd buy in 0922 now. ha
whtever.
whtever.
whtever.

argh.

it just hangs...

ch.92 still

how come it's still so painful
how come everything is still so vivid
how come i still can't sleep
how come i still dun wanna eat
how come i still can't harden my heart
how come i still can't get things over with
how come crazy things r still happening

YOU won't give me things that i can't handle.. but i really can't do this for too long...

all i can do is to keep praying for him. still...

ch. 91... apparently.. i can write

i've been writing lots of letters lately.. for work and personal.

for work, i acatully got praised by "THE" ppl about my writing skill. i m abit overwhelmed by that as they are "THE" pro.

for personal, i got no response from what I wrote...

but i have to admit that i express better by words than verbal communication. i hope you understand.

btw, someone is calling me "drama queen" now. haha.. coz of all the things happened to me... the two area in life that i tresaure and cherrish the most... that are on the top of the priority list.

i guess.. life is a drama.

ch. 90 understand

yes i understand now.

still love you tho~ :)

ch. 89 pain

it hurts so much.

can't use any words to describe.

i can't breath, i can't sleep, i can't eat and i can't see.

cried as much as i could, till my eyes can't open and my ears can't hear.

i think my heart stopped.

the pain grows bigger and bigger and deeper and deeper everyday.

people say time heals the pain... but my pain is rooted into my heart and it's growing everyday.

i should be mad, i should be angry, but i couldn't. i couldn't.

i love you. i really do love you. we were going to grow old together, we had all the things together. we complement each other. we had good foundation. we experienced all these together. our past doesn't worth a 2nd chance? i m willing to doo all things with you. i've changed. don't leave me.

ch. 88 Compatibility

M i compabtible with T?

i think at the beginning of the relationship, we talked about that, acatully, he talked about that.. he said wht makes the relationship work is to have good foundation and we r compatible. hmm... compatible as in we complete each other... it's not the chessy, goose bump saying.. he meant that he takes care of the external thigns and i take care of the internal.. and that makes a good team and that's compatible in his definition. i somekind agree and so far, things r working well between us because i m better at doign the small things.. i m more attention to details n he is soooo not. is that compatible? i hmm.... i just think that within comptaible, there's also comprimising, undertstanding, tolerating, forgiving, and not too great expectation of the other half... too much expectation leads to too great of disappointment n pain... n yah, i learn not to expect too much from T and everything else is bonus. haha..eg. i will not expect him for any romance and him bringing me out to Sphagetti house is a bonus. wahaha..

ch.87 YIPEE~~

My freind whom i've known since gr. 3 just rang me and told me that SHE IS GETTING MARRIED next yr !!!

i m soooo happy for her. She's one of my best friends that lasted for almost 20 yrs! 20 YEARS! wow. Me and her and three other girls were "the GANG" since gr 3 - gr 6.. and then she immigrated to new zealand and then me to toronto and then other girls to vancouver. We havent' seen each other since gr. 7. and then in this few yrs, allof us went back to HK to work and "the GANG" is back again. It is amazing how we all can enjoy each other's company w/o any stranger-feeling after all these years. And now, this girl, whom is the closest to me among all, is getting married!!! The feeling is amazing.

I duno how we could keep in touch for so many years, when i told my other friends, they were all amazed. Most have lost contact with freinds from HK after they immirgrated. I m really thankful for this relationship~ :)

ch.86 i m old and lost and have no money... can i be a child again?

at this moment, i m still refusing to grow up. so many things i needa take care by myself.. argh... so much better when i could just leave everythign to my mom and dad. ... but apparently, i can't now.
God, pls grant me wisdom for all the decision making, which way I can most glorify you? Please give me some hints...

ch.85 miracle life

i love this stability.

seems like everything's fine now.

I m enjoying this. God is good to us. The more I think about it, the more i think God has performed miracles.

ch.84 O, Happy Day

Tommy 決志 today!

OMG.

OMG.

Praise the LORD!

He came back from San Fran last thurs and today's the first time he came back to church. We had our drama team workshop today and had a good time trying to act. (We'll have X'mas drama at church! a professional HK Theatre actress, who's one of our fellowship members, is holding workshop to teach us, so much fun and blessed~) Anyway, after the workshop, we had our prayer time. I duno why, when it's time for ppl to say out what they wanna pray for, I immediately shout out loud to the ppl, first. i told them that Tommy is starting his job next Tues! everyone's happy for him. and then, since T's cantonese is not that good and so i kept talking (wahhaah.. ) and out of nowhere, i said to the ppl, pls pray for T's learning about God, i talked to him and he said he belived in God but still not too sure. n then, suddenly, this brother, who's actaully devoted himself as a missionary and he's studying theology now, asked T the questions. without hesitation, T said yes, he believes that God resurrected from the dead, that he accepted God as his personal saviour forever. N the brother immediately asked T to pray with him, saying after him, n T said yes. I was speechless. It was totally out of my imagination. I was just asking them to pray for Tommy and out of nowhere, Tommy said yes to the Lord.

I am speechless, Lord. You are truly one amazing, full of blessings, Lord.

Pls lead me and T to live our lives fully for You, Lord.

ch.83 GZ

finally started the Guangzhou project.

Today's my first day to GZ. Went there to interview the big boss of WCL . went there at 8:30am, got there at 10:30am.. n then back home at 6:30pm. What a tiring day. having sorethroat as well... aiya.. from cherry, i think. cherry's my co-worker.. a gal who is actually very similar to me but abit more "think it out loud". Anyway, i m feeling not too gd rite now.. just got back from bday dinner of my aunt, had a gd time = gd food. i hope i dind't make them sick as well. lol. my thinking is very fragmentated rite now coz i think i needa sleep. O, n janet is finally married! saw the pix of her wedding day from grace, seems like it was a very fun filling nite. i m so happy for her. O, n my T is having interview in HK, i pray for and with him about this and hopefully he could get it.

bloggin is fun,i like talking to myself. haha.

ch.82 back to bloggin'

Suddenly felt like bloggin again.

I have changed... so much. I was reading my blogs and I was quite different right now.

I've changed job. Working as AE at a marketing solutions company.
still with T. but so much further away... yet connects with our hearts.
lost weight.. due to uncountable stomach flu.. hk is such a dirty place.
permed my hair ... luckily not like a c9.
having lots of ups n downs... closed myself to myself.

I need to open. please give me courage to open.

What I am doing right now, doesn't feel good.

ch.81 my 1st 26th bday celebration

Date: Mid autumn festival, sept 18, 2005, sunday
Place: my dad's place at lam tsuen
What: BBQ
Weather: partly rainy, not too hot


didn't expect my dad to throw me a bday party tonite. i thought it was just going to be a mid autumn fest family gathering. i was pretty surprised and touched. i really love them. everyone seemed so old tonite..grandma, dad, aunt julie, uncle tim...but not my bro. haha.. he's still stupid looking. anyway.. just that.. i m realizing.. i m getting ollder and ihave more responsiblities to bare and i need to get myself ready.

ch. 80 keep learning

growing up is tough.

so many situations have to face, so many decisions to make.
no more daddy, no more mommy, only you, yourslef alone.

i m glad that i m confuse, if no confusion, i duno wht God has given me. i can't be clear on what i want and see clearly who is really there for me. acatully, everyone's there for me .. so i m very blessed.

life is so much 'crazier' in hk. so MANY ups and downs. so many surprises. so many decisions. or may be it's not about hk, it's about growing up.

how's everyone handling? i m still learning.

