bowel-cleansing: 7pm - 11pm.. very tiring.. never shit so much before and when u go poo like u pee.. it's not funny. it was painful and exhausting.
colonscopy: my doc injected something in the back of my hand and missed. the last thing before i gone down was "damn... u missed?" n then i woke up at 11am seeing myself on my bed. Then i went back to sleep again. woek up at 1am.
ultrasound: everyone moved so fast, was out in the room in 10 mins. the doc said my intestines are fine. but there might be a cyst/benign thing.
will knw the result tomorrow. keep praying.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
ch.206 human flourishing
What Is Human Flourishing?
One biblical index of human flourishing appears in the prophets and recurs in Revelation. In trying to help people understand his promises of blessing to them, God sketches a picture of a city with the sound of musicians heard in the streets, artisans busy at craft and trade, the economic engine of the millstone turning, the domestic miracle of a lamp in a window and the voices of bride and groom rejoicing (Rev. 18:22-23; see for example Jer. 7, 16, 25, and especially 33). When either our hearts or our societies cease to flourish, these sounds fall silent. But these are sounds God loves to hear, for our good and his delight.
These outward signs of flourishing might well be supplemented by the inward signs of Christian virtues or the fruits of the Spirit. Are we bearing the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? If so, then we are flourishing.
Contributing to Flourishing
Sadly, it must be said that many people are not doing well. They’re sick, they’re poor, their leaders oppress them, their relationships are shallow, their hopes are unrealized, or they have no hopes left at all. Christians looking about them at the world are sensitive to many forms of human suffering and human failing, and we’re right to remain sensitive to all of these — whether economic or emotional, political or intellectual, international or intergenerational, physical or spiritual. People in every sphere are right to ask, “Is this any way to live?”
One reason we can be sensitive to human suffering and failing is that we, following Christ, remain committed to human flourishing. In the fallen world, such flourishing will be hard-won. But we can get beyond a mere catalog of the disasters around us and rise up to challenge suffering’s sources and symptoms alike, because knowing God has given us a taste for what his world is supposed to be like.
As Christians we join in the work of Jesus, who (by his own testimony) came that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). This life is multi-dimensional: spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, aesthetic, and social. As Jesus’ followers, we are called to nurture life within ourselves, in our communities, and around the world. Abundant life is a quality of the Kingdom of God, and from this root grows our commitment to human flourishing.
All people can contribute to human flourishing, if only in the humblest acts of care for others. But those of us in the universities and professions have been given a precious gift. We can contribute in extraordinary, even unique, ways to human well-being: the obstetrician who delivers a baby alive who would otherwise die, the teacher who guides students to understanding and academic success, the judge who shepherds a case to justice. Such examples can and should be multiplied and the stories told. Such principles should be advanced in every discipline and profession. Imagine what Christians might accomplish in our culture if we conceived of our academic and professional work as making a godly contribution to human flourishing?
What Human Flourishing Is Not
Let’s be clear about what human flourishing is not. Human flourishing is not the only way to frame our life as Christians in the university and professions. By focusing our attention on the topic for several days together, we do not intend to eclipse other important approaches to understanding God’s call to academics and professionals.
Nor is human flourishing to be cultivated at the expense of the non-human elements of God’s creation. In fact, God has always called us to be good “gardeners” in order to best live life. God made all of creation good and made its living inhabitants to be fruitful and multiply, and he charges us with responsibility — in accountable dominion — to help it flourish.
Human flourishing does not pit the individual against the community or the personal against the social. We want to consider the ways we can both model and multiply human flourishing. It rejects the selfishness (not to mention the inefficiency) of “looking out for number one.” At the same time, it does not submerge each individual within a smothering collective. God makes individual persons and he makes communities, and we believe he wants both to flourish.
Human flourishing is certainly not to be reduced to the acquisition of physical comforts and economic security (or security of any kind). We believe that God’s vision for human flourishing is broader and deeper than “the American dream,” a single-minded petition for “health and wealth,” or the facile appeal to an ethic of “survival of the fittest.” In the academy and professions, we often see the lack of flourishing manifested precisely in the pursuit of illusory forms of flourishing, through careerism, overweening ambition, vainglory, or the sacrifice of relationships to selfish goals. Human flourishing is not merely “success.”
The alleviation of physical and economic suffering is part of the picture, especially for those most affected, but we also know that there is a mystery in God’s economy: that often hardship brings blessings not found among the complacently comfortable. Jesus himself was a man of sorrows, and we learn to “suffer well” as we are conformed to his image. We particularly want to remain open to the role of sacrifice in human flourishing, without valorizing poverty or despising riches.
