ch.184 wine + cheese

芝士跟葡萄酒一樣，分有不同的產區、製造方法、原材料、質感及味道，要為每種芝士配上適合的葡萄酒，有一些基本原則可以跟從。芝士配葡萄酒的方法分別是：鹹配甜、酸性配酸性、Creamy配氣泡或丹寧、濃味配重果味或Full Bodied、淡味配淡味及同產地互相配合。

ch.183 family fellowship

started the first family fellowship wiht my aunt tonite. it was a gd time talking to her. but i m so tired now. duno why i m so tired today. fell asleep on the bus ride to aunt's place.

say la. will s+e get me the quote ga.. shit. i hv to think of plan b.

pray God to give me courage for ltos of things. for my own determination. my own goal. talk to dad. talk to pat. be brave at work. dear God, pls just work in me. i m all Yours.

my thougths r flowing. can't think coz too tired.

argh.

pray for tommy n his family for them to be safe and know about U.

ch.182 K at GZ

K at GZ with the GZ team. location was at where T lived. shit. i dun think i mstill over. haha. shit.

it was fun tonite doing things together with the GZ team.

but my dream is bigger.
i needa dream bigger.
bigger things in life.

God, pls give me persisitency and wisdom.

ch.181 drink, drank, drunk

my family can drink. omg.crazy. today'si smy 2nd uncle's 60th bday. we got so many bottles of red and white and everyone got high. even my "bill bak leung" could drink.. whom i've never thought that she could!!! so funny and amazing.. my family is so funny.

i love my grandma, she's totally cool and i just love her.

my dad, my uncles and aunts.. the odler i got, the more fun i hv with them. i m gonna miss them when i m gone back to heaven.

life is so short, gonna enjoy every moment of it. thank God for giving me life.

ch.180 「堅持」

世間別無其他事物可以取代堅持。

天資不能，沒有比有天分但失敗的人更加普遍了。
才華不能，有才華但無表現，幾乎成為諺語了。
教育不能，世界正充滿讀飽書的廢人。

只有堅持和決心才有無限威力，無所不能。「繼續努力」這口號已解決了人類不少問題，它將永遠成為我們解決問題的力量。

教育、才華、天分以為是解決問題的工具，原來不是。繼續努力，才是創造奇蹟的不二法門。

原因不外是害怕人言和訕笑，或因情緒及衝動，也有見異而思遷，以及貪新和戀多。
回首，始知放棄竟是這麼容易，用來和堅持不懈作比較，其他的途徑都是輕而易舉的。只有「繼續努力」要咬牙、揮汗、忍住痛地做下去。

是的，我要堅持下去。走神的路。

ch.179 「藝術」

「藝術」只是一個代名詞，它本身並沒有一個實体。

在現代藝術裡，「藝術」是一個動詞，它的定義隨著人的生活環境、思想模式、表達工具之change再不斷change。藝術某程度上只是個人生活的藝術性散發。所謂「好的藝術家」，是用自己的腦袋對生命作深度思考，用心地真切生活的人，use their experience 具體化呈現成為作品，與人分享。

人的生命質感取決於他的文化涵養。

創作是人類最痛苦的心智活動，創作最終面對的是自己，藝術家是能真實面對自己的人。


went to museum of art today. good time spent.

made lots of deciison these few days. gonna joing STM, worship team, get more sat. home gathering, education project with pat n jac., fam prayer session.

thx God for your guidiance.

CH.178 "Here I am"

Majesty (Here I Am)


Here I am, humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

ch.177 focus

self conscious about myself.
very.

had dinner with the sh ppl last nite. eddie said the part was half for jasmine and half for me. i thank him for that. i appreciate him thinks of me highly. i shd appreciate wht's happenign with me. not many ppl go the chance.

i wanan do so many things so many many. i wanna be able to do things like s+e, francis, ringo. to be gd at something. to be a generalist, like what eddie said, is hard to do in this world. but yes, he did accomplished his part and retired in his 30s.

i pray that i could go through more dear Lord. thx for the experience with T. it's great to hv gone thru it. wht else for me Lord? i m open for more!

ch.176 2 guys & 1 girl

dalton is back. wen tout wiht him n nelson tonite... what a combination. at first, it was awkward. Yes. it was. havn't been out/ seen them for ages and duno wht to say. so we drank. 1st roudn at Skitz, 1 glass of Guiness. then we went to another one for kilxxx, potato skins & wings.. pretty gd food n we all got relaxed abit.. n things became fun! as i said before, i like the tipsy feeling. everyone turned out to be more relax, n speak out more. i laughed alot. haha.. the same old me. really hvn't been out wiht them for years. then went to a "Sun Kwon Chiu chow food" on lockhart rd. the cold crab was sooo good. but damn, i thought it's 88, but it's acatully 880!! SHIT!
so damn expensive! but it's so gd to be a girl coz i dun hv to pay as much. hahaha.. i still paid but alot less. haha..

still abit tipsy now... good. liking it.

sleep better too.

ch.175 SZZZ trip

had a great time with the cheng's couple, jen and how.

SHG dinnner. had the "drunken shrimp". the bowl of shrimps were brought to our table alive and the waitress poured in the wine infront of us and got this timer to make suer the shrimps are drunk. My first bite was to bite the head off and damn, the tail of the shrimp were moving inside my mouth! the taste was only soso but it was fun.

After dinner, we walked walked walked around the city. checked out different clubs, baby face, baby k, finally settled at yuppies. i figured my alcohol acceptance has increased. wasn't feeling too tipsy after finishing up 1 chivas & 1 black label with the 5 of us. haha. got picked up by 2 jen-thought-they-were-gay-guys on the dance floor. danced on the stage with wil. had some crazy stupid games and suz was horrible, always got me drinking. then went off to carnival and had our ma-sa-ge! the masage girl was as gd as the one i had at gz but the overal procee was alrite and i think i fell asleep. we ended at 5am and then went to this "sleeping rooms" with individual capsule. it was like those japanese ones. pretty cool. then woke up at 10am and went to this nice chinese restaurant with good view next to a golf course for our dim sum brunch. the food was pretty good~ sure will go back again if i got time.

went back to hk afterwards and finally went to jen's home. smartie is such a big dog n the way he panted, i felt sorry for that big guy. i walked him for awhile and dun wanna do it anymore. the dog kept walking in zig-zag way and the more i looked at him, the more dizzy i got. n i figured.. i m liking cat more.

then got to wil's home n enjoyed the nice view out at his balcony and the OTO masage chair. o i love the leg part. it's great. n the chair is not too big and cheap comparatively. pretty nice.

n i finally had my 1st driving range today at cheung sha wan. wohoo~ i couldn't get the ball the first few.... many times and dun even know how to hold that pole. this sport really requires concentration and at the last 20 mins, i really concentrated and finally gotta hang of it and hit the ball out. the price for such is not expensive neither.. very economic sport.

n then went jogging after got back home. a rugby tournement was going on in the other field and when the team won, the guys went crazy. it was fun to watch them. i could felt the excitment with them. n i made me wanna joing a sport team.

what a busy day.

supposed to meet up with s+e but dun wanna... letz see we both forgot. argh. dun feel right.

ch.174 pk-ed

man, started the morning with a pk. wore my new pair of shoes and damn, slipped and did a one-leg-horse / press-leg after i closed the gate at the G/F. ppl saw. those ppl who worked at the bus stop saw me.
it was very hilarious but none of them laughed. it hurt too! damn and i was so embarrased. but it was super funny. ahhahaa

what a great day.

o, n i kinda yelled at eddie too, feel bad now.. *O*

o, n ariel is gonan work at eet. wht a small world. that's the only comment i hv.

ch.173 tired

so tired today.

day trip to gz is always tiring.

passion at work.. argh..

so tired...

Ch. 172 "have a nice life."