ch.79 back to my blog

haven't blogged for ages. i guess it's mainly because of the crazy workload. just dun wanna turn on the computer at home after work.. i guess u guys understand.
well, so here's some update of moi:
1) still with T. haha
yah, can't believe, it's been 7 months already. and i think we r doing better. lots of htings have happened between me n him, actually to me and to him. we both acted as each other's supporter and things r doing pretty well.
2) change of attitude
i dont' want to work in this comany anymore. i finally reallized that i m not a workaholic. after 9 months of non-stop working. i think my limit is reached. the out come is not worth my input.. working for such long hours almost every single day, can't even do my basic, simpliest stuff as a person, ie. go to the bank. this is just unhuman. and yes, i'll quit. the goodness of the creative director cannot overcome the bitterness and crazyness of this work environment. acatully, i m thinking if i m gd for this industry. this is wht i m concern about these days. Those who came back from Tor, whom have met me, all said that i m a workaholic. but nah, i dun think so. i think i can be one, but i dun wanna be one. i need my life back.
3) living with my bro
yah, moved for 3 months already. same area in homantin, pretty close to my grandma. very convenience location acatully. glad to live w/ my bro. he's annoying at times but it's ok, we still worked things out.

ch.78 4 months!!!

so many things happened from the time of my last blog. yah. i duno why i always have so many fun experience~ i shd really appreciate God for those.

letz see.. the major thing that's happening = MOVING!! yup. my dad's moving back to tai po and i'll be moving out with my dear bro. yet, me n my bro still haven't found a place so i m gonan go stay at Tai PO for a month.. at least a month.. which it's gonna take me 1.5 hrs to get to work. so if i got off work at 12am.. first of all, no more mtr (!!!), then i think i'll take the mini bus to MK, then take whtever to Tai Po, n then take taxi back to the village, and then walk back home. so u gotta understand why i m gonna move out with my bro. i m thankful that my bro is willing to take me in.. ha.

I'll be goign to my first Short Term Mission from July 13-19 at Laos. yup. T is going as well, should be quite an experience for both of us. We r going with a medical team. We'll go visit the villages and hospitals. our main target are the chinese over there. There r only 3 churchs and the chinese people are acatully seraching for God. I've never been there and it's amazing how i got to go to this STM. first of all, can't beleive my boss will let me go. 2nd of all, T is going. 3 rd of all, i m going. It's really not planned..

and my work.. well, working as event organizer these days.. partly design... quite exciting. helping to organize 2 events in late july and early aug, might have to go to shang hai for the early aug one for a few days. quite gd. adrenaline working environment.. daily adrenaline..

o, n have finished a book (ha~!) read during mtr/ before sleep time.. pretty efficient acatully. haha. the book is caleld "In His Steps", it's a timeless classic in Christian literature. it's mainly about WWJD. it's a qutie interesting ficition.

and yes, tired as usual.
n still with mr.T.

ch.77 upset

it's tough, but WE can make it.

ch.76 cannon ixus 70

finally. bought it. :)

ch.75 Star Wars Episode III

watched the advance show tonite with T. it was not bad. i m not a hard core fan.. so not much comments la.. but T is a hard core fans, and he kept complaining how ANAKIN is such a bad actor. lol

Helped T to move his stuff tonite. he's finally settleling in SZ. well, i m not too sad or anything. I m acatully happy that he finally got some action going.
Can't beleive 3 months have passed. it's a very short time, yet seems so long. me and T r really getting along very well. And i can see what God is doing to him. just gotta keep praying for him.

ch.74 post-camp 2

most of the time.. after every retreat, i would felt so passionate about God because the atmosphere in the camp: everyone became so devoted n passoinate and all energized about being God's solider in the secular world. This time i felt the same afterwards, yet, abit different. During the retreat, i dun feel THE GREAT FIRE but everything went so smooth and peaceful. The retreat was actaully a peaceful break for me from my work. rite now, i feel more sure about God. the feeling is just so much more secured coz i know He is with me always. The feeling is not like the old times, like "YEAH< LETZ DO IT! GO GO GO!" that kinda way.. those youthful way.. but it's more like "Yes, i'll ive my life in God's way".. more peaceful. i guess the concluson is.. i m getting old. haha. anyway, just feel good.

--------------This is taken from my church's youth group devotion site---------
The 5 Questions with God.
A lot of times when our lives are being "interrupted", in another word, when we face trials, difficulties, and troubles, we always try to blame God or ask God and question His decision. Often we even ask God to get out of our lives and "reset" it into what it used to be. Busy trying to take matter into our own hands, we often tend to shut God up and no take into concerns what He wants to do through these interruptions. Here are 5 questions that we may ask when we face interruptions, troubles and tragedies:Lord in this interruption....
what do You want me to do?
who do You want me to meet?
why are You doing this?
what do You want to change in me?
how can i Gloryfy you?
Though it's not anything too deep or profound, I sure hope that these questions may help you all to get through future trials and difficulties. My prayer for you all is that God'd reveal to you His will and thoughts through these interruptions, and that "the end result would justify the possible pain it took to glorify Him" (taken from Relient K)

ch.73 Post-camp

T offered to pray with me during a prayer session.
T and I and my cousin n my cousin freind prayed together at another prayer session.
wow

ch.72 my gut feeling

have started to meet with clients.
did 2 presentations yesterday, one for casio n one for absolut vodka.
n we've got the absolut one! happy. duno about casio yet.

i think i enjoy this more than design. ha.
n guess what? i have this feeling that this is God's way of telling me i'll eventually work for my dad/famiyl business.. n this is how He prepares me for the later events.
duno, just have this gut feeling.

ch.71 back to the old FP days..

haven't blog for ages. haven been working for sooo many freaking hours the past 2 weeks.. n of coz, still went to meet up with T after work. haha.. which made me sooo tired.
i had major headaches the past 3 days and felt dizzy when i was walking on the street. scary.
anyway, so today, i decided to sleep in. can't do this anymore. w/ my tiring body, i can't do any gd job, so i just sleep sleep sleep. felt so gd!
o, n yah, i'm working as an event organizer + PR + Graphic designer rite now. it's like the old days at Footprint. man, this is funny. n i think i m realyl good at event organizing and the PR stuff. writing tons of proposals these days and i dun found it hard to do at all. and have won a job bidding for a whisky press con!! hehehe.
o, me n T are doing pretty well.. we'll go to church retreat together on the 15th.. i asked him to go n he acatually said yes. i m so happy.

ch.70 vietnam??

In my world, toronto and hong kong r THE places to live. my comfort zones. places that im familiar with.
Vietnam? hmm.. reminds me of the vietnam guy i met at seneca.. a very nice guy.. but hmm.. o.. n those noodles too.. quite gd acatuly.. but moving there n live? hmmm..

vietnam?