It turns out that human flourishing is not really very human at all: it is a divine gift. Its original design was given by the Maker and now he endows the spiritual gifts and provides all the resources to pursue it. Human flourishing is not an end in itself and cannot be fully realized without worship, apart from which we cannot apprehend the proper ordering of the world. As we worship, we are released from the naïve and arrogant egalitarianism in which we imagine we are like God. Human flourishing is never grounds for boasting, but always an occasion for prayer, praise, and gratitude.
In the end, the ultimate question is one of identity and vision: who did God make us to be? What would it have been like to live in God’s original garden, walking with him at our side as we practiced our calling? Or perhaps better — what will it be like to live in God’s New City amid his New Creation, dwelling in a divinely restored community, within a renewed environment, loving God with heart, soul, mind, and strength?
One biblical index of human flourishing appears in the prophets and recurs in Revelation. In trying to help people understand his promises of blessing to them, God sketches a picture of a city with the sound of musicians heard in the streets, artisans busy at craft and trade, the economic engine of the millstone turning, the domestic miracle of a lamp in a window and the voices of bride and groom rejoicing (Rev. 18:22-23; see for example Jer. 7, 16, 25, and especially 33). When either our hearts or our societies cease to flourish, these sounds fall silent. But these are sounds God loves to hear, for our good and his delight.
These outward signs of flourishing might well be supplemented by the inward signs of Christian virtues or the fruits of the Spirit. Are we bearing the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? If so, then we are flourishing.
Contributing to Flourishing
Sadly, it must be said that many people are not doing well. They’re sick, they’re poor, their leaders oppress them, their relationships are shallow, their hopes are unrealized, or they have no hopes left at all. Christians looking about them at the world are sensitive to many forms of human suffering and human failing, and we’re right to remain sensitive to all of these — whether economic or emotional, political or intellectual, international or intergenerational, physical or spiritual. People in every sphere are right to ask, “Is this any way to live?”
One reason we can be sensitive to human suffering and failing is that we, following Christ, remain committed to human flourishing. In the fallen world, such flourishing will be hard-won. But we can get beyond a mere catalog of the disasters around us and rise up to challenge suffering’s sources and symptoms alike, because knowing God has given us a taste for what his world is supposed to be like.
As Christians we join in the work of Jesus, who (by his own testimony) came that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). This life is multi-dimensional: spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, aesthetic, and social. As Jesus’ followers, we are called to nurture life within ourselves, in our communities, and around the world. Abundant life is a quality of the Kingdom of God, and from this root grows our commitment to human flourishing.
All people can contribute to human flourishing, if only in the humblest acts of care for others. But those of us in the universities and professions have been given a precious gift. We can contribute in extraordinary, even unique, ways to human well-being: the obstetrician who delivers a baby alive who would otherwise die, the teacher who guides students to understanding and academic success, the judge who shepherds a case to justice. Such examples can and should be multiplied and the stories told. Such principles should be advanced in every discipline and profession. Imagine what Christians might accomplish in our culture if we conceived of our academic and professional work as making a godly contribution to human flourishing?
What Human Flourishing Is Not
Let’s be clear about what human flourishing is not. Human flourishing is not the only way to frame our life as Christians in the university and professions. By focusing our attention on the topic for several days together, we do not intend to eclipse other important approaches to understanding God’s call to academics and professionals.
Nor is human flourishing to be cultivated at the expense of the non-human elements of God’s creation. In fact, God has always called us to be good “gardeners” in order to best live life. God made all of creation good and made its living inhabitants to be fruitful and multiply, and he charges us with responsibility — in accountable dominion — to help it flourish.
Human flourishing does not pit the individual against the community or the personal against the social. We want to consider the ways we can both model and multiply human flourishing. It rejects the selfishness (not to mention the inefficiency) of “looking out for number one.” At the same time, it does not submerge each individual within a smothering collective. God makes individual persons and he makes communities, and we believe he wants both to flourish.
Human flourishing is certainly not to be reduced to the acquisition of physical comforts and economic security (or security of any kind). We believe that God’s vision for human flourishing is broader and deeper than “the American dream,” a single-minded petition for “health and wealth,” or the facile appeal to an ethic of “survival of the fittest.” In the academy and professions, we often see the lack of flourishing manifested precisely in the pursuit of illusory forms of flourishing, through careerism, overweening ambition, vainglory, or the sacrifice of relationships to selfish goals. Human flourishing is not merely “success.”