As phrased by dearest jen, i m such a "mo-Q-liu" girl. And being a "mo-Q-liu" gal, i did "mo-Q-liu" things. and found out there are lots of "mo-Q-liu" ppl out there. So, found that T felt that he "doesn't belong" again and apparently he and mr. H had some problems and somehow, their years of freindship ended. this is shocking to as i couldn't believe they are so stupid. i duno what happened, may be mr. H said somethign bad behind his back but somethigns, u just dun break it like that. A freind who supported and helped u for years, i got this 6th sense that T played a major part in this "arrogant-american" character that made things worse. His personalities of "i m always right" just couldn't work. I hope he and his wife could make it and his wife is supportive. I pray that he will behave and dun hurt his wife's heart. I pray that he himself could live a life that is filled with love and no more selfishness. I pray that someone could talkto him about God. i also pray for mr. H, that when he said that short sentence, i could feel his pain and anger and sadness. man... T is really losing it. i feel bad for them.

went to a seminar held by HKIM tonight with eddie. the speaker was quite good. I listened to him with 100% concentration. i think marketing is all about epxerience with common sense. after tonight, it really made me wanna go study marketing. i m really interested in it. Thank God fort his opportunity.

I m thankful for today. but still pray for T and his family and his situation. man, i really do hope them well.

ch.171 Humor, Playfulness, Hope & Optimism

美國著名心理學家馬丁. 沙尼文(Martin Seligman)所提倡的正向心理學中，論及快樂並非單純源自沒有病患或沒有遇上不愉快的事情，要享有精神健康，也非只著眼於不正常或有問題的地方，而是懂得發展個人的長處和價值(Strengths & Virtues)，建立正面的情緒、滿足感和人生意義。由此出發，假若我們懂得諒解和接受自己/他人的不足之處(Forgiveness & Mercy)，以幽默感和嬉笑的心情(Humor & Playfulness)看待人和事的輕快面，對未來常存一份希望和信念(Hope & Optimism)，那麼即使遇上逆境，也能縱容面對，享受箇中的經驗和結果。

i think i hv these and i thank God for giving me these.

thankful everyday.

ch.170 Anything Goes

What i did today...
1. church
speaker- dennis ng. my first impression was that, wow, wht a loud and emotional speaker! he's in his 40s and the way he preached made me feel like i m in a black church. haha.. he's alrite. telling us to focus on the lost. hey, i do pray for that but how to apply. i think he shd also talk about application. i thougth about francis and samuele when he talked about that. dear Lord, what shd i do? please teach me. i just keep praying for them.

2. Bible study
Read Mat ch.1 today. about the genealogy of jesus. at first, i was bored. didn't wanna read allt he naems but at the end, i found it more interesting. i was surprised that i acatully foudn it interesting. Who is who's father, why only 5 women were named, why included the gentiles and women and slave.. different names in luke but in the same line.. pretty interesting. Thanks pauline for her preparation.

3. Exercise
jogged again today at the Tai Hung East Field. It's great. Eventho i only jog for 15 mins, i felt gd already. exercising is great. i love it when i could feel my upper body moving. saw the "flying saucer" ppl again.. n i almost got hit by a soccer ball again today! it's great to live close over there.

4. Night out with the aunts and uncles
dinner at Hutchison House, the chiu chow restaurant. The food was alrite.. not THAT amazing. The bread with portguese sauce.. it was alirte... not that intriguing. anyway, the Show was better than i thought> Anything Goes< i duno how that related to the plot tho. haha.. but it's super funny to watch the fat gal doing tap dancing. haha.. christine sang welll but not too much singing tho. I shd get a hobby of mine n really do it. life is so much more than what i m seeing now. After the dinner, wentot patterson street for dessert via the "ding ding". felt great doing these things with the fam, n it's actually fun to hang iwth them. hanging with the older ppl r great. i love.

5. chatting online wiht Ms. C
funny to talk to her again. chagning job again, wht a surprise. haha. talking to her reminded me of T. she's part of that periof of memories. i m still letting go slowly...


O, aunt said that my life is very yuppie.ahha. really? n she said it'll be hard for me to get married if i continue to hv this life style. haha... argh. what i m doing is waht i like and i dun prefer to go out at nite for crazy drinks and k anymore, it's not worth the time n money and it's not that fun.

ch.169 layers

i jogged today. 9 laps, i think. it was pretty good.. when i jogged, i looked around me and looked up the sky.. n that made me felt more powerful and i just kept running and running. there was a tree at the field and today, lots of birds were on it and making loud voices. there r so many trees in the field but the birds only gathered at that one. it was pretty amazing. i taped it. The voices the birds were making were bizarrd. there was a lady doing her "hey gong" just next to the tree and the picture was like 2 ppl.. 1 = the lady , 1 = the tree.. standing together, doing their parts in the environement. thigns look bizarrd but everything harmonized. the branches of the n the birds were like the head of a person and then i thought, there r so many trees there n if each of them is a perosn, everyone of that got a special character and it's quite stunning. i taped over it, wiith the birds making noises and the trees, weird but harmonized.


as i ran, i figured.... life is just layers of layers of layers of different thigns. over the light pole, there's langham place, n when i turned to tan other angle, eventho it's the same thing, it looks different n we could start antoher layer from there. i m thinking.. that's life. life is about layers of layers. u borned as a blank piece of paper and as u live each day, layers have been added to your life. there's no gd and bad about it but things added up as layers. the layers are not 2-D only, when u turnto another angel, the thing that u thougth u percieved.. could turned out to be totally different. and when u look up , it's another picutre. we are living in this 3D world and there are so, so, so so so sososo many ways that u can view our world. When one layer is added, in your usual perception, it might be bad, but when u look up, it's soemthign that u dun expect and it's all good. The ppl that i met, especially meaning the sh crew, r they gd companians.. i duno. but i gotta see the few pages of the magazine that will be published soon and they are all so talented! meeting them are inspiraring. the little things that they let u know, it's eye opening already. i m so happy to see what s+e sent me today. i know he and francise worked so hard on the pic. it was his dream! the visual impact of the image was awesome! and francis did a great job on it! caught the moment and created the momentum of what is to be captured. luxury at war but maintained their luxurious character. AMAZING! go s+e! go cliff hanger! They are one of my layers and it's great to have this layer. Now i hv to see what to do with this layer.. or may be.. what's next.


i've moved to destination today. Timas helped and i m thankful. he's alrite. A person who got no baggages and dare to any changes. it was funny to see his face turning red after hving the green papaya salad. didn't know he couldn't eat spicy.

went ot the wine cellar today and talked to the lady boss. it was pretty cool. Bought an australian merlot and a french medoc. it was good. drinking the merlot right now and it tasted alot better when it's aried for an hour. o. i love the tipsy feeling.. seems like i could express more freely. i rmemebered s+e once said that too.. it's gd to be tipsy in life..

pat and jac went ot bkg today. it's great to hv them as my brother n sis in law. i love them and i want to hv a better relationship with jacquie. She's hving "snake" on her inner thigh and i'll pray for her.

man, it's so tough to be a Chrisitian.. Lord pls help me! i shd take all the action n concentrate on my work! Lord, u r treating me good, n i shd be grateful. :)

ch.168 getting back online

got francis to help fixed the computer for me.. n it was fixed by just pressing the on/off switch. ai.. woman... haha. it'sfunny how woman just got no clue with fixing things.

after fixing the comptuer, francis wanna check out my living environment and then when he was in my "ironing room", we saw a couple making out.. n we peeked. haha..

suddenly feel so mo loi in life.. i shd be hapyp with what i hv and enjo wht i hv. i feel stupid at times and i wanna spend my time more wisely. i wanna accomplish something.. i needa acommplish somethigns in my life..

