ch.137 grappa + espresso

hmm.. this is great! hung out with my aunt and uncle and had a great time. 2 bottles of red + 1 glass of grappa + espresso (So damn good!) + numberous plates of chips & olives.. n of coz the live jazz.. what a great night!

this is realyl gd. n i gott asay, man, first time hanging out wiht my aunt and uncle nad it's really great. i do miss th bastard sometimes but i tend to think of someone else later.

argh. god, i need your guidiance..

s+e is something cool.

ch.136 bride's maid

finally, amy's wedding is over. being the bride's maid.. man, i think ppl shd get pay doing that. it's so much work and slave girl not only for the bride but for the bride's sister and mom for the whole nite! but then, i guess it's all worth it.. can't beleive amy still got the letters we mailed to each other when 15 years ago.. i still hv them too. this is so good.

i tend to like guys who r honest. honest to admit that he's a bad guy, at least. ha. no more shocking unexpected incidents, which is good. feel good talking to s+e. can't wait to go to sh. we'll see.

ch.135 yellow tail

had another yellow tail tontie with mr. tai. it was great. love drinking red these days. just can't stop. not alcoholic tho, just like the tipsy feeling. had a great timewith him and my gosh, the "pasta" and "soup" thing.. so damn similar. i guess i m not that unquie after all.haha.. just glad to came out with him tontie.

stil tipsy at this moment. gonna sleep soon.

yay. no work tmmr.. just gonna enjoy amy's wedding nite!

i do miss samuele. but duno wht's His plan.

ch. 134 oh

amy's wedidng was great but tiring tho. my 3 inches highheel killed me n i m glad the day ended at 4:30pm. Friday is the 2nd round and should be tiring as well..
man, this week is so tiring.. just woke up early every single day, my gosh. tmmr gotta take the 730am train, hopefully my boss won't talk to me so that i could sleep on the way.
ppl said there is somethign going on but i m telling myself there's not too much. dun hv high hopes. I m just gonna enjoy what i hv at this moment right now and see wht's gonna happen in the sh trip.

i m starting to enjoy what i m hving.. finally.. enjoy the food.. lately fell in love with red wine, blue cheese and bread. enjoy the music, love the jazz.. the art.. still klimt, erotic and elegant, how great it is. .. enjoying my job, to finally enjoy the work.. one gotta love wht one does in order to excel in it.

pray that my enjoyment in life persist... n of coz i m thankful. thanks G.

n yah.. "oh".. wht's with that! lolz..

ch. 133 ctrl C & ctrl V

went to this event tonite with jen at innocentre... it's funny how ppl could hv thought of somethign like this. battle between digi. drawings. lolz. if the quality of hte contestants were better, the show would be better.. n damn, the judges suck! "hmm.. very efficient", "very good", "very fast", "very close".. shame on u guys!

anyway, so went to work till 4 today.. coz dind't do jack on friday!! haha.. was msging with mr. S the whole day. i think we connected but i still duno this person too well. i m more cautious now. but it was cool to get to know him more as we got quite alot to say and share similar thinking.

tmmr's amy's wedding.. shoot, i gotta sleep,it's gonna be a long day.

ch.131 HH with R,S &K

had a loooooong meeting today.. well, but started an hour late coz the ppl just got NO self dicipline at all.
anyway, so hung out with Mr. S, Mr. R and Mr. K at this pub at wanchai. pretty nice. finished a bottle of red and had some delicious potato skin. i love hanging out with them, filled with all my self confidence when i m with them.

n mr.S msg me. ha. interesting.

had a great nite with dr.wong as well. so much fun. totally brought our childhood back tonite. gd to keep in touch with her.

ch.130 nite at the press

love the blue cheese. how it melted in my mouth, having it inside my mouth just made life became more beautiful. how great it is to be able to enjoy such delicious food. the goat chees was not bad neither, permasean was alrite... the other one, the soft cheese, it's pretty nice as well. fruity and very rich in flavour, not bad not bad. It was just some good food to enjoy, n of coz with some great companies as well.