Ch.69 Maltesers are my life saver

have been working like a dog this week. so tired yesterday that i fell asleep on my seat, on my desk at around 5pm. It's not only the workload, but with the stress.. my shoulder muscles are all tensed and the day seems like it never pass. the time goes so slowly... but then, it's friday already.. i guess work + sleep + work + sleep... does make time goes quite fast in general'

i m still sick.. still not totally recovered from flu yet..

this is crazy. i thought this is somethign that i watned.. but then.. the sacrifice is abit too much.
ai..
i guess the gd thing is i did lose some weights... coz i haven't been eating well/ regularly at all.. somtimes dun even wanna eat at nite.. if it's 10pm already... n yes, i do feel dizzy sometimes..
this is no gd.
sigh.

need to pray about this.

o, yah, so about Maltesers.. well, since i dun go for dinner at nite, usually.. since dun wanna go and leave late n so just stayed in the office to work.. but i still get off late.. ai.. anyway, so i have bags of maltesers with me on my desk... i eat them to keep me working.. they r my energy source.

ch.68 i hate FLU!!

so, i m sick. havent' been feeling so sick for years. I think i caught the hk flue.. ai.. so bad. Took the afternoon off today as i was being "ordered" by my senior. She said i shd really go see the doc since i look pretty pale. yikes..

anyway, haven't been bloggin for awhile.. so here's some update of my days:
for the easter holiday, i did these:
1) Went to ShenZhen to visit T. Tried out on the new SZ MTR, very clean but super slow. I mean, i have to wait 25 mins for the next train. so stupid which ALMOST made me miss the last train to HK! ARGH. The outlook is similar to the HK MTR, but way cheaper. it only costed me RMB$1 last time. Not many ppl were there at the stations and it closed quite early too.. T took me to the KCR station at around 11 :30pm but he couldn't get back by MTR coz his route is closed already.
2) went to ShenZhen to visit T. (haha) Went to this "Seafood street" to have dinner. We had fish, shrimps, oysters, clams and fried rice. soo many.. n cost so little. it was awesome! haha..
3) Watched Noah's Ark, the documentary. One of the 2 adventurers of the movies acatully was there at my slot. He came to give a speech at the end. How lucky i was!
4) One of my co-workers took me to this shady restaurant at causeway bay to have "che-chai-noodles'. IT WAS SO GOOD! we got there at around 3 something and there were still ppl lining up outside the store. The noodle was gd coz the food totally absorbed the sauce.. super nice!!!!
5) watched a drama/show w/ my bro and his gf's family. The show is called "Man of la tiger" by Theatre Ensemble, featuring Jim-sui-man. It was a great show. Very funny and to the point. It's aobut this 40 yrs old man finding himself.. the Jim guy was the only actor and he played so many different characters. awesome act!

Things i did in Ching Ming holiday: Gathering at Roy's new home.
Went all the way to Yuen Long to have this Torontonian gathering. pretty nice. we had bbq (yeah, w/ my sorethroat.. ha) at roy's place and the weather was so perfect. everyone's doing ok, still the same. no big changes. And finally got a chance to take the West rail and light rail.
I was talking to Tai that it seems like we are still in the highsch stage.. except we have more beers now. lol. everyone's still seem so happy all the time. I guess it's a blessing from God.

ch.67 ironic

1) In order to improve on my job, i need to go out and see things, observer more.
BUT: the workload is too heavy, i've got no time to go out and whenever i have time, i just wanna sleep.

2) Met this guy, thought that he's a dork. Never thoought that things will happened.
BUT: things happened.

3) After things happened, life is so much happier.
BUT: i m so lack of sleep. i m blessed i m still alive.

4) After things happened, life is so much happier.
BUT: the other party decided not to stay in hk.

5) I m supposed to take care of my dad.
BUT: i only see him in the morning before i go to work and at nite before i go to sleep. The only things that i say to him are: "Good morning", "Goodbye", and "Good nite".

ch.66 i know who holds tomorrow

lots of uncertainties.
lots of questions... struggles and confusion.

BUT, i m happy and
things seem ok.... not to a stage that i have to make any serious decision yet...

I know who holds tomorrow n i won't be afraid.

ch.65 paris in your eyes

paris in your eyes. A song by chet lam. love it.

ch.64 i was at paris tonite

had a long day at work.. off at 10:30pm. was supposed to go out with my ex-coworkers tonite, but none could make it which is just too normal for ppl in hk. So being spontaneous, i went out w/ this guy from work. We went to an upstairs cafe at MK called Paris Cafe. Nice name eh? but man, soo smoky... foggy as well. lol. i could still smell the 2nd hand smoke from my hair rite now.. argh.. really dun like this smell. used to like it tho. haha. Anyway, had a great time. me and this guy have so many things in common. freaky, i would say. yet, it was good. we talked about work, life, music, style, peopel, food, travel.. n by the time we r done, it's 1:30am already. man, can't beleive still have to work tmmr..
it is such a blessing to get to meet so many peopel when im back to hk. I was talking to a friend one day that things that i 've expereience in the past year equals to my10 years life in Tor, or may be more.
I pray that i could experience even more.. that's what life should be~ O, how i wish i could be in paris tonite.. for real.

ch.63 gone

mir is gone.
.. drove her to the airport this morning.. really enjoyed her company in hk.. won't be seeing her for awhile.. sigh..

david chan is gone.
.. the mr. nice guy photographer that i used to work for.. loved talking to him.. died due to colon cancer.. great that he beleived in Christ the month before he passed away.

esther is gone.
.. the sister of uncle charles.. didn't know her too well but whenever i met her, we always had good times.. a cheerful person and fun to be with.. a good Christian. died due to cancer.

mr.T is gone.

everyone is gone.

the Lord is here with me... but i m still sad.

ch.62 praising God everyday

so how's life everyone? my life is normal as usual. Got off work a little bit late tonite actually, off at 11:30pm. didn't have dinner but had some bread i bought a week ago (for my breakfast!!) that i found in my bag. Having some "Gwa-ji" from CNY rite now while chatting online. Will get to sleep soon, since i dun think i get enough sleep at all. So yah, everything is normal for me.

My life might seems like .. i m in slavery.. lol.. but i prasie God for what i have. O, i told this guy from church about my job, n he was so shocked. His first rxn was, O Janice, i 'll pray for u. and after like 15 mins, he said, O, i m still in shock. i was like.. yah.. ok.. but anyway, i still praise the Lord everyday coz he's giving me so much blessings.

This is the job that i liked, God prepared this for me.
This is the life that i m willing to have, God prepared this for me.
This is the guy that i dun even think i could have, God prepared him for me. acatully, still not too sure but i do keep praying about this.

Wht's more to life? living under God's grace and knowing that He is with me.
awesome.

ch.61 too typical

this is just TOO well planned.
no way it's for me.

too much for me.
wht is it Lord? i AM ovewhelmed.

pls tell me.

ch.60 Happy Valentines Day

Happy Vday my dear friends. I LOVE YOU ALL.

for those of us who are single it may be a sad day where you have a pity party and wish that someone does something special for you .. no matter how small it is.. welll .. new idea! instead of sulking we can reminise on those who DO love us and how we can love the people around us. Also it is a good time to look around and be reminded that someone DOES love you much much more than anyone in this world...He gives you more than heart shaped -caramel filed chocolate and more than pretty looking flowers or cards. He gave you the world in which you may experience all this and a passionate love relationship with the most amazing person ever. just a reminder to those sulkers out there that think they arnt good enough for a partner.. you are.. you are designed and desired by God.. you are WORTH an amazing girl or an amazing guy. soo cheer up .. and be satisfied with knowing that you are loved by God. let HIM be our valentine =)

ch.59 life

the photographer that i used to work for, died. due to colon cancer.
a freind of mine in toronto just diagnosed that she got ovary cancer and within weeks, it's spread to her bladder and lungs, n she's at the end stage now.
a 17 yr old gal at my hk church is waiting for her cancer diagnosis this week, which her doc said she got 60 % chance of having cancer.

this is life. it's not a forever thing. it can be gone just like that. without notice. without any preparation. we have no control of it. it's God who controls everything.

so friends, dun waste our time anymore. be prepared. preapred for the Lord. no predictions we can make, do wht we have to rite now. dun not do it becoz we r too busy or we r too tired or we r too shy or whtever. no excuse. tell ppl about the gospel. invite them to go to church. do your part, n God will do the rest. trust in Him.

our life is ahead of us in heaven. the earth is just a place for us to prepare ourseleves, the Pre-life.