i bought the painting tools from gz yesterday and yes i'll be starting the painting work. and i played with the keyboard for 3 songs.. 2 for T, 1 for s+e.

sometimes, just feel like.. what the hell m i doing here on earth? my days on earth.. i wanna make it more meaningful.

ch.167 blah

so tired today. didn't do much but just the mobile art at star ferry. it was qutie gd.

sigh. my days before 30.. i needa get more done. i guess i miss t becoz i was used to the days before. i really needa head up and find ways to enjoy my life.

argh.. pls help me Lord. the temptations are so crazy.. i dun wanna fall and i know fearign You is the best solution.

ch.166 2x2x2x798x12x290208

had 2 stella with the 2 for 2 hrs in the 2nd month in the afternoon n ate till 3pm.

hving major headche right now.. not gonna go out for drink or anything.. planned to stay home n sleep but ended up coudln't sleep n just finsihing my bailey haggandazzz...

finally saw pic of his kid n wife. F purposely said things infront of me n him. defintely. he defintely doesn't want anything to happened. definitely.

gald to see him again tho. beijing again? train? tibet? all are gd ideas. i wanan go. it's not about anything but i jsut wanna go.

as for work, after the MJ proposal.. which i basically did it on my own.. everyone is pleased with my work. everyone said i had improved. nice nice nice. i m enjoying it all these.. will hv thhe big presentation next tues.. crossing my fingers n practicing as well.

going to the chanel mobile art with my dearest bro n ar so tmmr. lam dog with them last nite n mr F. i think i've been seeing him too much.. i needa break from him. haha.. but he's alrite. complicated yet simple.. simple when he's with me but complicated when he's with s+e.

ch.165 working hard

working hard working hard workign hard working hard working hard.

consequences of working hard...
1 big eye, 1 small eye. super double eye lid.. amazing.
my left arm was soo tired when i was working off my ppt tonite at 8pm.
super dirty hair. hahaha
weight lost (YES!)

tired...

ch.164 post-cny@ gz

today was the first day local chinamen coming back to GZ to work. i m fortunate enough to witness such "movement" at the GZ East station. i arrived at GZ today at 120pm and the station was packed. Another train from inner china arrived and ppl with cases are also walking out from their exit. Lots of ppl but the crowd was not in a chaos but discipline was shown. It was qutie amazing as i was fighting my way towards the taxi stand, i expected to have at least took me 5 minutes to pass the crowd and some bumping. however, nothing happened and i was at the taxi stand in a smooth 3 minutes walk. may be it was my awesome running around skill but yah, it wasn't too much of a hastle at all. Waited for awhile at the taxi stand and things were in line and not too much a chaos as reported on the news.

I finally had time to think n write down my plan for gz office and my mind map during my way to GZ. i also talked to Bec about my ideas and how she could help and share our comments and expectation for the GZ office. this trip was better than those before as i m finally taking control and the initative for the managment role. Sharing ideas with passion with my fellow workers felt great. The briefing session was alrite but i must win. No way to lose and i'll put 100% effort on this pitching. The other two agencies were not 4As but both seem smart. I hope our previous meeting with Calvin would helped us to work out our ideas better. However, the execution plan must also be well planned as lack of labour is our disadvantages at this stage.

Reading that book is also one surprise of the day as i have already finished 3 chapters and i m so attracted to the content that i think i'll finish it fast. Good that i m finishing a book that fast. ha. this feeling reminded me of my primary school years in hk as i remmeber i could finished a book in 3 days. Thx to my mom. i shd pick up this habit asap.

Will be meeting the FPers this wednesday night. A reunion! i feel like i shd go cut my hair n go run before the gathering. haven't seen them for ages and i will certainly enjoyed the night with the guys and ladies.

ch.163 sunday dinner

Chez Jan - Sunday dinner

Fresh lettuce with tuna in japenese saseme salad dressing
Braised chicken with shark's bone, abalone and sea snail
Cheese bun x 1
Red grapes
Bailey flavour, Haggan-dazz
Melot, Yellow tail (this wasn't that good)

soo good. :)

ch.162 The 2 C9s @ the lounge

had a fun night with francis last night. had good jap curry rice, i was suddenly very fond of that, duno y. but it was great.

so went to the lounge at langham afterwards, those 2 are still there singing and playing. however, didn't pay too much attention to them tho.

jen n how joined as well and i'd love them to meet francis coz it's great to mix friends up.

so F n I were just hanging, talking, laughing and drinking. the 2 reds that we ordered were great,esp. the second one. it was a shiraz from australia, got very strong taste and smooth. how said the oak taste was pretty strong, but i can't taste that. haha. anyway, started talking about boiling soup, it was funny to talk to him as we r getting serious. haha. and that guy can cook. ishd serisouly consider to buy a electric plate to cook soup. haha..

anyway, it was a nice night. fun and light. tipsy and lots of laughters.

ch.161 pre-vday

when it comes to vday, i always remember T as we had our first date on vday and started 5 days later.
i enjoyed it alot coz it was very romantic and i was claimed to be the romantic type.
but i guess start so fast w/o knowing too well.. not a gd start.

talkign to S+E now, HE IS FULFILLING HIS DREAM AS A CD FOR A MAG. wht is my dream? how do i fulfill it.
talked to ASA, he's one inspiration for me, n i'll work hard on my gz opportunity. ppl dun get it often and asa said it's harder to get chances like that when we get older.

argh..
wht the hell m i doing. flirting non stop with s+e about vday. sigh. why. pray pray pray. gd that he won't be here tmmr, back to sh. go go go go go. pls go.

Ch.160 chet, pls dun dance

$420.
Star Hall, Kln Bay.
cold cold night.
chet dancing. pls dun confuse yourself with dancing queen, coz u r defintiely not one. just dun dance and sing. also, fast songs are not good for u. simply not you. just forget it.
not enuf slow songs. how come didn't say "paris in your eyes"? I love that song! argh!
kay tse singing "mut kit gwor"... soooo gd. man, that's like my theme song for now.

i m fallin.. soup.. ya... soup is good.. come n hv some soup. come and we'll... hv soup.

ch.159 back from CNY

got the computer back from my lovely bro.

cny holiday, the four days long wknd, is finally finished. will be heading to work tmmr. had a full pack family wknd. it was alrite. spent the first 2 days with the whole fam, n then dad, grandma n last with my bro. it's cool. i enjyoed it. spending time with family si something that i wanted and so i decided to hang with them instead wth my friends. but i did went hiking n cooked lo bak go with mir. ha.

my family is a funny bunch. can't live with them but can't live without them (hmm.. ) love /hate situation.. i wonder if it's the same to other family. we have our problemsss. and it's not funny and simple but we still sit together for a family meal every sunday. everyone is so different, all hv outstanding personalities that will make a great drama. yet, i guess life is a drama afterall and i m not named drama queen for no reason. ha. anyway, it's amazing to be part of this family. they all love me dearly, i love them dearly too but hate is also part of the formulation between us. agh. life is getting shorter n we r getting older and things r getting more complicated. i m glad me n my bro r still very cool with each other. we care and we r frank with each other. nothing beats that. i'd do anyhting for my bro and now for my sis-in-law as well.

oh, n i found that i m a real gd listener. lots of ppl need to hv someone to listen to, n i love to be that person. i just love to listen n help the ppl to release themselve n be a better person. doi fell in love wiht them, not really. someone asked if i would fell in love iwht someone that is so out of my idea mate, both in appearance and personalty, but share the same value. i said if we hv the 'feeling", sure, why not. it's funny to hv asked a question liek that.. now i dun wanna think too much about that person who asked me.

anyway, it's time to sleep. dun wanna be late tmmr. gosh. n i m enjoying my life. o, someone also mentioned that i m enjoying my life... n that i agreed. God is gd to me.