Enjoyed working with the ppl, professional yet knows how to enjoy life. isn't that how life shd be?! Ms.J became so offensive tonight, she's such a prideful person, try to be strong but longing for someone to depend on. easy to handle. Mr. R is someone that has very high eq. the way he handled ms. J, skillfully let ms. J to express her feeling and lead her to say it by herself the way he wanted it. what a great lesson. and finally, mr. K, lolz, this guy, i just love him. love hanging out with him. fun to be with and good to work with.

my doc mr. S, he's cool as well. really miss the days we hung out n chit chat.

hmm.. feeling so fat as well... but it's all worth it! :P

ch. 128 nice stories

went to gz today, brought my kid there to check out GZ. it was his first time there and he figures it's not very "china" to wht he pictured.

spent the whole day with him and gotta know him more in depth. very interesting stories from him. stories from the days when he was working in Dragun air. all the stories about crazy bj guys, rude rich men, and gang fights on the plane.. very interesting. n then stories about his family and the family restaurant. the stories of his reckless youth life..

he's only 23 but very nice to talk to him coz wht he experienced was more than lots who are 28.

well, i figured... i m not really the drama queen. haha.

ch.127 the fall of icarus

the fall of icarus,
no one cares when he's begging for his life.
just no one cares.

dun be like this..

still got tears for u. shit..... pls go back n be gd.




eason's concert was gd. the stage design, the lights and the clothes.. unexpectedly beautiful.

ch.126 A Sunday

was thinking alot of things during sermon today.. the sermon is called "Hold On"... about us holding on to the Lord.

there are pretty much 2 pathways in my life and lately, the temptation to another one is increasing. struggling but i shd know what is right. living in righteousness n in G's way needs lots of faith and perseverance. I m glad to have support from my frds and church fellowship ppl. just hanging out with them is gd support already.

G always give me wht i needed to hear when i needed it. how amazing is that.

did alot today. FINALLY get my nails done!!! the fake ones are really annoying and I LOVE my natural nails right now.. the lady at garden st is pretty gd, got it done in 15 mins and even gave me a manicure... of coz have to pay but it's worth it. finally bought my iron board.hhaa.. n went shopping today efficiently. got wht i needed. later on will really start to clean up my biggest room and made it become my study or to practice my keyboard or may be make it become a book corner.. Not gonna rent it outcoz living alone is damn good. haha.

O, n the "before sunset" movie is actaully quite gd. i found the conversation to be very real and kinda reminded me of my own experience. went to serach for "b4 sunrise" but got no luck~

ch.125 nite in the office

still sitting inside my cubicle.

i think i shd move. was supposed to go to gz with u but now figured u r not going but i m going instead. ha. u r heading back to the states.

what happened after you was really interesting. life seems to be more fun. at times, still think about u.. see if we'll meet on the street but time is not right.

met a lot of new friends w/in these 3 months and my case is not that bad comparatively... i m still good.

still pray for u and your family n your friends.

ch.124 shanghaiii cheers

things that happened:

ms.chu + cool weather + sandy + cigar + jazz + red x 2 + ringo + jasmine + somerset + samuele + babyface + citizen + kiss + benz + congee + timefish + no.1dinner + the house + spa + pool + tea house + anders + 5am + tmsk + daughter + chinese blue + talk at airport with sandy + shiraz + merlot + carbernet + villa du lac + sweet bitter melon + ride back home + happy ringo + methol + peter wong + david wu!!

ch.123 back

got back from yunnan. brother's wedding this friday. my new assistant came. i moved into a cubicle.

with all these things.... and others.... i shd be v happy but i feel like my heart has hardened.

pls pray for me.

ch.122 5am

talked til 5am that day...
was it wrong?
it was sad.
gotta keep praying for u.
gotta keep praying for u.

ch. 121 FFSH

FFSH stands for Fuck Face Shit Head.

by the double J with inspriation from L & the 2 FFSH.

ch.120 gzzzz...

been there for 3 days & 2 nites for the exhibition.

finally.. a wknd at gz..... but it was too late. was i supposed to be there with you.. was i supposed to take more days off for u... it wasn't that great a feeling when i was there.... being there... made methink about u. i know this is not good. not good at all.. n i've been telling myself u r not worth it... n u r not what i want.. n u r not mine anymore... u dun care anymore.. why shd i care.

why is it so tough lord? why having me to go thru this? when i thought i m ok.. this sudden memory just popped up in my mind and drained me back into the endless black hole of pain and emptiness.. as if i just got shot again.. on the same wound just got healed.. the blood kept swamming out... little by little.. drop by drop... just to keep the wound unhealed.. n the heavy feeling within me.. stayed within me... laughter is jsut to hide my deep down sadness.. as i needed that to keep myself lifted up.