ch.58 nin-chor-yat

things i did today:
1) Ba-nin @ my grandma's place. met all the relatives.. whom i dun see at all during the yr.. and got tons of red pockets. wahaha. met this cousin of mine, and found that he's quite cool and he's into design and hopefully i can give him some advice.
2) movie "meet the fockers" w/ my lovely cousin chris. my treat but then i forgot to bring my wallet.. gd that i've got my red pockets and it's enuf for the movies and coffee. lol. had a gd ctalk w/ him. he's really grown up. so proud of him.
3) dinner w/ dad. ate all those fattening nin-go. yum.
4) movie "the incredibles" w/ a gal from church. drink at hard rock and then movie. great live music at hard rock. great movie. great pop-corn. great time.

things that i m into these days:
1) Adi. suddenly fell in LOVE w/ adi.
2) Lomo. LOVE snap shots.
3) movies. LOVE watching movies at theatre.

ch.57 chinese new year 05

6 days of Chinese new year holiday~~~ SIX DAYS!! SOO HAPPY! gonna have my old life back. acatully, gonna have my life back! lol. Not gonna sleep thru the whole holiday, but gonna go around the city and check things out. Have been inside the office for too long and need some fresh air. yet, i can foresee there'll be lots of work after the holiday.. argh, o well.

went to Mong Kok tonite for "fa si". LOTS OF PPL, omg! it was my first time to really experience the Chinese new year in a chinese-dominated-place... well, since i m old enough to go out myself. The CNY in Tor was very different than HK. in here, u REALLY feel it. Ppl r so into it. i acatully have relatives to go visit and yes, more pocket money. hehe. The whole city is so in the mood, everyone on the street is so "CNY". It's great to experience that finally.. n now, i really feel like i m from a non-chinese-dominated country.

so yah, gonna use my holiday by going to places and reading and taking pictures. I bought a lomo camera finally!! Have been thinking about it for ages coz it's quite expensive and uses films and needs to develop the pictures..which means lots of ppl have to be spent. but then, i really wanted it. so, there, finally got it and i m happy. Have been using it for the past two days, haven't bring the film to develop yet, duno what r they gonan be like. It's an experiemental thingy.. so.. yah, conclusion is: i like to burn money.

i've started to talk to ppl around me these days, ie. taxi drivers, sales person, all those ppl u'll meet in your daily life. It's fun. i think that's life. u can't experience it without the people around you. You alone is not enough, life is all around, just like love. hehe.

ch.56 eating "disorder"

haven't had a regular meal for awhile... my stomach was in pain last nite and the pain woke me up. And i had cold sweat for.. i duno how many hours.. then i fell asleep.. and woke up and went to work.
i told one of the coworkers about this and she said, yah, i was like that at the beginning too, but u'll get used to this kinda life style soon. i was like.. o.. k...
to be frank, i really dun mind my life style rite now, but yah, i think i m killing my health tho.
i was described as "CHAN" for so many times for the past 2 weeks but i couldn't help it.
have been eating lots of Maltesa lately and i love it. haha.
i m writing fragmented thougths.. i think i shd sleep. lol

ch.55 beyond's concert

BEYOND's CONCERT WAS GREAT!!!!
5 thumbs UP!!
GREAT ATMOSPOHERE!!
I WAS SO INTO IT!

u know, everything is about having a vision WITH persistent. without persistent, u can't do anything. Eg. beyond, they love music and they persisted on making music with whtever conditions and made them what they r today. Eg. Mr. Tsang Do Choi, his persistent in his 'calligraffitti" have made him noticed and there r acatully peopel who appreciate his work.

my workload is loading up and up, faster than i thought/could handle. I was so pissed off at myself today coz i m working in such a slow pace. argh, hated it. totally Fat-Pay-4 today at work. Couldn't get things done and was gonna miss the concert. Gd that the ppl were nice and said i could leave and get it done tmmr. argh. had a thought of quitting at that moment, but again, i reminded myself that i need to be persisitent, otherwise, nothing will be learned/earned.

u know, i havne't seen my dad for more than an hour for last 7 days. how crazy is that.
and no sleep tonite coz need to finish up the freelance project which i've been holding for soooo long. argh. and pianist at church tmmr.. gotta pracitce now.. but i guess a cup of coffeee is wht i needed the most now.

ch.54 bloggin at 3am

had late dinner with office ppl tonite. I had macaroni and toast and egg. felt like i was eating breakfast.. anyway, had a discussion with the ppl about Christianity tonite. Boss is always arguing at this pt: Why a God who claimed himself to be an omni potent and forgiving God, would punish adam and eve at the beginning. He thinks that it's a childish act to punish peopel just because they don't listen to Him. Boss said he would just let it go and forget about the punishment. He said he always have arugement with freinds with religious issues. From all the things he said, i can say that he only knows alittle and claimed that he knows everything and have his own conclusion. At the end of nite, i told him if he has so many questions, why doesn't he go read the Bible and realyl know wht's written in it. And then he goes, haha, then u'll ask me to go to church and blah blah blah blah. i was like, hey, if u realyl wanna know something, u gotta get into it, not just say things that u just know partly of. and then he got shut up and went back home. I m glad that God has placed me in such position tonite and i m glad with that conversation. I m glad that my boss is a total open minded person so it's ok for me to even told him that he shdn't say things so firmly when he doesn't have complete understanding of such topic. well, there's another Chrisitian in my company and she's a very nice gal. And tonite's conversation gave me a chance to talk to her about how we shd spread gospel to the other co-wokers. I think tonite is quite something coz i finally got a chance to talk about God. I hope there'll be more opportunities. and I pray that I could work with the other gal to spread the gospel to the people.

btw, it's 3am and i just got home.

BEYOND concert tmmr. yah!

o, do u think ppl who r too alike will repel each other? hmm..

ch.53 ego-mama-family

it's 2am. I m not tired at all. Seems like my body is used to my life style rite now.

i started to like my life style.

my work is fun. i love wht i do eventho it's crazy workload. I gotta meet some nice and talented people. Those ppl r like me. i think we r the EGO-FAMILY. seriously. ppl in this industry all have great ego. so yah, there must be lots of arguments but it's all cool afterwards. anyway, their life style is cool too. i mean, duno if they have a life or not since we r all occupied with millions of work, but yah, we love to "hair" at cafes and read and i think that's super nice.

o, i m getting tired now. it's almost 3am....

ch.52 Amazing arrangment

I am so blessed. Always meet people who have similar interests as me.
Met this person, we share the same background, same taste in music, attitudes towards life, food that we like n dislike r similar, books that we read, things that we do, coffee addiction.. etc.

impressive. The Lord is too good to me.

btw, pulled an all-niter last nite at the office with 2 other co-workers. so tired.

ch. 51 ZZzzzzz...

hmm. how to descirbe my tiredness.. here's one:
a freind saw me today. first thing she said was: go to bed.
lol.

eventho i m tired yet i m willing to go to work. i thank God for the gd boss.

zzzz.zzzz...zz... z... ..

ch.50 nicely done

so my grandma had her surgery. went to see her tontie after work. way passed the visiting hours but the nurses were so nice that they let me in for a short while. my grandma is able to talk but very tired. yet she couldn't fall asleep due to the great pain at her eye. i feel sorry for her for the suffer but excited for her for the better eye sight later on. I thank God for letting the surgery to go smoothly. Nicely Done!

o yah, today got my first job ok with the client! woohoo~ :)

gotta keep following the Lord, ppl! He's the Almighty, man~

Watched the late news and man, the weather in the states is very bad: flood, tornado, crazy! heard the the water level at the water capital is -800m of the normal level. how crazy is that~
Thank God for our safty.