ch.158 work work work

work work work... i think i've spent less time on FB these days. haha. stopped procrastinating on FB but doing actual work.

how nice to work hard. workin hard to earn measurable money is great. however, if the money and workload is not balance n the company can't promise me anything or just promise me on things that i can't really see. hmm.. may be i shd start thinking for myself more and go look for another challenge. What to do god? pls guide me. I needa find my way out on this. Or keep me content with my work.

going to GZ tmmr again taking the train at 730am. gosh. gd experience that i can brag about later on in life. hopefully will have no trouble at GZ tmmr as the train stations will packed with people who couldn't go home due to the terrible weather. ppl in MJ seems to like working with me. i m gd at my job!

can't communicate with lots of ppl lately. love to communicate withe doc sam tho. haha. and patrick seem to be a better person these days. God is helping me with my work for sure as i pray more, the better i m. but i m gonna seek for direction from him for my career. pls let me know where and what to do. i m definitely on Your call.

shanghai sounds like a gd idea. but will there be any opportunity at all? going to sh doesn't mean throwing myself into the fire... eventho s+e is there and i'd love to spend time with him. haha. he'd be a cool frd and i do hv frds at sh now and all of them are offering places for me to stay! man, i m doing pretty gd as a person, i guess. haha. cheers!

Ch.157 waiting

waiting to go off work.... can't believe the ppl booked dai bin lo at 9pm!! MY GOSH! gum gar....
hungry.
...
...

gotta pray for doc sam's dad. He got serious duodenum problems and hv to be hospitalized now.

HKEJ... s+e got this awesome chance to work as a CD as the fashion journal. so happy for him! duno y. just very very happy for him wor. haha.

sor lor fan shu called and asked me to tell him places to eat at cwb.. lolz..

it's very fun to talk to these 2.

ch.156 good food

went to hv dinner with elaine and angie tonite at a shanghai restaurant. O.. super gd food. i have always love sh food and we had just the right proportion and what a great night to enjoy good food. I m a easily content person. I m happy when i have good food.

the stock market dropped alot today and most likely will drop more later. talked to s+e about that and that guy is against ppl who buy stock with the purpose of gaining easy money. i agree with his theory gair. haha. anyway, yes, still talking to him and i have never initiated any conversation la.. always him. may be, may be will go to tibet together. duno. well, francis is interesting to go as well. have spent so much money lately and i need to stop spedning so much. stop eating out and start cooking. Elaine had given me some easy to cook receipes today. i will start cooking on my own.. real food as in just water boiled brocoli. haha.

goign to gz tmmr and i m getting my passion back. really wanna make things work out and i will try my best to do so. gotta pray for wisdom and courage and persisitency for this decision.

started jogging last wknd and i love the feeling afterwards. feel very good after sweating.

i think i have reallly let go of the past relationship now. things arenew and i m lookin forward for all the great challenges. i m so glad i got good frds. jovi is really a cool bro. haha.

ch.155 88

88 to high hand. dun wanna waste time on bad guy.

ch.154 Post-BJ

BJ was good. very cold but i love it. love walking in the cold with the feeling of being in a dream. my eye sights were blurry and the things infront of me were unreal. ancient temple in the down town area, next to the newly built national theatre. taxi driver talking about culture value and standing next to a 10 times bigger sculputre head. having lamb hot pot with s+e and walking in the cold with him. unreal.

interesting guy, we r interested in each other for sure but i like him more than he likes me. life is funny. why m i always involved in complicated relationships? i m just thinking too much acatully.

Tommy is back to the states, hving his new life. and i hv pretty much moved on. being single is good for my career. i shd lolic and work hard for my gz opportunity and hopefully, cross my finger, gotta work in shanghai.

talking to edwin was nice. he's a very interesting old man. fully confidence, powerful and ppl r scared of him eventho he has a great personality. spening his time in france hving his own wine bar and enjoying his life.

watched quite alot of movies these days, love "the blueberry night". watched "the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" again and finally felt the story and love it. "reign over me" was a surprise, didn't expect adam sandler to be such a gd actor. the story was moving too, "can't they see the guy was just heart broken?".. argh.. love is a funny thing, it can torture you and make you happy in a change of 1 sec.

read quite some bks as well. Just finsiehd "The present" tonight, looking forward to finish "The accidental masterpiece" and "Jackie pullinger". Nicely content and make me think alot more. Reading is definitely something that i'll keep up. Have missed too much when i was with T. i'll learn from the Past and enjoy the Present and create my Future. :) I'll start the book club with jen. love to share thinking with frds.

had a great dinner with doc. sam tonight. enjoy his presence alot. very comfortable talking to him. too bad i'll be moving to destination soon.. will miss him.

ch.153 cycle

a family cycle? GAH.

i like the feeling.

ch.152 luvin' blueberry

watched the movie with how last night. missed the beginning of the movie but man, i enjoyed the movie so much. i was so into the movie. the slow motion showing the reaction of the actors, the director really got it. wht i experienced made me fell in love with the movie. watching it with how was gd too, we both understand the story so well coz our experience definitely helped. sigh.

how do ppl remember me? jude remember nora as a gal who loves the blueberry pie... i wonder how would he remember me as? yes, it's abit cheesy but i fell for that. ha.

talked to my boss about Christianity again today. learning how to praise in bad times is really hard.

i figured i got a lot of opportunities to talk to ppl about God these days. it's amazing. God listen to prayer.

ch.151 i need prayers

hmm.. just found out things about s+e.

had a great talk with francis tho. talked to him about his 1st love and their re-match. haha. it was cool. gotta be closer with him. haha. feel gd talking to him. coz he's a nice guy. nice and simple.

argh.. y m i always drawn to bad guys. o gosh. i dun wanna repeat fyn's style.

ch.150 1st day of 08

drunk, taxi home and dun remmeber wht time it was. puked on the taxi and i am so not gonna do this again.

woke up by dad's call (shd be me calling him .. aiya.. ) and then had lunch with grandma and chris chris at royal garden. It was good. Chris told me how to cook pasta, his tips from learning from chef of sabatini. very nice. I'll try that. then walked around tst with grandma. love hanging out with her. she's the best. i m gald she could walk for so long as well, next time i'll bring her to have chai chan tang's milk tea and bubble tea. she's so cool.

arrived at statue square at around 6pm. it was my first time to stay there for so long.. usually just pass by that place in a rush. today it looks great, with all the lights on (those on thebuidlings) and then sitting down and looking up, it was magnificent. the worship lead by EEC worship team was great. worship is something that i need to bring more friends to, must share this experience with them.

wasn't too happy these days, when i sang "you give and take away, u give and take away, my heart is to say, blessed be your name" yes lord, u give and take away, w/ reasons that i dun understand. i m learning to praise you thru the give n take. praise u thru gd and bad. this is wht i need to do from 08 and tell my frds about it.

blessed to be able togo back to grandma's place for dinner. it was just instant noodles with left overs but the love was more than anything. watched the tvb drama with her was fun.

found that my eye sight became not clear after leaving grandma's home. everythign all of a sudden became fussier. hmm.. i'll go see an eye doc later for professional consultation.

called mom earlier today, but only left a msg. shd call her again later.

o, n i got a new GATE!! nice job! :)

ch.149 blessed

my bro and ar so just gave me a nice tea set. i got what i wanted when i wanted it. i feel so blessed. yes, it's a small thing but i got satisfy easily and i just feel so good about this.

had a great dinner with family also. i cherrish my time with my family. I am reading the book "90 minutes in Heaven", again, it reminded me how blessed my life is and i am. I m a healthy individual, got enough of what i needed and have a lovely family. God is good to me. and i shd look forward to my days in heaven as there will only be happiness and peacefulness up there. This makes me even treausre my days on earth more, no matter good or bad, suffer or happiness, i'm gonna enjoy the full process. This is God's gift to me and i'll love the way it is.