The alleviation of physical and economic suffering is part of the picture, especially for those most affected, but we also know that there is a mystery in God’s economy: that often hardship brings blessings not found among the complacently comfortable. Jesus himself was a man of sorrows, and we learn to “suffer well” as we are conformed to his image. We particularly want to remain open to the role of sacrifice in human flourishing, without valorizing poverty or despising riches.
It turns out that human flourishing is not really very human at all: it is a divine gift. Its original design was given by the Maker and now he endows the spiritual gifts and provides all the resources to pursue it. Human flourishing is not an end in itself and cannot be fully realized without worship, apart from which we cannot apprehend the proper ordering of the world. As we worship, we are released from the naïve and arrogant egalitarianism in which we imagine we are like God. Human flourishing is never grounds for boasting, but always an occasion for prayer, praise, and gratitude.
In the end, the ultimate question is one of identity and vision: who did God make us to be? What would it have been like to live in God’s original garden, walking with him at our side as we practiced our calling? Or perhaps better — what will it be like to live in God’s New City amid his New Creation, dwelling in a divinely restored community, within a renewed environment, loving God with heart, soul, mind, and strength?
Friday, July 25, 2008
ch.205 long day
yes, i single handedly finsihed the proposal and presentation. I pray that the client will buy wht i presented. I was really surpprised that they didn't get it in the first place. what did they expect? i've asekd many to comment on the ppt and they all said it's very well covered and easy to understand. well, i m glad that i gotta talked to the client n explain to them in details what i presented and they sounded satisfied.
scared the X out of me when they called and said they dun understand. damn, just play the slide show ! that was definitely one cultural shock for me... they dun play the slide show but just slide the ppt down.... shit.
anyway, spent the whole day with doc sam today. talked alot. n during lucnh, i actaulyl kinda lead to religion topic with him n patrick. keep praying for them.
and doc sam told eddie that i m not happy with my work. great.. there's really no secret in this place. argh. i'll see wht's eddie's next move.
scared the X out of me when they called and said they dun understand. damn, just play the slide show ! that was definitely one cultural shock for me... they dun play the slide show but just slide the ppt down.... shit.
anyway, spent the whole day with doc sam today. talked alot. n during lucnh, i actaulyl kinda lead to religion topic with him n patrick. keep praying for them.
and doc sam told eddie that i m not happy with my work. great.. there's really no secret in this place. argh. i'll see wht's eddie's next move.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
ch.204 尋找生命中的目標
很年輕的時候，精力無窮無盡，時間恍似永遠用不完。