pls let me go through this faster Lord.... it's not good..

ch. 119 thankful

thankful for all these..
1. friends to share my feelings with and who are willing to do it vice versa, share feelings with me.
2. jovi, samuel, wil, tai, how, eddie, kau gor, sum, rocky, benny and ar gor. i thank God for all these gd friends.
3. azura, jen, wendy, mir, agnes, janfong, charron, pauline, fyn, karen... amazing girl friends.

talked to rocky and he reminded me of spiritual achievement. what a good reminder. what is my achievement when i turn into 30s and 40s? spritutally, i m so young. mentally,i m still young. but i am gonna do it step by stpe.. and pray to God to help me grow.

thankful for my boss as well, amazing to have him as a boss. can acatully talk about anything and get wise advices.

pray for tommy and his family, for them to let God enters their hearts.

great is thy faithfulness.

ch.118 new things

1. backpacking to yunnan. visiting the 2 places that i've always wanted to go since i was in canada: lijiang and shangrila. CAN"T WAIT!!
2. managing the crazy mofo in gz.... i'd have to say, it's quite challenging... but i can do it.
3. discovering beaches in hk... too bad the air is polluted... but chilling and being lazy under the sun with sea breeze is very good.
4. talking to people whom i don't usually talk to... a whole day world to discover.
5. wanting to get a cat (!!).. yes, a cat... short hair one perferabbly.. coz dun need to clean up too much hair.
6. going for business trip (!!) .. finally.. got business trip to go.. first gz, then sh. shd be fun. it's gd that i can meet more ppl and work with the professional designers in town (man, sandy is so damn hot eventho he's old .. sandy is a man.)
7. having my own cubicle at work... this is gd and bad. it's like a promotion.. but it's also like.. buidling up an invisible wall between ppl whom i eat lunch with..
8. having an assistant (a tall & young kid.. who used to be a air hostess!!) ... all i could say is.. i hope he knows what he's doing and pls make him smarter than me so that i can just get him to do all things for me. haha
9. living on my own... it's good. i like it... very free.. can run around naked. haha..
10. o, getting facial hair off in a very traditional chinese way... quite an interesting experience.. but it costed me so damn much!
11. lookin for quality life style in little things.. i like to add freshly squeezed lemon juice to my water... getting bailey on the rock sometimes...
12. picking up swimming... which is good. i really thank my dad for teaching me when i was young.
13. going to islands for food... ya... won't do it too often tho..
14. speaking more mandarin at work... and apparently ppl DO understand.
15. talking in a softer tone and trying to convince ppl in ways that they can't resist... which is an art i think.. n i m working on it ... n sometmes it works.. sometimes, i gotta yell, still. haha
16. reading the Bible and other books... yes.. been readding whenever i got time when i m on the transportation, which is a very very good habit i figured.... i'm on my 3rd bk now.
17. helping my bro for his wedding... i do cherrish my relationship with my bro.. it's pricelss.. just like american express. lol
18. multi-tasking x 10 times... i m a OA, PA, AE, Des, CW, Sec, lunch buddy... etc.
19. being a wedding banquet MC..... can't wait to meet up wiht my partner.. whom wil said he's so hot. haha
20. breaking up.................... and living and not trashing myself. i thank God for that.

ch.117 gd times with the gals

had a gals gathering with the IFC gals tonite.. it wasn't that bad. haha. didn't have much to talk about in the beginning but after initiating topics, things got heated up and it went pretty well. ppl r juiced up with pauline's wedding preparation. and i finally officially announced the breakup. it wasn't that easy but it's ok. still shaked abit but i m good at controlling my emo. haha.
pray to God we could continue to develop our friendship and bond in Christ.

i gotta keep praying for lorace, hai, chang's family and ppl at work and remind myself that God's in control.

ch.116 at times..

at times.. like now.. i think about what happened.
i shdn't even think why and how it happened because it happened already.

it's gd to know the real side of this fucking guy.
it's gd not to married to him.
it's gd that i know now.

but it takes time for me to heal, i know.. just pray to God that i could be healed sooner.. coz my heart is really broken into millions of pieces... millions and millions... to the endless..

working is a good excuse for me to be busy. swimming is good too.. just wish that i could have more time to do that..

ai.. it's only 2.5 yrs of my 27 yrs... why spent so much time grieving.. shd really pick myself up!

i miss my old days at tor.