3 more days till T's wedding. this is tough. and the closer the day is, the more i miss s+e. J and I both hv distance problem.

gosh.

ch.148 spaso + yuen wah

had a great lunch with bez at spaso. the place was out of my expectation, it was great! the appetizer buffet.. mm.. mm.. mm... so yum. the cheese, the meat, the mushroom.. yum yum yum. each of us had 2 dishes and it was just so good. the weather is abit cold today but they got the outdoor fireplace pole so everything was just perfect. We had a great chat and we were there for i duno how long.. what a great day.

then just went shopping with the wife-to-be and she enjoyed the shopping so much that she put on her new boots immediately. haha. just like me.

n i finally got to yuen wah to get the china tea set! i looked for so long and finally made up my mind on this one that got one bkgd with snow beach and tranches. just like the snow peach i saw at lijiang. :) It's great and i m enjoying the tea i got from taipei right now.

hving my cup of chinese tea at my home, watching a movie / reading the book... wht a gd life.

cheers :)

ch.147 bronchitis

hv been coughing alot the past 2 days.
this morning, i've lost my voice.
finally gotta see the doc at 5pm today and i m told to hv bronchitis. argh.
still coughing alot.

didn't go to work today but went ot visit my lovely grandma instead. i love her so much.

waiting for ms. jen to come over. just boiled my first hung-joe-kwai-yuen water... not too bad. but hv room for improvement. hehe.. well, it's gd tho! hehe. so proud of myself. :P

ch.146 xmas 07

21st
4pm - 4am: wil's wedding banquet: MC with the ego papa. the wedding went well n the after party was super fun! haha..

22nd
9:30am - 1pm: @ the airport, waiting to go to taipei! i stupidly mixed up the time and everyone went there super early like at 930am and then slept at cafe de coral. haha..
1pm - 230am: arrived taipei and settled the hotel and finally went out at 6pm. STARVING and went to sai-mun-ding and enjoyed the food sooo much. went to the 24hrs bkstore till 230am... super tired but it was fun sitting on the stairs and talking to agnes and reading the gals bk. haha

23rd
10am- 230am:had breakfast at "Hi-life" and enjoyed the mao kong gondola with ms. agnes and of coz the tea and the talk and the environment and also the rain with ms. agnes. went to dam-sui and fisherman's wharf with all gals and ate alot at the night market again. love the fried mushrooms. yum. n the ice.. sooo god. n then went to the lounge with curry and ms. agnes and i designed to order fried rice withbeef. haha while having our cosmoplitan. haha.. but of coz, had peanuts instead coz it was like 1am already.

24th
1030am - 7pm: went to 101 and got attracted to the dessert place n actually sat down for 2 of the lovely desserts while we didn't really hv that much time. shop shop shop and eat eat eat. n then enjoyed the mercedes ride to the airport and the movie "Death at a funeral" on the eva plane. it was a funny movie, highly recommend. O, also saw the moon at eye level. so amazing!
11pm - 3am: went to LKF with my gfs tai and benny and also miranda. hehe.. mrs. tai and big ben are my close gfs. and i enjoyed talking to them.. but so damn tired n so went home.

25th
2pm woke up
2 pm - 5pm: home cleaning and unpacking and talked online with s+e :P and ... also met with T. same place. he gave me a gift. everythign went peacfully... a bird shit dropped on his jeans at the end. lolz.. sigh. i'll miss him. it's not easy.
6pm - 11pm: church christmas dinner and celebration. all my family went and also fey fey and ms. jackie. it was definitely a discovery nite for jackoe to me. lol. she met all my family members and even my boss. gosh! the church dinner was great. my bro was the mc. and then mime and the sharing was very heartly. Very good job! God bless. met wiht ms. janet ling as well.. like this gal.
12am - 2am: live jazz @ langham hotel with auntie julie, uncle tim, ms jackie w and fey fey. the same old canadian couple oliver and monique, with the pianist leni. witnessed a bday + proposal at the lounge within the service group. touching. and lovely music.
fey fey stayed over at my place.

26th
12pm: woke up
12 - 2pm: washed the lettuce, boiled coffee, cut the apple and talked to fey fey. and took a shower and get ready to go out.
2pm - 4pm: @ shatin "Fish & Co" at the alfresco style patio with the IFCers. very comfy environment and the weather was so nice also. had penne in tomato sauce but the dish was cold. only the grilled salmon was considered hot. the coffe was ok tho.
4pm - 545pm: RUSH shopping at citysuper for xmas gifts. soooooo rush.
630pm - 11pm: @ kwai fong maxim restaurant with family. grandma's church function. it was actually pretty nice. i miss my brother alot. he is so much fun. and i miss my cousin as well.. they r really so important to me. had a great time with the family again. amazing.
11pm - 1am: watched nanking slaughter with fey fey. when watching how the ppl recalled the memories and some of their footage.. it was just heart broken. n then i felt.. my life is so blessed. and so i m glad that i told T that i've forgave him and i'll keep prayin for him and his family.

ch.145 s+e

had a great talk with him today. seems like i've known him for ages. n it was in depth talking as well. he told me about his childhood, his past, his thoughts... the conversation was just great. duno why he told me all that but the conversation all started with the book that we both read or i m reading.. the "accidental masterpiece".

i m just 1/3 way through the bk n it's written by an art critic that talks about the art pieces in light hearted style. We have to take the best of things, even everything is routine. Observing is different from knowing, which is so true. i always say i like to look at ppl but wht the f i know about ppl. well, the WY project really gave me some inspirational and in depth understanding of ppl. Knowing Gallant is also one interesting experience. knowing s+e, mr. F, mr. R and ms. J and of coz ms. K are defintiely one great experience as well. they r elements of my masterpiece and we all met accidentally. Well, i guess knowing God made me understand that everything is planned by God and nothing is accidental. We of coz have the right to choose right and wrong but everything's in God's plan already.

too bad he's so far.

Ch.144 grandma

i really love my grandma. she's not the typical grandma. yes, she has her grandma thing but her modern thinking just out weighted all other things. i love to hang out with her, i love to hug her, i love to talk to her. She's such a smart woman. And her stories are always interesting. She loves the outdoor. i shd really learn from her and be like her.

Tmmr's wil's wedding. just bought the dress today. ha. very last minute and very me.

o.. i think i still L T. o gosh. pls help me lord.

ch.143 camila

today's camila's baptism. i was touched when i saw her. i cried. it was amazing to see how God has worked on His time on ppl that i gave up. This is truly amazing as Camila was telling me how she wanted her parents to belive also. God is truly one amazing God. He really got His team of angels around. After tonite, i think i've really need to let go and forgive about Tommy. I still keep praying for him and his family as i beleive that God has His time and plan. I really wanna emial T about what'sin my mind. I also wanna bring jasmine, samuele and the rest of the ppl that i know whom doesn'tknowGod yet to church. Lord, pls guide and teach me how to do so. Francis and Ken shdbe a gd chocie. Acatulyl jasmine as well but she's too self protective. Lord, pls teach me wht and how to do it. This is such a big challenge.


had a gd time with Tai and Benny tonite. Those 2 r really my gd gd old frds. can talked about anything and everyhting. argh.. what a gd relationship my Lord has prepared for me. I keep them in my prayersas well.


life is too short, i think i shd realyl emial T about what i think. I keep praying for him and his family..just want him to know that God is still in his life and with him.


Dear Lord, pls help me and guard me. I want S+e and francis to know more about you as well, pls teach me.

ch.142 30th bday

today is howard's 30th bday. went to La Marron with him. had fa grais, rabbit meat, wild mushroom rissotto, mussels in white wine sauce, bread!!, soffle, apple crumble, mushroom soup, escargot... all are good food! pretty happy nite.