就像唸中學，甚麼也好奇，甚麼也好玩，隨便唸十多個科目，還要參加各樣課外活動。及至上大學，再不能夠貪多，改為專修一科。
當你年紀漸大，精力減退的同時，很奇怪，時間亦愈來愈不夠用。去到這地步，修一科也嫌多，恨不得集中所有資源，只鑽研裏頭的一個小題目。
假如略有所成，謝天謝地，回顧一生應無憾。否則，原來幾十年來，白白熱鬧喧嘩一輪，竟然才發現是枉過，那種空虛失落，簡直比死還難受。
因此，做人到咁上下，要開始尋找生命中的目標。流浪不再是好玩，漂泊只因為是無奈。
任憑你是大英雄、大美人、大才子，誰也敵不過時間；唯有及早打算，暗中密密練功，各自需尋各自門。像劉德華，經歷過多產時期、天幕事件等等，尋尋覓覓、兜兜轉轉，近年來反璞歸真，自設公司名「FOCUS」（焦點）。顧名思義，很明顯他亦已覺悟，以後的事業發展，正需要集中在「焦點」。
蔡瀾也是，一向多才多藝，文章、書法、篆刻，以至風花雪月，兼日本 、韓國 通，正是無一不曉、無一不精。後來大病過後，專注在飲食研究，將以往的雜學融匯貫通，從此大放異彩，提升事業往另一新階段。
狄娜 年輕時，鋒芒太露、氣勢太盛，亦是能人所不能。中年後收斂，集中精神開發中國的航天業務，累積幾十年經驗，現在伸展到歐盟 的「伽利略」衞星導航系統，只做好這一樣已足夠。
最厲害的是查先生（金庸 ），許多人俱知道他創辦《明報》，亦是武俠小說名作家。可是查生的才華，其實我們見識的還嫌少，除了中、英文外，他尚精通法語，發音正宗標準；而且亦是圍棋高手，對古典音樂的鑑賞力極高，隨時可以兼做樂評家。博學到這一個地步，查生卻有本事放下，很早就集中在辦報與寫作，避免浪費時間與精力，果然中年後創出一大番事業，可見成功沒有僥倖。
世上聰明的人多，有目標的人少；具實行力達標的更是少之又少，希望你還趕得及開始。
就像唸中學，甚麼也好奇，甚麼也好玩，隨便唸十多個科目，還要參加各樣課外活動。及至上大學，再不能夠貪多，改為專修一科。
當你年紀漸大，精力減退的同時，很奇怪，時間亦愈來愈不夠用。去到這地步，修一科也嫌多，恨不得集中所有資源，只鑽研裏頭的一個小題目。
假如略有所成，謝天謝地，回顧一生應無憾。否則，原來幾十年來，白白熱鬧喧嘩一輪，竟然才發現是枉過，那種空虛失落，簡直比死還難受。
因此，做人到咁上下，要開始尋找生命中的目標。流浪不再是好玩，漂泊只因為是無奈。
任憑你是大英雄、大美人、大才子，誰也敵不過時間；唯有及早打算，暗中密密練功，各自需尋各自門。像劉德華，經歷過多產時期、天幕事件等等，尋尋覓覓、兜兜轉轉，近年來反璞歸真，自設公司名「FOCUS」（焦點）。顧名思義，很明顯他亦已覺悟，以後的事業發展，正需要集中在「焦點」。
蔡瀾也是，一向多才多藝，文章、書法、篆刻，以至風花雪月，兼日本 、韓國 通，正是無一不曉、無一不精。後來大病過後，專注在飲食研究，將以往的雜學融匯貫通，從此大放異彩，提升事業往另一新階段。
狄娜 年輕時，鋒芒太露、氣勢太盛，亦是能人所不能。中年後收斂，集中精神開發中國的航天業務，累積幾十年經驗，現在伸展到歐盟 的「伽利略」衞星導航系統，只做好這一樣已足夠。
最厲害的是查先生（金庸 ），許多人俱知道他創辦《明報》，亦是武俠小說名作家。可是查生的才華，其實我們見識的還嫌少，除了中、英文外，他尚精通法語，發音正宗標準；而且亦是圍棋高手，對古典音樂的鑑賞力極高，隨時可以兼做樂評家。博學到這一個地步，查生卻有本事放下，很早就集中在辦報與寫作，避免浪費時間與精力，果然中年後創出一大番事業，可見成功沒有僥倖。
世上聰明的人多，有目標的人少；具實行力達標的更是少之又少，希望你還趕得及開始。
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
ch.203 45 mins
i ran again today. 45 mins. must keep it up and i m so proud of myself. When i was at 40 mins today, i just didn't wanna stop and increased the time. I just like the feeling of running and sweating and pushing to the limit. Once i reached limit, the 45 mins for this time, i felt so good.
n yes, i m so poor.. n i sersiously needa find ways to get money.
I actaully called s+e baby today.... in my mind. iduno y.
----------------------------- just read this from news ---------------------
title: 丈夫花心令我絕望
我和丈夫是大學同學，相戀七年才結婚，結婚三年多，在他的一再要求下生了孩子。生孩子前我一再提醒他，能否接受有小孩後的生活改變，我認為小孩出生，必會影響我們的原有生活和感情。他說既然我們的父母都可以，為甚麼我們不行？於是我懷孕、生產、哺育、工作。我的孩子是早產兒，出生時才四磅多，我花了很大的工夫養育他，讓他健康成長，也因此影響了夫妻感情，我以為他會理解，但在孩子一歲多時，我發現他跟初戀女友舊情復熾。事後他發誓一定會離開她，我相信了他，結果在孩子剛兩歲時，我發現他又搭上了另一個女人。最令我心痛的，就是早在我懷孕之後，他已前往找三陪，想不到他竟是這樣的一個男人。幾經掙扎，我決定跟他離婚，然而被他拒絕了。其後，一位好友替我分析，日後不管找到一個如何好的男人，卻始終不是孩子的親生父親，而且一個人帶着這麼小的孩子會很累，所以令我改變了主意。只是，日夜對着這麼一個不負責任的男人，一種無形的巨大壓力，令我透不過氣來，我們的相處簡直是互相折磨，我不知自己還能承受多久？如果說我對他已沒感情，我不會如此受傷害。我看了妳的書，得到一些啟發，我希望自己能有妳所說的勇氣和能量，擺脫負面的情緒，但真要這樣做，實在很難。最難的是經常面對他！周太 女 27歲 主婦
犯不着勉強自己
問題不是你是否跟他離婚，也不是你無能力照顧孩子，而是你和他已失去信任，不再親密。他的身心早已背棄你，他的承諾無法兌現，他只是多年來不住瞞騙你在外邊尋找他的情慾寄託，他已迷失了自己，只在縱慾和濫情，到了無法自控的地步。他不想離婚，不是因為他愛惜這個家、愛惜你、愛惜孩子，而是不想因為自己的貪慾破壞了家庭，被千夫所指，或者他也太軟弱，無法承擔失去家室後的失敗感，所以不斷說服自己，他只是逢場作戲，並不是大罪，他還是個顧及妻兒的好男人。和他再相處下去，不會帶來任何快樂，反而每天製造不安全感，和曾相愛的男人同牀異夢，勉強走在一起，彼此互相折磨和虐待，這不是健康的夫妻關係，也不會為下一代帶來幸福。孩子需要的是快樂的家庭，而不是表面完整的父母關係。你已完全否定他，他也難以再給你忠誠溫馨的新生活，你們之間的緣份大概已到限期，面對現實吧，女人應有更自由的天空，過自在的生活，犯不着勉強自己。
------------------------------------- i feel for s+e's wife -----------------------
n yes, i m so poor.. n i sersiously needa find ways to get money.