ch. 49 life is a "WOW"

yah, so got a "WOW" today.

got a call from the eye hospital saying that there's a free slot tmmr and my grandma can have the spot. i was like "WOW", such short notice. so yah, my grandma has been suffering from serious blood clotting at the back of her eye ball, which made her having super poor eye sight. It's really a suffer coz other than blurry vision, she feels dizzy all the time. When she's lying on her bed, she can see red lines (which r the blood) floating infront of her, blocking her view. so i guess it's a relief for her to have the surgery now. however, the surgery is not a low risk kinda thing, the worst scenerio is that she might be blinded for the rest of her life. plus she's old, which increases her risk.

this news came so inexpected and all i can say is "WOW". coz we've been told that she might have to wait for 5 months for a free slot. it's crazy.

gotta keep prayin'.

ch.48 3rd day at Bliss

off at 2am.



boss treated dinner (jap food) and taxi ride home.
boss used one of my ideas for a champaign (!!).
i m soooo slow with computer.. i saw my boss worked, coz he's helping/teahcing/showing me how to do it and i was like "WOW", he is FAST.
I acatully feel bad leaving tonite at 2am coz i havent' finished my work and my boss is finishing it for me. He said i should go home. The rest of the people were still there working.

omg, the Lord has placed me in my ideal company and i really need to cherrish it. Hopefully they will still want me by the end of this week.

O, ppl thought that i was born in the 80s..
yup.

ch.47 first day at Bliss

First day of work. Overall is good.
it's a SMOKE FREE environmnet! :)
People are NICE, i get along with them well.
The boss is GREAT! good ideas and concepts.
Office is cool! nice interior.
Pantry got lots of food! haha...
It's at Quarry Bay!!!
People are willing to teach!!!

so, so far, it's good. n hopefulyl i can still say that after a week. lol

one funny thing is, or a great thing is that, when the clocke reached 9pm, i didn't know and didn't care. I didnt' wanna leave. How amazing is that!?

"Blessed is the name of the Lord, blessed is Your glorious name." i thank God for what he's provided and i'll cherrish it.

ch.46 new job

after a month of vacation, i m back to the work force. I GOT A NEW JOB!! :D Thank you LORD!

Start tmmr 9:30am. duno when will it ends tho. lol it's gonan be a tough job for sure. Pray that i can cope with the job AND the ppl. The Creative director seems nice (who interviewed me) but the lady that i talked to on the phone seems like a harsh person.

Well, i'll try my best to do it and i'll cherrish this chance.
My new office is at Quarry bay, takes me 45 min to get there~
Pls pray for me, friends. thx

ch.45 prayers note book

Reminder**
To start a prayer items note book, as suggested by the rev. today.
One brain can't handle that much info and yup, tons to pray for.
So, must buy a note book to put the items in black and white.

Learnt from today's Bible study**
Continue to pray on the items is like continue to water the plant. No water, no growing of the plant. Don't stop praying.

BIG NOTE **
Continue to pray for the Tsunami's victims.

ch.44 goodbye 04, happy 05

Happy New Year!!
2005 is here.
What an exciting year it was, 2004.
When i reread my 43 blogs, i realized so many things happened to me in 04. I remember I once prayed to God to give me a life that got tons of obstacles/lots to experience. I guess the prayer is answered. It's great.

Major events happened to me in 04:
Birth of my second niece.
Seeing my grandma, dad, mom.. hk family member again after so many yrs of separation. really see them getting old.
Everyone's sick in my family: dad's kidney transplant, aunt's surgery, grandma and aunties' eyes problems.
Death of my Gu-Por.
2 close friends got married, 1 is pregnant now.
Changing 2 jobs in a yr.
Moving from toronto to hk, from tai po to yau ma tei.
first time carolling and went to 7 homes in one nite.
first time puking in mtr.. lol.
Achieved the crazy 16 hrs 38 mins mountain walking trip. YAH!!

Still have lots of things to concern but i thank God for the blessings. It's wonderful. I lived my life and i shall continue to live a life that please God.

And yah, i'll reduce alcohol in my life starting now. Hate getting drunk. Please remind me not to drink too much whenever u see me doing it. There you go, my first new year's resolution.

ch. 43 blessed

Downoloaded this software called "e-sword" today, my cousin told me about it. It's a software that helps u to serach the Bible. acatully, it got tons of feautres, eg. power search, commentaries, dictionary, map, all kinds of things.

it's amazing the number of times the word "bless" appeared in the old and new testaments. It happens to appear more in the old than in the new. it acatulyl only appeared 8 times in the new testament. Why is that? People did not want to be blessed in the new testament? No, it's because we are blessed already! The Lord has blessed us and have sent His only son to be with us. In Matthew 28, verse 19-20, it says: " Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with your always, to the very end of the age." The Lord has already told us He is gonna be with us "always, to the very end of the age." The disciples know that and so the word "blessed" is less said in the new testament. However, peopel in today's world do not really pick this up. We always say "God bless, may the Lord bless you... etc." We WANT the Lord to bless us, but the thing is the Lord has blessed us ALREADY. Our attitude should not be "o, Lord, please bless me, bless the people... " but should be " O Lord, thank you for blessing me/us, how should I/we repay you?" Do not be discourage by what you are facing, because you are blessed by the Lord. You cannot see the big picture of what the Lord has planned for you, why bothered by this tiny obstacle and lose faith but rather u shold think about how you can repay the Lord?

ch.42 concertsss

o man, went to two concerts yesterday and today. AWESOME!

FIRST one = 達明一派's concert.
they have this theme of "working for the public" and they asked the audience to dress as the peopel who work for the public, ie. construction people, doctors, etc. There were some hardcore fans did it. Some dressed like ER people, China volleyball team, a raindeer and construstion people. so much fun~ The music of 達明 was great too. The flow was awesome, it's a total fit. All the songs were planned in the perfect timing. It was more like a party than a concert, everyone just stood up and danced. Amazing. 刈以達 was so funny! He didn't have to say a word but just stood there, ppl laughed like crazy. The crowd went more crazy after he said something silly and went mad when he said a song.

SECOND one = 2pm-10pm outdoor concert
man, i m so tired now coz just got back. Lots of singers were there.. mostly from taiwan. They were good. Different from 達明, but much more fun! The location was at west kowloon helicopter place. It's this super big open air space which got a great view of the hk island. And since the xmas decorations r on now, even prettier. I was there since 2 something n stayed till the end, which was around 10pm. It's more a rock n roll concert and the crowd went crazy with the bands. jumping in the air, shaking heads, and screaming from the top of the lung were things that ppl did most of the time. I was at the center of the crowd and yes, i did followed them to do the same thing. It was fun. I definitely used it to release my stress and so i screamed like crazy. How cool to have a chance like that to scream as loud as i could and people would scream with me. haha. There were fire works too.. so pretty. Danny Summer was there and he was the climax! haha. He sang 交叉點, leslie n benny totally know the lyrics and sang the whole song with him together.. haha. 張震嶽 was the 2nd climax, ppl went soo DIN! me too. haha. it was great fun!

ch.41 late niter

i miss working at late late hours.

Always worked till the morning when i was in toronto for the school assignments. like lots of other ppl, i enjoyed the "loneliness" at nite, the feeling of absolute silence, freedom and zero disturbtion.