2nd round went with FYN, my lovely fyn, and deb.. it was so back to the old days... old times, gd times.

wil's getting married this sunday.. man, o man... remember the old days when he was with deb.. c'est la vie.

T is going back to the states. still praying for him and his family.

Hopefuly i'll see S+E next week... God, pls guide me.

c'est la vie. c'est la vie.

ch.141 bad day bad day

it's only wednesday...

argh.. the ladies..

n my stupid mistakes.. argh..

ch.140 Philip

had our 2nd singing practice for wil's wedding. Philip came tonight. i m so glad he came coz he really pointed out wht's wrong and helped us improved. Met his daughter, Abby, as well. very nice fingers.. 2 yrs old but only weight 18lbs. very nice to meet Philip. very nice. Wish i could have met him earlier.

ch. 139 2 weeks of EQ camp

finally back.
got some quotes from the ppl i worked with.

no light no shadow no photo. Sandy
Men r like onions, u cry as u pill each layers off, and at then end, u realized they got no hearts. Yoyo
mo sai jor. Yoyo
dun argue with me, i know exactly what i m talking about. LC
release your soul, release your mind. Ringo (when taking pic)
ngor ho happy ar. Elaine after drunk
i know exactly what i m doing. Jas
Change location. LC (when it's 11:30pm for tmmr's 9am shot)
me and her 8 che ng gap. Fan-shyu
me n u r the same type of ppl. Sandy
Dai suk how Q farn. Elaine
ng ho sit bei kuen. Sofie
da fun gong jair. paparazzi

ch.138 高手

"don't play with 高手." Sum, before the SH trip.

ch.137 grappa + espresso

hmm.. this is great! hung out with my aunt and uncle and had a great time. 2 bottles of red + 1 glass of grappa + espresso (So damn good!) + numberous plates of chips & olives.. n of coz the live jazz.. what a great night!

this is realyl gd. n i gott asay, man, first time hanging out wiht my aunt and uncle nad it's really great. i do miss th bastard sometimes but i tend to think of someone else later.

argh. god, i need your guidiance..

s+e is something cool.

ch.136 bride's maid

finally, amy's wedding is over. being the bride's maid.. man, i think ppl shd get pay doing that. it's so much work and slave girl not only for the bride but for the bride's sister and mom for the whole nite! but then, i guess it's all worth it.. can't beleive amy still got the letters we mailed to each other when 15 years ago.. i still hv them too. this is so good.

i tend to like guys who r honest. honest to admit that he's a bad guy, at least. ha. no more shocking unexpected incidents, which is good. feel good talking to s+e. can't wait to go to sh. we'll see.

ch.135 yellow tail

had another yellow tail tontie with mr. tai. it was great. love drinking red these days. just can't stop. not alcoholic tho, just like the tipsy feeling. had a great timewith him and my gosh, the "pasta" and "soup" thing.. so damn similar. i guess i m not that unquie after all.haha.. just glad to came out with him tontie.

stil tipsy at this moment. gonna sleep soon.

yay. no work tmmr.. just gonna enjoy amy's wedding nite!

i do miss samuele. but duno wht's His plan.

ch. 134 oh

amy's wedidng was great but tiring tho. my 3 inches highheel killed me n i m glad the day ended at 4:30pm. Friday is the 2nd round and should be tiring as well..
man, this week is so tiring.. just woke up early every single day, my gosh. tmmr gotta take the 730am train, hopefully my boss won't talk to me so that i could sleep on the way.
ppl said there is somethign going on but i m telling myself there's not too much. dun hv high hopes. I m just gonna enjoy what i hv at this moment right now and see wht's gonna happen in the sh trip.

i m starting to enjoy what i m hving.. finally.. enjoy the food.. lately fell in love with red wine, blue cheese and bread. enjoy the music, love the jazz.. the art.. still klimt, erotic and elegant, how great it is. .. enjoying my job, to finally enjoy the work.. one gotta love wht one does in order to excel in it.

pray that my enjoyment in life persist... n of coz i m thankful. thanks G.

n yah.. "oh".. wht's with that! lolz..

ch. 133 ctrl C & ctrl V

went to this event tonite with jen at innocentre... it's funny how ppl could hv thought of somethign like this. battle between digi. drawings. lolz. if the quality of hte contestants were better, the show would be better.. n damn, the judges suck! "hmm.. very efficient", "very good", "very fast", "very close".. shame on u guys!

anyway, so went to work till 4 today.. coz dind't do jack on friday!! haha.. was msging with mr. S the whole day. i think we connected but i still duno this person too well. i m more cautious now. but it was cool to get to know him more as we got quite alot to say and share similar thinking.

tmmr's amy's wedding.. shoot, i gotta sleep,it's gonna be a long day.

ch.131 HH with R,S &K

had a loooooong meeting today.. well, but started an hour late coz the ppl just got NO self dicipline at all.
anyway, so hung out with Mr. S, Mr. R and Mr. K at this pub at wanchai. pretty nice. finished a bottle of red and had some delicious potato skin. i love hanging out with them, filled with all my self confidence when i m with them.

n mr.S msg me. ha. interesting.

had a great nite with dr.wong as well. so much fun. totally brought our childhood back tonite. gd to keep in touch with her.

ch.130 nite at the press

love the blue cheese. how it melted in my mouth, having it inside my mouth just made life became more beautiful. how great it is to be able to enjoy such delicious food. the goat chees was not bad neither, permasean was alrite... the other one, the soft cheese, it's pretty nice as well. fruity and very rich in flavour, not bad not bad. It was just some good food to enjoy, n of coz with some great companies as well.

Enjoyed working with the ppl, professional yet knows how to enjoy life. isn't that how life shd be?! Ms.J became so offensive tonight, she's such a prideful person, try to be strong but longing for someone to depend on. easy to handle. Mr. R is someone that has very high eq. the way he handled ms. J, skillfully let ms. J to express her feeling and lead her to say it by herself the way he wanted it. what a great lesson. and finally, mr. K, lolz, this guy, i just love him. love hanging out with him. fun to be with and good to work with.

my doc mr. S, he's cool as well. really miss the days we hung out n chit chat.

hmm.. feeling so fat as well... but it's all worth it! :P

ch. 128 nice stories

went to gz today, brought my kid there to check out GZ. it was his first time there and he figures it's not very "china" to wht he pictured.

spent the whole day with him and gotta know him more in depth. very interesting stories from him. stories from the days when he was working in Dragun air. all the stories about crazy bj guys, rude rich men, and gang fights on the plane.. very interesting. n then stories about his family and the family restaurant. the stories of his reckless youth life..

he's only 23 but very nice to talk to him coz wht he experienced was more than lots who are 28.

well, i figured... i m not really the drama queen. haha.

ch.127 the fall of icarus

the fall of icarus,
no one cares when he's begging for his life.
just no one cares.

dun be like this..

still got tears for u. shit..... pls go back n be gd.




eason's concert was gd. the stage design, the lights and the clothes.. unexpectedly beautiful.

ch.126 A Sunday

was thinking alot of things during sermon today.. the sermon is called "Hold On"... about us holding on to the Lord.

there are pretty much 2 pathways in my life and lately, the temptation to another one is increasing. struggling but i shd know what is right. living in righteousness n in G's way needs lots of faith and perseverance. I m glad to have support from my frds and church fellowship ppl. just hanging out with them is gd support already.

G always give me wht i needed to hear when i needed it. how amazing is that.

did alot today. FINALLY get my nails done!!! the fake ones are really annoying and I LOVE my natural nails right now.. the lady at garden st is pretty gd, got it done in 15 mins and even gave me a manicure... of coz have to pay but it's worth it. finally bought my iron board.hhaa.. n went shopping today efficiently. got wht i needed. later on will really start to clean up my biggest room and made it become my study or to practice my keyboard or may be make it become a book corner.. Not gonna rent it outcoz living alone is damn good. haha.