I actaully called s+e baby today.... in my mind. iduno y.
----------------------------- just read this from news ---------------------
title: 丈夫花心令我絕望
我和丈夫是大學同學，相戀七年才結婚，結婚三年多，在他的一再要求下生了孩子。生孩子前我一再提醒他，能否接受有小孩後的生活改變，我認為小孩出生，必會影響我們的原有生活和感情。他說既然我們的父母都可以，為甚麼我們不行？於是我懷孕、生產、哺育、工作。我的孩子是早產兒，出生時才四磅多，我花了很大的工夫養育他，讓他健康成長，也因此影響了夫妻感情，我以為他會理解，但在孩子一歲多時，我發現他跟初戀女友舊情復熾。事後他發誓一定會離開她，我相信了他，結果在孩子剛兩歲時，我發現他又搭上了另一個女人。最令我心痛的，就是早在我懷孕之後，他已前往找三陪，想不到他竟是這樣的一個男人。幾經掙扎，我決定跟他離婚，然而被他拒絕了。其後，一位好友替我分析，日後不管找到一個如何好的男人，卻始終不是孩子的親生父親，而且一個人帶着這麼小的孩子會很累，所以令我改變了主意。只是，日夜對着這麼一個不負責任的男人，一種無形的巨大壓力，令我透不過氣來，我們的相處簡直是互相折磨，我不知自己還能承受多久？如果說我對他已沒感情，我不會如此受傷害。我看了妳的書，得到一些啟發，我希望自己能有妳所說的勇氣和能量，擺脫負面的情緒，但真要這樣做，實在很難。最難的是經常面對他！周太 女 27歲 主婦
犯不着勉強自己
問題不是你是否跟他離婚，也不是你無能力照顧孩子，而是你和他已失去信任，不再親密。他的身心早已背棄你，他的承諾無法兌現，他只是多年來不住瞞騙你在外邊尋找他的情慾寄託，他已迷失了自己，只在縱慾和濫情，到了無法自控的地步。他不想離婚，不是因為他愛惜這個家、愛惜你、愛惜孩子，而是不想因為自己的貪慾破壞了家庭，被千夫所指，或者他也太軟弱，無法承擔失去家室後的失敗感，所以不斷說服自己，他只是逢場作戲，並不是大罪，他還是個顧及妻兒的好男人。和他再相處下去，不會帶來任何快樂，反而每天製造不安全感，和曾相愛的男人同牀異夢，勉強走在一起，彼此互相折磨和虐待，這不是健康的夫妻關係，也不會為下一代帶來幸福。孩子需要的是快樂的家庭，而不是表面完整的父母關係。你已完全否定他，他也難以再給你忠誠溫馨的新生活，你們之間的緣份大概已到限期，面對現實吧，女人應有更自由的天空，過自在的生活，犯不着勉強自己。
------------------------------------- i feel for s+e's wife -----------------------
Saturday, July 19, 2008
ch.202 lateral thinking
i've started to read this bk by E. de Bono. finsihed the first 2 chapters and he was explaining the differences between lateral and vertical thinking. Lateral is a A-Z-B-C-G, a more general, less restictive, indirect to /more options to solutions, more "creative"/"general" way of thinking; while Vertical is A-B-C-D, direct and to the point thinking.
llateral thinking ppl will go on and on to look for the solutions and vertical will know wht the solution is and dig in deeper to that exact direction. i think i m some what more towards a lateral thinking person. When i think, i tend to think of the unconventional ways rather than the usual pattern. The bk also said that our brain is used to the standardized pattern will go step by step with that 'standardized" direction. however, if that diretion didn't work out, the standard is no longer the standard and that will freak the vertical thinking person out as they realized they hv to repatternized their steps and do it over again to work out the 'correct' way.