It's 4:40am rite now and i m still up. Working on these 'assignmetns" for my interview at bodyshop. It's due tmmr and i just got them done. I m definitely a deadline-oriented person. my brain doesn't work well when i have too much time. however, ideas just keep rushing in when the deadline is approaching.. say 1 day before dealine. lol. i love this feeling tho. I usually spend lots of time to brainstorm before "the-day-when-my-brain-works", i kept thinking about wht i can do, but usualyl nothing good comes up.

anyway, just that really miss working and staying up late. I m still very awake rite now.. may be coz i had a cup of coffe at 10pm? :P

gotta keep sending resumes. gotta keep sending resumes. gotta keep sending resumes.
gotta keep my faith. gotta keep my faith. gotta keep my faith. gotta keep my faith.
gotta live in the moment. gotta live in the moment. gotta live in the moment.
must read more. must read more. must read more. must read more.

ch.40 Jesue, all for Jesus

"Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have
And ever hope to be

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these
into your hands

For it's only in
Your will that I am free
For it's only in
Your will that I am free"

This is a worship song i learnt from urbana 03 and was sang last sunday at my church worship service. A very good reminder, my freinds. Don't you let yourself lose faith.

Have been having interviews these days, got some from good companies... it's amazing to meet the ppl who interviewed me already, let alone getting the job. well, no offers yet, but i'll see.

Miss u all~

ch.39 The future hotline

The "Future Hotline"?

I took this pic awhile ago when I was at GuangZhao with my dad. It's printed on the walls of a construction site. I found it quite funny. Future hotline.. hmm.. lol.

I guess everyone wants to know about our own future. Who are we gonna married? When will I die? What will I be doing 5 years from now? Will I get a job tomorrow? Will it rain tomorrow? lots of questions in the future tense. If there was a 'hotline' that we could call, i think everyone will be spending all their time dialing the number and their "future" is = addiction to the future, neglection of the presence. The unknown is always so much more interesting than the known.
May be not knowing somehoe gives us hope (false hope?) and so lots of people try different channels to get to the unknown.

Being a Christian, we are blessed. We know what will happened: Our Lord is coming back. With this big picture in mind, all we have to do is to fulfill our earthly duty: lead more peopel to Christ. Yes, we do feel confuse, sad, helpless, worry at times, but as long as we know that the Lord is with us, we can turn all our burdens away and just concentrate to live our life fully with what the Lord has prepared for us.

ch.38 de + sig"h"

Definition of "De":
1) Do or make the opposite of; reverse
2) Remove or remove from
3) Out of
4) Reduce

Definition of "Sigh":
1) To exhale audibly in a long deep breath, as in weariness or relief.
2) To feel longing or grief; yearn.

The combine meaning of "de-sign/h" = not to feel bad!
What a great way to feel about life!

how i love to be a design/her.

ch.3716 hrs 38 mins

The hills are ALIVE~~~~~~~~
yah, i'm done with my crazy 16 hrs mountain walking/climbing/short-of-breath-to-talk-at-all fund raising trip.
It was HARSH! but fun and great for will power trainig.

by the end of the trip, i was so exhausted i couldn't say a word and i fell asleep on the cafeteria table. I couldn't feel my legs and i totally got the new definition of "exhaustion" in my dictionary.

My teammates included Roy, Tai and leslie. i dun wanna believe it at first but i have to admit that woman's physical condition is really not as good as men's. on my way up a super steep hill, i had to stop quite often to catch my breath. my teammates didn't leave me but waited for me. that's super sweet coz i know from fact that some ppl from other team acatully left the less-physically-equipped teammate behind, which was such a selfish act. Anyway, we climbed to at least 3 hills and man, i m telling ya, the air up there is super fresh, cool and nice~~ totally miss that feeling right now, surrounded by the cool air, countless mountain tops and the night scene of shatin. The scenaries were fantastic and all the hardwork of going up and down the hills all worth it.

anyway, my legs are still in pain, not quite able to walk down the stairs yet.. m i glad that i dun have to work. lol.

well, the trip is like the great touch to end my relax-jobless-mood. I m all refreshed and ready for my another journey of my days on earth.

ch.36 fun lovin' life

Since i m out of job, I have so much free time to experience other things. Here are a few things that i did within these 5 days:
1) Reading.
Books that i'm reading are Da Vinci Code(still, haha.. but it's really gd!!), What is the color of my parachute(one of my nicest co-workers lend me that, it's about career changes/job hunt/to understand myself more. It's nothign but boring like other self-help book, lol), The secret inside the paintings (that's real interesting, the author talked about 100 paintings from the old days to the modern era. Catogarized by women, men, nature and religion. It tells the story behind each painting and those 8-por stuff about the painters. haha. definitiely my cup of tea~),
2) Going out.
I've met some interesting people these five days. My church is hiring new pastor and the Bible study group that's held on wed was lead by him. His name is Dale Johnson and he's been serving in the middle east for 14 yrs. he's the expert in arabic language and he's the arebic adversor in the movie, Passion of the Christ. He has also studied 1 yr in China and now he's here in HK with his wife. He lead us through the first chapter of Roman on wed night and it's quite intriging coz i still remember what he said. Other than him, i met Cheung Chan Ork. haha. Went to his Gig at this bar last night with my lovely guys: tai, roy and gay. Finally gotta see mr. Cheung in person. I've been listening to his songs for awhile and reaidng his interviews made me wanna see wht kinda guy he is. Well, didn't really get to talk to him but the feeling of seeing him in person is cool enough. Singing his songs with him were great. haha. One more person is this gallery coordinator at Shang Hai Street. Shang Hai street is located at Yau Ma Tei, some really old district with old buildings and mainland china immigrants, hookers, gangsters and drug addicts. Well, i walked over there yesterday with my dad to buy medicine and foudn this gallery, "Shang Hai Street Art Space" at one corner. Went in, talked to her and she's a photographer. She said i m welcome to book a timeslot at the gallery to show my work. ha. how nice that would be! and i m thinking about that. hehe.
3) Watching moviesssss
Joined a movie club. now it only cost me hk$28 for one movie! wahahaha. and i could rend free dvds and magazines!! how nice is that! The place is at Yau Ma Tei, the Broadway Cinematheque, a walking distance from my home. I watched "Motorcycle diary" and "Super size me". Both are not mainstream movies but i enjoyed them alot. The first one is about Che, the cuban revolution leader, well, it's about him in his early 20s travelling around central america with his freind. How the travel has bewildered his perspective in life. The 2nd movie is about this guy who's in this experiment of eating Mcdonald's for 30 days, 3 times/ day. Totally made me dun wanna eat old Mc anymore.

Things that i'll do now: going to the Design exihibition at convention centre!!! hehehe.. and then go check up my teeth with this dentist, who was a highsch friend of my bro. hope that he's hot. haha.
Things i'll do tmmr: my fun lovin' 16hrs mountain walking!! The lady who does the cleaning of my house acatully worries about me and will go with me. haha.. She's cool and fun and she's the expert in mountain walking.

ch.35 God's work: Raymond K.

duno if u guys remembered the 889 DJ called Raymond? he's back in hk and we r attending the same church. He's studying theology at hk right now. Very nice man.

He just called me and prayed with me on the phone. It was amazing.
it was my first time praying with a friend through the phone. And it was Raymond, the cocky-dj-used-to-be!
That's totally God's work.

I remember the first impression i had for him is this cocky guy who think he's all that. I met him when i was working at 889 one summer. he rarely talks to ppl and whenver he talks, he just inch ppl and say things that put ppl down. I dun like him at all.

When i got back to hk and saw him attending the same church as i m, i was so surprised. I didn't wanan talk to him coz the impression of his cockiness is still there. But then, he has changed. he's became this mr. nice guy who is so passionate about God. He's acatully studying theology and wanting to be a missonary. wht other conclusion can i make except this is God's work. raymond has transformed after he met Christ. And he acatulyl prayed with me on the phone. how amazing is that!