O, n the "before sunset" movie is actaully quite gd. i found the conversation to be very real and kinda reminded me of my own experience. went to serach for "b4 sunrise" but got no luck~

ch.125 nite in the office

still sitting inside my cubicle.

i think i shd move. was supposed to go to gz with u but now figured u r not going but i m going instead. ha. u r heading back to the states.

what happened after you was really interesting. life seems to be more fun. at times, still think about u.. see if we'll meet on the street but time is not right.

met a lot of new friends w/in these 3 months and my case is not that bad comparatively... i m still good.

still pray for u and your family n your friends.

ch.124 shanghaiii cheers

things that happened:

ms.chu + cool weather + sandy + cigar + jazz + red x 2 + ringo + jasmine + somerset + samuele + babyface + citizen + kiss + benz + congee + timefish + no.1dinner + the house + spa + pool + tea house + anders + 5am + tmsk + daughter + chinese blue + talk at airport with sandy + shiraz + merlot + carbernet + villa du lac + sweet bitter melon + ride back home + happy ringo + methol + peter wong + david wu!!

ch.123 back

got back from yunnan. brother's wedding this friday. my new assistant came. i moved into a cubicle.

with all these things.... and others.... i shd be v happy but i feel like my heart has hardened.

pls pray for me.

ch.122 5am

talked til 5am that day...
was it wrong?
it was sad.
gotta keep praying for u.
gotta keep praying for u.

ch. 121 FFSH

FFSH stands for Fuck Face Shit Head.

by the double J with inspriation from L & the 2 FFSH.

ch.120 gzzzz...

been there for 3 days & 2 nites for the exhibition.

finally.. a wknd at gz..... but it was too late. was i supposed to be there with you.. was i supposed to take more days off for u... it wasn't that great a feeling when i was there.... being there... made methink about u. i know this is not good. not good at all.. n i've been telling myself u r not worth it... n u r not what i want.. n u r not mine anymore... u dun care anymore.. why shd i care.

why is it so tough lord? why having me to go thru this? when i thought i m ok.. this sudden memory just popped up in my mind and drained me back into the endless black hole of pain and emptiness.. as if i just got shot again.. on the same wound just got healed.. the blood kept swamming out... little by little.. drop by drop... just to keep the wound unhealed.. n the heavy feeling within me.. stayed within me... laughter is jsut to hide my deep down sadness.. as i needed that to keep myself lifted up.

pls let me go through this faster Lord.... it's not good..

ch. 119 thankful

thankful for all these..
1. friends to share my feelings with and who are willing to do it vice versa, share feelings with me.
2. jovi, samuel, wil, tai, how, eddie, kau gor, sum, rocky, benny and ar gor. i thank God for all these gd friends.
3. azura, jen, wendy, mir, agnes, janfong, charron, pauline, fyn, karen... amazing girl friends.

talked to rocky and he reminded me of spiritual achievement. what a good reminder. what is my achievement when i turn into 30s and 40s? spritutally, i m so young. mentally,i m still young. but i am gonna do it step by stpe.. and pray to God to help me grow.

thankful for my boss as well, amazing to have him as a boss. can acatully talk about anything and get wise advices.

pray for tommy and his family, for them to let God enters their hearts.

great is thy faithfulness.

ch.118 new things

1. backpacking to yunnan. visiting the 2 places that i've always wanted to go since i was in canada: lijiang and shangrila. CAN"T WAIT!!
2. managing the crazy mofo in gz.... i'd have to say, it's quite challenging... but i can do it.
3. discovering beaches in hk... too bad the air is polluted... but chilling and being lazy under the sun with sea breeze is very good.
4. talking to people whom i don't usually talk to... a whole day world to discover.
5. wanting to get a cat (!!).. yes, a cat... short hair one perferabbly.. coz dun need to clean up too much hair.
6. going for business trip (!!) .. finally.. got business trip to go.. first gz, then sh. shd be fun. it's gd that i can meet more ppl and work with the professional designers in town (man, sandy is so damn hot eventho he's old .. sandy is a man.)
7. having my own cubicle at work... this is gd and bad. it's like a promotion.. but it's also like.. buidling up an invisible wall between ppl whom i eat lunch with..
8. having an assistant (a tall & young kid.. who used to be a air hostess!!) ... all i could say is.. i hope he knows what he's doing and pls make him smarter than me so that i can just get him to do all things for me. haha
9. living on my own... it's good. i like it... very free.. can run around naked. haha..
10. o, getting facial hair off in a very traditional chinese way... quite an interesting experience.. but it costed me so damn much!
11. lookin for quality life style in little things.. i like to add freshly squeezed lemon juice to my water... getting bailey on the rock sometimes...
12. picking up swimming... which is good. i really thank my dad for teaching me when i was young.
13. going to islands for food... ya... won't do it too often tho..
14. speaking more mandarin at work... and apparently ppl DO understand.
15. talking in a softer tone and trying to convince ppl in ways that they can't resist... which is an art i think.. n i m working on it ... n sometmes it works.. sometimes, i gotta yell, still. haha
16. reading the Bible and other books... yes.. been readding whenever i got time when i m on the transportation, which is a very very good habit i figured.... i'm on my 3rd bk now.
17. helping my bro for his wedding... i do cherrish my relationship with my bro.. it's pricelss.. just like american express. lol
18. multi-tasking x 10 times... i m a OA, PA, AE, Des, CW, Sec, lunch buddy... etc.
19. being a wedding banquet MC..... can't wait to meet up wiht my partner.. whom wil said he's so hot. haha
20. breaking up.................... and living and not trashing myself. i thank God for that.

ch.117 gd times with the gals

had a gals gathering with the IFC gals tonite.. it wasn't that bad. haha. didn't have much to talk about in the beginning but after initiating topics, things got heated up and it went pretty well. ppl r juiced up with pauline's wedding preparation. and i finally officially announced the breakup. it wasn't that easy but it's ok. still shaked abit but i m good at controlling my emo. haha.
pray to God we could continue to develop our friendship and bond in Christ.

i gotta keep praying for lorace, hai, chang's family and ppl at work and remind myself that God's in control.

ch.116 at times..

at times.. like now.. i think about what happened.
i shdn't even think why and how it happened because it happened already.

it's gd to know the real side of this fucking guy.
it's gd not to married to him.
it's gd that i know now.

but it takes time for me to heal, i know.. just pray to God that i could be healed sooner.. coz my heart is really broken into millions of pieces... millions and millions... to the endless..

working is a good excuse for me to be busy. swimming is good too.. just wish that i could have more time to do that..

ai.. it's only 2.5 yrs of my 27 yrs... why spent so much time grieving.. shd really pick myself up!

i miss my old days at tor.

ch.115 i got lots of cool friends

God is always good to me.

All my freinds really care for me. I can tell them how i feel and they wil listen carefully to me. my ups and downs are all shared with freinds. Freinds whom i've know for 14 years or even longer, freinds from far away, freinds whom i've met in HK for just a year or so or even freinds of freind (which now became my freind) or my coworkers and even my boss, they r all so good to me.

some listened to me and just hung and sat with me when i needed a company,
some actually spent time with my mom becoz i m not around her,
some spared their home to let me cry it all out and picked me up from the street in 10 mins when i was so lost,
some gave me home appliances when i didn't even ask them to,
some encouraged me with simple words or quotes from powerful speakers,
some prayed with me,
some prayed for me,
some taught me lots of life experience,
some sent me little encouragement gift from far away,
all of them are there for me in all sorts of ways...

i m so blessed with all the freinds i have and i thank God for them.

even my brother and my lovely cousin, they r all so cool and good to me. this is some good life that i am having.

thanks to jen, mir, jacq, deb, bezz, agnes, wil, how, suzzana, da, wendy, charron, janfong, my coolest bro, jacquie, my lovely chris, benny the wise, tai, roy, bin, ga, steph, becca, gloria, shirley, fyn the women, glen the sexy, siuyan, dondon, rach, kitty, samuel my doctor, kaugor, sum the poet n k partner, miss pistol, mabel, miss pauline, raymond, amy, cyrus, julius the funny guy, clara shea, eddie, mingming, ruth, nellie, jackie, candice, asathor my teacher, yan, azura, mary, kylie, yukjair, and ar kar.

ch. 114 one hand can't clap

one hand can't clap.

i think i did something wrong too.

that leads to wht's happening right now. sigh..

ch.113 G.I.G.