it's so hard to be a vertical thinking person coz i find it hard to figured out/ make sure the correct way to dig in. such as my career, my "hobby", i hv so many interests and i never really dig into any so that i m really gd at one. i can play the piano, i can swim, i can sing, i can design.. but i hvn't really dig into any of those deep /long enuf. Also with my religion. i believe in G but i dun read the Bible. I m a emo-Chrisitian.. i used my emotion to control my relationship with G. Also with my reading, I always go to the bookstore to pick out new bks that i m interested, but i seldom finsih reading them. hmm.. acatully, i dun think this is a gd example. aynway, just saying i m glad i m knowing more about myself and what i shd improve on.
work it up girl! and yes, i'll eat healthy, exercise and hv a healthy lifestyle. Glad that my body gave me an alert at this early age.
llateral thinking ppl will go on and on to look for the solutions and vertical will know wht the solution is and dig in deeper to that exact direction. i think i m some what more towards a lateral thinking person. When i think, i tend to think of the unconventional ways rather than the usual pattern. The bk also said that our brain is used to the standardized pattern will go step by step with that 'standardized" direction. however, if that diretion didn't work out, the standard is no longer the standard and that will freak the vertical thinking person out as they realized they hv to repatternized their steps and do it over again to work out the 'correct' way.
it's so hard to be a vertical thinking person coz i find it hard to figured out/ make sure the correct way to dig in. such as my career, my "hobby", i hv so many interests and i never really dig into any so that i m really gd at one. i can play the piano, i can swim, i can sing, i can design.. but i hvn't really dig into any of those deep /long enuf. Also with my religion. i believe in G but i dun read the Bible. I m a emo-Chrisitian.. i used my emotion to control my relationship with G. Also with my reading, I always go to the bookstore to pick out new bks that i m interested, but i seldom finsih reading them. hmm.. acatully, i dun think this is a gd example. aynway, just saying i m glad i m knowing more about myself and what i shd improve on.
work it up girl! and yes, i'll eat healthy, exercise and hv a healthy lifestyle. Glad that my body gave me an alert at this early age.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
ch.201 gd that i got covered
so, i m ok. thank G for that!
but... i m recommended to hv a endoscopy of rectum due to my family history of cancerSSS and heart diseasesSSS.
gd that i bought insurance last year and my agent told me i got most of the cost covered. thank G for that again.
watched Kung Fu Panda last nite.. and as wu-kwai said "There is not accident", it's very true. "Believe and you'll be it".. c-fu. also true. wht a funny but great movie.
argh, n the panic feeling of knowing that i might be diagnoised with serious diseases, alerted me. I shd live a healthy life style, eat healthy, exercise and sleep early from now on. the most important thing is being healthy.
n ya, going to take brief from MJGZ tmmr! lovely.
but... i m recommended to hv a endoscopy of rectum due to my family history of cancerSSS and heart diseasesSSS.
gd that i bought insurance last year and my agent told me i got most of the cost covered. thank G for that again.
watched Kung Fu Panda last nite.. and as wu-kwai said "There is not accident", it's very true. "Believe and you'll be it".. c-fu. also true. wht a funny but great movie.
argh, n the panic feeling of knowing that i might be diagnoised with serious diseases, alerted me. I shd live a healthy life style, eat healthy, exercise and sleep early from now on. the most important thing is being healthy.
n ya, going to take brief from MJGZ tmmr! lovely.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
ch.200 hernia story continues
just went to see my family doctor after work today. told her about my situation, how the circular flat protrusion turned out to be a long flat tube shape. she laughed. i hv to admit it is kinda funny. I'll hv to go see the general surgeon she recommended tomorrow and see if wht he wil diagonised me as. Nothing i can do but just keep praying and eating healthy.
Yanzi and Tina are gone. Found 2 memo cards on my mouse pad. "u r a special girl" i've never really lived with 'strangers" before. before were 'friends' whom i've known for ages. So i m abit surprised on what they htought of me. " you r thoughtful and detail minded" "u must love your life and work". " u r energetic" "U r willing to take challenges"
how interesting what my reflection is to strangers whom i hvn't really talked to and jsut shared the flat with.
talked to jovi and marcos today, figured the salary of jovi and terence is not high at all. interesting info. wht are we still here?
Lord, pray for my brother and his family. For them to walk in Your way. For myself as i need guidiance and for T, yes, forhim, for him to know more about u and guard his heart from evil.