God's so cool. Another evidence of Him being the omnipower God.

ch.34 A day to remember

Things that happened today:
1) i quitted my job.
2) Stress attack.
3) Food poinsoning.

yah, so i handed in my resignation letter today at 6pm. The boss told us to think about it and she welcome us to go back. I was abit shaked, but then, nah, not gonan go back. That's not what i wanted. However, after handed in my letter, suddenly i found myself lack of breath. Couldn't breath and got cold sweat.
i was ok at the beginning of my journey home, but when i m almost home, i sweat like crazy, cold sweat n my stomach hurt so much. I thought tis' just my normal stomache, so i just lied on my bed and try to sleep and hopefully it'l be better soon (well, that worked before~) but then, after 2 hrs, still feel the pain. and I couldnt' lie there anymore n went to the washroom. There, the amazing puke-and-'all'-marathon happened. o man, i was like, puke for 2 mins, then 'all' for 3 mins and on and on.. soooo sun fu! N the things i puked out were the sphegette that i had for lunch. ALL were out. I wanted to laugh coz the sphegette looks like they haven't got chewed at all.. but then iwas too "sun fu" and lack of energy to do anything.. n yah, occupied by the serious diarrhea. Horrible experience. SO i told my dad and said that i got food poisoning and he hurried got me to the ER. I felt much better at the ER but still went to the john for a few times. after waiting for an hr, got called in, and they shoot a needle on my bum. and totally felt the medicine running thru my right leg to my left. I thought i could leave but the nurse told me to wait for an hr to see if i show any allergy to the medicine. Thank God i didn't.

During the waiting, i gotta chance to talk to my dad. Just some usual stuff and felt really gd. And when i called my bro, he said he experienced that once too and it's gd to have someone to share experience with.

aynway, me super weak now. not gonna go to work tmmr. ha, right after i resigned, how cool is that. man, i've been sick once a month since i got this job. may be due tot he 2nd hand smoke.

ch.33 hanging out

i love hanging out with my friends.

found this nice upstair cafe at mongkok n hung out with my Tor friends over there for the whole nite last nite. Felt like back to the old days at Tor. back to those "168 - big-2-magazines" days. haha.
it was lots of fun. we just played big-2, blow water, n enjoyed ourselves. it's even more fun than before coz it's so precious.

A friend said that i've became this "sad" person after i m back.
am I really?
when he said that to me, i was quite in shock. but then when i think about it.. i think the
'sad' part of me has somehow grown bigger ever since i came back. He said to me that i shoudl go back. ha.
well, i immediately cheered myself up n talked n joke around. that mad me felt good. I haven't been so cheerful for awhile.

but his question triggered my thought.. i acatully became 'sad' when im back. that doesn't sound right... hmm...

anyway, i love hanging out with friends. i mean real freinds. coz we say all sorts of things: the mo liu jokes, the stupiest comment, the 'noone-laugh-at-joke', and, the truth.

i need more dozes of the "hangout pills" to sustain my life in hk.
come back, my friends! hehe..

ch.32

『不是路已走到盡頭，而是該轉彎了』
這句話其實很有意思

當你遇到一件事，已無法解決，甚至是已經影響到你的生活、心情時， 何不停下腳步，暫時的想一想是否有轉闤的空間，或許換種方法，換條路走事情便會簡單點。 但，通常在那一刻，我們並來不及想到這些，只是一昧的在原地踏步、繞圈，讓自己一直的陷在痛苦的深淵中，生命中總有挫折，那不是盡頭，只是在提醒你：該轉彎了！ 放手不代表承認失敗， 放手只是為自己再找另一條路走！！


cried after work. *hint*: shd start looking for a new job.

ch. 31 Sim chung Sim

went to watched AARON KWOK's concert last night.
man, he is FIT!!! n i mean it.. way to go, can't believe he's 37 already~~
anyway, his dance moves were AWESOME! n the group dance, just "wow!"
but then, when he started to sing the slow songs... i m pretty sure the line up at the wc was quite long.
well, the show was a good show overall and it totally brought me back to my pre-Toronto days. All the "yes cards!"(which i think i still have them~), the "sim chung sim", "aaron is the best" haha.. quite alot of fun those days..

man, i have to work tmmr(sun)~ argh!

ch.30b where is a?

this is Ch.30b becoz my original ch.30 has disappeared. I remmeber i wrote ch.30 and posted it few days ago.. but mm... it just disappeared without me deleting it... how weird.

i remembered i wrote about my boss on 30a.. o.. spooky..

anyway, i've been eating like crazy for the past 2 days. Went to have buffet last nite with x-dan ppl and then tonite, my grandma's bday dinner. man, i was and am still so full that i wanna puke. LITERALLY. and yah, gained weight, of coz. haha. but man, the food at the buffet was really gd. they got chinese, western, japanese, indian, thai, bbq, salad bar, appetizers, AWESOME desserts. And for tonite, wonderful wonderful chinese food. couldn't resist.
and yah.. i'll go exercise tmmr..

ch.29 my brother

" of course, people wil change, that's why, you have to think about it and if frustrated, there's always the Father Up There who could help you right? "

Talked to my brother thru msn tonite. It was his first time using Msn n he asked me wht that is.. kinda funny.. my "in" bro knows nothign about computer. lol. He's in toronto rite now n i miss him dearly. My family is having quite some problems lately and i duno who to talk to. My brother is the best candidate and tonite he just popped up in msn when i needed to talk the most. hallelujah to God's timing. I shared with him about my job, he shared with me his experience and i think that' just so nice. After talking to him, i felt much better and the best thing is that he showed me his faith upon Him, feel so great to know that my bro actually didn't get lost in his "entertainment career" but still keeping his faith as gd as before.

God is so good to me, a wonderful brother, a kind dad and a considerate mom. wht else shd i ask for?

ch.28 10.5 months after Urbana

Today's worship was a hillsong conference sharing worship. 7 ppl from my church went to the hillsong conference at australia in july. The worship team lead us with the songs that they learnt from hillsong and they shared their experience with us. They showed us the pictures at the conference and some videos that they took. That totally reminded me of Urbana. The times in Urbana are still vividly in my mind. I remembered the workshops that i went to, I remembed i cried at the worship, i remembered i surrendered to the Lord.

Can't beleive it's been 10 months since then, so many things happened in my life. I can tell u for sure that the Lord is watching over me. Through my ups and lows, He's there: When i was weak, He gave me strength; when i was sad, He gave me peace; When I was lonely, He made sure i know how to enjoy it and kept sending friends to me; When i hated myself, He told me that He loves me; When i forgot about Him, He didn't forget about me.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills---
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip---
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you ---
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm---
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and for evermore." Psalm121

(This is the passage that we shared at the 2nd cell of x-dan.)

ch.27 EQ level upgraded

got scolded again today.. right before i got off work. how nice. totally made my day.
.... how i wanna go to work tomorrow.

if i got scolded with a gd reason, i m fine with it. but due to stupid-pms-reasons, wht the?

not happy at all which made me miss the person more.

i dun wanna hate my boss coz if i do, i dun think i can work there any more.
i dun like the job search process..
wht a gd way to practice my patience.