Yanzi and Tina are gone. Found 2 memo cards on my mouse pad. "u r a special girl" i've never really lived with 'strangers" before. before were 'friends' whom i've known for ages. So i m abit surprised on what they htought of me. " you r thoughtful and detail minded" "u must love your life and work". " u r energetic" "U r willing to take challenges"
how interesting what my reflection is to strangers whom i hvn't really talked to and jsut shared the flat with.
talked to jovi and marcos today, figured the salary of jovi and terence is not high at all. interesting info. wht are we still here?
Lord, pray for my brother and his family. For them to walk in Your way. For myself as i need guidiance and for T, yes, forhim, for him to know more about u and guard his heart from evil.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
ch.199 1+2
today, i got 2 guests from china coming in. They will spend 5 days with me because they r here to do their sharing. it was ok so far. but i dun think i like living with other ppl.
my lower left stomach is still feeling the protrusion. argh. went speed walking at physical today. it was ok. no more pain, thanks G.
had breakfast with eleanor n jen today at 8AM!! so i m kinda tired now... i must work harder harder harder to get more money. i m so broke.. argh.
my lower left stomach is still feeling the protrusion. argh. went speed walking at physical today. it was ok. no more pain, thanks G.
had breakfast with eleanor n jen today at 8AM!! so i m kinda tired now... i must work harder harder harder to get more money. i m so broke.. argh.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
ch.198 FULL of SHIT.. *O*
i m full of shit... literally.
apparently, the pain i felt at the lower left side of my abdominal is part of my small intestines sticking out form the abdominal muscle wall. yes, it somehow got into the small hole and when i cough (which i hv been coughing quite alot lately), n the cough/ inhaling of air, made the small intestines stick out more. The doc said if i still coulnd't go for no.2 more often, i might need to do surgery. If there was an acute pain or if i puking up, i must be sent to ER immediately because i got "siu cheung hey". This is not a small surgery but one in the middle size. it's better for me to eat liquid food for now until i got a more frequent no.2 "going out".
called my bro and he reminded me that my grandpa had the same thign before and he did the surgery. Is it heritable?
rachel will get her report tmmr, n her case is more severe than me. keep her in my prayer and Lord, pls help her.
u r the everlasting God. u r the everlasting God.
apparently, the pain i felt at the lower left side of my abdominal is part of my small intestines sticking out form the abdominal muscle wall. yes, it somehow got into the small hole and when i cough (which i hv been coughing quite alot lately), n the cough/ inhaling of air, made the small intestines stick out more. The doc said if i still coulnd't go for no.2 more often, i might need to do surgery. If there was an acute pain or if i puking up, i must be sent to ER immediately because i got "siu cheung hey". This is not a small surgery but one in the middle size. it's better for me to eat liquid food for now until i got a more frequent no.2 "going out".
called my bro and he reminded me that my grandpa had the same thign before and he did the surgery. Is it heritable?
rachel will get her report tmmr, n her case is more severe than me. keep her in my prayer and Lord, pls help her.
u r the everlasting God. u r the everlasting God.
ch.197 argh
the feeling of waiting is not gd.
gd that i'll hv the appointment tmmr nite. argh. gotta keep the faith.
Spent the whole day with doc sam today at gz. he told me to change job. haha. great. will do. he said i was so mean these days or may be so not in the mood that he didn't dare to keep close with me. haha. gd guy, gd friend.
gd that i'll hv the appointment tmmr nite. argh. gotta keep the faith.
Spent the whole day with doc sam today at gz. he told me to change job. haha. great. will do. he said i was so mean these days or may be so not in the mood that he didn't dare to keep close with me. haha. gd guy, gd friend.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
ch.196 Here in Your Presence
Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed
Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
-------------
dear G, thank u for your comfort.
keept rachel in prayer.
thank G for my bro and sis-in-law.
--> tehy r back from tpi safely, n i recieved the cosmopolitan lauggage bag today.
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed
Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
-------------
dear G, thank u for your comfort.
keept rachel in prayer.
thank G for my bro and sis-in-law.
--> tehy r back from tpi safely, n i recieved the cosmopolitan lauggage bag today.
Friday, July 04, 2008
ch.195 何謂聰明人？
Read from the newspaper today regarding "definition of a smart person", well, let's see..
一、儲蓄友誼，朋友是生命中不能缺少的；
yes, i do treasure my gd friends but on the other hand, i do find that I am losing lots of friends. Losing as in we are keeping a distance from each other now. Those from highschool, with different life experience after graduation, everyone changed. Still friends but the feeling has changed. Those whom i wasn't too close with, some now became a gd frd of mine.
3 years of learning beside Eddie, i realized how important friends are. All built up from friednship, friendship also builds up business. I really do cherrish my friends, spending time with jen, wil, how, mir, suz r gd times. i could spend all my time with them (hopefully they think the same way) but some, i feel reluctant.