EQ level upgraded. nice.

ch.26 can't stop eating

omg. i can't stop eating today.
quite busy in the morning, then after my fruity lunch, i just kept on eating.
a bag of maltesers (YUM!), then oreo, then instand noodle with lots of food, then shrip chips, then some chinese snack from my grandma, n now a cup of coffee.

i guess there's only one reason: i m depress.

n i still wanna eat.

lol.

nooooooooooooooooooo... !

gotta pick up joggin tmmr.. *O*

ch.25 x-dan 2

2nd meeting for x-dan tonite.
it was great.
we held it at Wil's place at Ma On Shan, quite far away but we gotta walked to the shore at night, which is very enjoyable.
felt so great to share n pray with the gang.
glad that we have this thing done.
praise the Lord.

ch. 24 Happy goodbye

Never knew 2 weeks are that short.
Never knew that a goodbye can be a happy one.

well,
Of coz i miss the person.
Of coz i dun want the person to go.

but,
the memories will never be forgotten;
the things we shared will be kept forever.

and,
when i think about it, it's amazing how i have met this person out of all the others in this world.

so,
i shd be thankful aobut the good memories that my Lord has blessed me with,
and,
not be sad about the person leaving.

may be,
we'll meet again soon.

ch.23 ......

shoulder was there...
+ mood
+ right words
+ my sudden rational mind

then i missed it.
there... i lost it.

sleepless.

ch.22 A dream of grey

We live so far away, but we met at this tiny place.
We walked through the sea of ppl, also each others' mind.
Under the starry night, we talked about our lives.
We were in awe cause we are so alike.
Perfect people, perfect timing, but what can u do with the wrong match of place.
This is just a dream if you continue your way.
A dream of grey.

ch.21 Friends

I always think.. it's so amazing that me and u met and became friends.
In this over-populated world, with the perfect timing, the perfect place, the perfect chemisty.
Are we destined to meet?
I think so.
Is there a purpose?
I think so.

How i m glad that I've met u.

ch.21 Wan Chai

Went to explore WanChai with my design teammate tonite. We went to a street that has lots of toy stores, retro-toys, mostly. Then we went to check out a mall called "188" and i got some awesome CDs with gd deals.
Most of the buildings in that area are built long long time ago and my friend said that they r gonna be torn down soon. wht a pity. All the history will be down with the ashes. I guess that's life. We'll be ashes sooner or later.
Anyway, had a very nice talk with the gal over dinner. Finally met someone as crazy as i m in hk. She studied film as her undergrad and it's so much fun to talk to her about the film and music and life. We just talked about anything, everything. From voting result to recognizing we both have split personalities.. lol..
well, thank God for giving me this funny gal as my teammate.. since i have to be with her 6 days in a week, 9 hrs a day.

ch. 20 Mulholland

met a very interesting person tonite.

He's a musician in England. The vocalist and plays the bass in a band.
A traveller. He's in his 1/2 yr trip rite now. He saves up n then took 6 months off to travel. He's been to: Spain, south america, hk, eastern europe, cambodia, beijing, russia, thailand, mongolia, malaysia, and vietnam.
Things that he brings: a backpack and a travel guitar.
Nationality: british, but looks chinese coz he's a mix.
Job: sound engineerer

He told me about his travel experiences and i felt so small while listening.
Seriously need to save up for travel.

How nice to meet someone like that. Living under the same sky but so different life style.

everyone's so uniquely made... God's so amazing.

ch.19 logic vs. illogic

If everyone is a "1", then "1+1=2" does not exist. may be = "1. 9", but never a "2".

Even if u r with another person, if he/she doesnt' understand u, u r still being alone, = "1".
Even if u are with 10 freinds, but they dun understand u, u r still alone.

Hence, 1+1 does not equal to 2 but less than 2.

ch.18 Running

i m still blue and tired.
BUT i ran today after work. After the 45 mins of running and walking, i feel so much better. I ran on the street, a big circle around my neighbourhood. First i ran up the hill then to the big street then uphill and downhill and streets again. I sweat like a dog and i felt great. I duno before, but i think I enjoy sweating.
While i was running, i didn't think. All i had in my mind was a song with the "mtv" being the scenes of the neighbourhood. I ran faster and faster and i rarely stop. Feel good to run coz my tireness are all gone ( for sure tmmr morning i can feel it. sigh. lol) and i dun wanna eat after running. I feel full after running. ha. weird.

i can't believe i actually pick up running in hk and i m enjoying it. how funny. well, may be i just need some time to be alone...

ch.17 tired again

I duno wht day is today. mon? thurs? sat? makes no difference.
work work work work work work work work....
eat eat eat eat eat ...
sleep.

thank God that i m enjoying my work.

ch.16 blue

The tomato soup is blue.
The chair is blue.
The mouse is blue.
The tv screen is blue.
The shirt is blue.
The room is blue.

I m blue.

ch.15 Extend : X-dan

8 people out of 11 attended X-dan. It was great!

we sang, we shared and we prayed. wht a night.
We talked about our church life in hk.. n then talked about how God has blessed us during our days at hk. Everyone is blessed in different ways. After.. well.. min.20yrs of yrs on earth.. i m kinda getting to see part of the plan God prepared for some of us.. like the things that that person experienced before, which was a diaster at that time, is acatully good for that person at this moment... nothing to say but just a simple "wow". lol

After the first cell, i found that X-dan is really something that we need. As one of the gals said, it's amazing how all of us r gathered together again at HK.. we left hk, moved to toronto, n then back to hk.. u know, it's not something usual. And i guess God placing us together has His meaning.

And the feeling for that night was different than going to cell at toronto. first of all, i think we all have aged n has started working. Wht we say/how we think r more mature than b4 and our sharings r more personal/deeper than b4. We dun need a specific program or anything, we just talked and talked.. and ate.. then talked n it was relaxing and it's something very precious.

really Thank God for everything.

ch.14 6/7

i work 6 days per week. FULL day.

The exciting feeling of "yes, friday finally!" is gone. Today is friday and i dun even wanna go out coz i have to work tmmr and waking up is a very difficult task for me.

argh, this SUX!

but i actully like to go to work coz i have lots of fun during work. I get along super well with the other design gal. These r the things that we do: sing, dance, draw, joke around and eat. well, of coz we work too. How can we do that? well, first of all, the boss doesn't care as long as we have the work done ( n fyi, we r quite efficient... duno y with all the other things that we do at the same time.. lol) and we sat just next to each other in the same cubicle, we just slide to each other whenever we r bored. The first thing we do in the morning is to check what CDs we've got for the day. Music really helps us to relax ( may be too relax sometimes.. haha)

anyway, work is getting more interesting too. Magazine will launch soon. My boss just got a job as an artist's stylist.. shd be fun. She wants to transform the company into a production house. Hopefulyl i won't get fired before that happened.
___________________________________________________________________
Tmmr = ex-dan first meeting. 10 ppl are coming, awesome! It should be a great night for sharing and praying.

ch.13 books

I bought these books recently:

1) How to win freinds & influence people ( this is a great book, said my grandpa & 3rd uncle)
2) Six thinking hats
3) Manage your time, manage your work, manage youself ( this is acatulyl from my grandpa's bookshelf)
4) Dumpling by Li big wah (the movie featuring miriam yeung... they say it's a scary movie.. but it's a funny one instead. seriously. n i shd wait for VCD instead of going to the movie theatre)


I enjoy reading. But there's not much time for me to read in HK. Always rush to this place, that place.. n the only time i could read is either on the bus/mtr when it's not packed, or before going to bed. Sometimes, i'll stay home just to read. With a cup of timmie's in my right hand n the bk in my left, the feeling was just amazing. It's gd to have a lazy afternoon sometimes.

As u can see, the books that i m reading r mostly non-fiction. I like to read these kinda books these days.. feel quite naive after started to work... want to absorb as much knowledge as possible, want to learn how to be a better person acatully.