二、學會放手，特別是在處理感情問題上；
o yes. 1 yr already and i finally let go the rest of my 10%. yes, being able to let go your feeling is wht a smart person should do.... i m stupid on that.
三、播種善良，幫助比你苦、比你難過的人；
this i try.... however, i figured i lied without me knowing it sometimes. it's horrible. do i wanna make things look gd? make myself look gd? or wht? why do i lied so damn often without knowing?
I tend to help. I am a helper from the concludsion of "9 ying yan gak".
四、學懂音樂、攝影或收藏；
i m blessed to be born with musical talent. at least i think i can dance to the beat! hehe.. and i used to collect erasers wheni was young. haha. I was going to learn photography from francis, but he is too busy with his girl, argh..
五、避開兩種苦：得不到之苦和鍾情之苦；
得不到之苦 - haha. how to 避開? 避開 is to not think about it, i guess. i m not as logic as jen, i m emo. to stay away from these two is tough for me.
鍾情之苦 - haha. i think at this period, s+e still got me into this. when will i get out from here?
六、學會承受苦痛和煩惱；
o yes, that i learn and i m good. I m "miss positive" here.
七、愛護家庭；
yes,i love my family... eventho with all the mess. actually... i m lying again. i m not satisfy about my family. they r all gd but argh.. just some r fake..it's hard to say, i guess we r too civilized .. argh...
八、熱愛工作；
try hard.
九、勤於學習，每年最好至少讀五十本書；
this i have to set up my goals. i bought lots of books.... must read!!!!!!
十、享受運動和大自然。
yes, sports for me! joined physical...n i must run! run, jan, run!
一、儲蓄友誼，朋友是生命中不能缺少的；
yes, i do treasure my gd friends but on the other hand, i do find that I am losing lots of friends. Losing as in we are keeping a distance from each other now. Those from highschool, with different life experience after graduation, everyone changed. Still friends but the feeling has changed. Those whom i wasn't too close with, some now became a gd frd of mine.
3 years of learning beside Eddie, i realized how important friends are. All built up from friednship, friendship also builds up business. I really do cherrish my friends, spending time with jen, wil, how, mir, suz r gd times. i could spend all my time with them (hopefully they think the same way) but some, i feel reluctant.
二、學會放手，特別是在處理感情問題上；
o yes. 1 yr already and i finally let go the rest of my 10%. yes, being able to let go your feeling is wht a smart person should do.... i m stupid on that.
三、播種善良，幫助比你苦、比你難過的人；
this i try.... however, i figured i lied without me knowing it sometimes. it's horrible. do i wanna make things look gd? make myself look gd? or wht? why do i lied so damn often without knowing?
I tend to help. I am a helper from the concludsion of "9 ying yan gak".
四、學懂音樂、攝影或收藏；
i m blessed to be born with musical talent. at least i think i can dance to the beat! hehe.. and i used to collect erasers wheni was young. haha. I was going to learn photography from francis, but he is too busy with his girl, argh..
五、避開兩種苦：得不到之苦和鍾情之苦；
得不到之苦 - haha. how to 避開? 避開 is to not think about it, i guess. i m not as logic as jen, i m emo. to stay away from these two is tough for me.
鍾情之苦 - haha. i think at this period, s+e still got me into this. when will i get out from here?
六、學會承受苦痛和煩惱；
o yes, that i learn and i m good. I m "miss positive" here.
七、愛護家庭；
yes,i love my family... eventho with all the mess. actually... i m lying again. i m not satisfy about my family. they r all gd but argh.. just some r fake..it's hard to say, i guess we r too civilized .. argh...
八、熱愛工作；
try hard.
九、勤於學習，每年最好至少讀五十本書；
this i have to set up my goals. i bought lots of books.... must read!!!!!!
十、享受運動和大自然。
yes, sports for me! joined physical...n i must run! run, jan, run!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
ch.194 1-month
Got back from Physical and i feel good. Tired, but good. Joined Physical yesterday and today is the 1st day of the membership. Went to E-house and did 30 mins running, smae amt of time on machines n then just shower n went home. jogging was gd.
so rachel said the "work out after 3 hrs u consumed food" is an urban myth. The best time is in the morning. Ok, i'll try then.
I am going to spend 1 month on this healthy life style and see what result i got. It is my experiment.
so rachel said the "work out after 3 hrs u consumed food" is an urban myth. The best time is in the morning. Ok, i'll try then.
I am going to spend 1 month on this healthy life style and see what result i got. It is my experiment.
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