God Is Good. I m really feeling a lot better.

I thank Him for all my prayers partners, for all the ppl who prayed for me.
this is amazing coz this must be God's work.
pray that i could continue to live and walk with God.

ch. 112 tvb queen

things that are happening.. they are just too crazy.

in His time. i know. i m learning to cope with all these.

drama is my name and i m so damn tired from work and shit in life.

i m so tired that when i blink, i need to close my eyes for 1 sec. my eyes r fucking dry.

i m asking you Lord, this is abit too much. wht's gonna happened after all these? pls show me the light. pls tell me that what i m experiencing is just part of your plan for my better future. i m really suffocating.

ch.111 ...

looks similar.. i think. y.. ? argh..

argh..

went to cheung chau had sea food tonite, n then went back out. enjoyed the sea breeze (that smelt like green apple) and talked wiht mir. have known her since 94, my gosh. God is gd to both of us.

went to gwen stefani's concert last nite, not that good coz the flow wasn't well planned..i think and it's like.. ppl not into the mood. but i m glad i spent time with the louey's sisters. they r cool.

so tired..but dun wanna sleep.

stock market went down like crazy. i wish i have more money to play.

I thank God for what i have now though. it's good. n i'll still keep praying for u and others in need.

ch.110 big apple

the annual report that i was invovled actually won the gold award under property at ARC. nice! and what's more is that it's gonna be competing in the best of show and best of overall annual report. the designer asked me to go to the dinner gala at NYC. haha. sweet. see if the client wanna go, if so, i'll force mr. boss to pay for my ticket n arrange me for a nice and fun trip at the big apple.

yay.

ch.109 just do it

have been saying a lot of "i wanna.. " these days.. but never really do it.
i guess i've always been like this.. always say "i wanna" but never really get things done.

yah, i do learn more about myself now.

figured.. u r right..

ch.108 conflicts

i wish to let go,
i wish to forget,
i wish to be happy,
i wish to move on...

... yet i can't stop praying for you.

even though you are not a good man,
even though you have hurt me with words and action...

... yet i can't stop praying for you...

but

i do not pray to be back with you,
i only pray that you will be back with God.

ch.107 prayer

dear god, pls gives T repentence leading him to the knowledge of the truth, so that he could be free from the captive of the evil. pray for his family and his freinds, so that they will know you. Please open the eyes of their heart, for them to listen to your words. Please also guard their hearts with the holy spirit and guide them to live a life with you.

Thank you for your blessings on me and my family.

i wish to praise you with him, Lord.

ch. 106 addiction attack

i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all thigns from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.
i should cut all things from him.

feels like bart simpson. lol.

Be focus.

ch. 105 六樓後座 & 我要戒lut...

I am loving my 六樓後座. like the comfy cozy feeling and the freedom of mind.

no more waiting for someone to call..
no more worrying for others.. for disappearing.. for not returning my call...

said soemthing very stupid today.. haha.. during the lunch with my boss and samuel.. about me working at GZ... i said.. then i'll have to 戒lut samuel la.. lol.. quite embarrassing..

but ya.. i really have to 戒lut XXX.

thx jen for staying over.

ch.104 so damn tired

So tired.

Some inspiration from today:

"Work as if you don't need any money,
Love as if nobody has hurt you,
Dance as if nobody is watching,
Sing as if nobody is listening,
Live as if you are in the paradise."

ch.103 老了十歲

Just suddenly had a crave with chinese pop lyrics.

The song title is 老了十歲.. which is another "4 letters words" given to me by a freind of mine. ha.. another freind gave me "3 letters words", which is "law-lai-jin". haha..

詞：林夕　
作曲：伍仲衡　
編曲/監製：伍仲衡

情緒　死了　元氣　散了
力氣　未夠令愛移調
和你　夢醒了　第三者彷佛必要
而你　樂意　被纏繞

＃怎想到我像被人隨便拋低的玩具
　還不知應要怪誰　難道我豁得出去
　怎想到你被別人狂追便成為伴侶
　善變沒有罪　卻是壯舉＃

＊良心可一敲即碎
　女人開始使我恐懼
　遺失了你才明白我會消失了生趣
　連心肝都可失去
　然後犧牲我的眼�
　讓我　為你難堪下去＊

難以　慘叫　唯有　苦笑
時間　為紀念你停掉
和你　避不了　指尖鬆脫的一秒
就似　自我　被焚燒

REPEAT＃＊

像老了十歲　巴不得一飲即醉
至少不必恐怕進睡
為一個你難承受痛苦是我的不對
消失的穢韝葚�
然後花光我的眼�
便會　累到無知睡去

Ch. 102 song sharing @ office

Song sharing with my coworkers.. haha.. n he showed me this one... 編織過的夢想 自已也可以抵達 誰說一定要有他...

btw, i've moved to my new place.. it's quite nice.. loving it now. :) going to GZ tmmr... and friday... sweet.


7.沒那麼愛他
詞/曲:徐婕兒

你有權利情緒化 你不一定要堅強 但有些事情
不能偽裝 別為自己設了框
我懂失去的悲傷 也懂進退的掙扎 但想起過去
都是失望 又何必要放不下
是習慣還是愛 不放心 還是不甘心 只有你自己知道解答

其實你沒有那麼愛他 真的不需要那麼想他
編織過的夢想 自已也可以抵達 誰說一定要有他
其實你沒有那麼愛他 沒有深陷到不可自拔
認清了真心話 你就放得下

深呼吸 抬頭望 發現天空很寬廣
這世界那麼大 幸福總會在某個地方

其實你沒有那麼愛他 真的不需要那麼想他
擁有過的計劃 留給值得的對象 你知道 不會是他
其實你沒有那麼愛他 沒有深陷到不可自拔
認清了真心話 你就放得下

ch.100 tired

so tired...

physically... didn't sleep till 4am and then woke up at 8am to help amy to register her wedding online. ha... (it's acatully full at 8:02am when the registration started at 8:00am!) n then just kept packing and walking to and fro MK and PE... n then up and down the apartment... n then finally.. started packing... just wanna sleep now.. argh.. but still got 50% to pack.. :(

mentally...keep telling myself: dun cry la. it's none of my business anymore. dun want fyn to come back and smack me. dun hate him. can't wait to wear the deep V and hang out with the gang.

o.. love the "whitfield afternoon tea".. love the smell...it just gets me away from the reality.

Ch. 99 抬起我的頭來

這首歌不好播　全是我的錯
我怎可再信任我耳朵
你卻迅速關起唱機　決定要我聽清楚
你說想三方都好過　不要兩邊滿座
我說你點你的火 我難自己的過

* 我的手這麼震 難受到興奮
如在生死關頭無遺憾
你說對她關心太少 我自信卻多得很
我快將一手掌紋 刻進滿杯裂痕
為何還著緊 杯中有你的初吻 *

# 抬出你親愛的前來 圍觀我一去不回來
拿出我僅有尊嚴來 宣佈你我再不相愛
抬起我低過的頭來 由始至終這些年來
如果你的愛心健在 用來害你所愛 #

ch.98 not that bad

went to GZ today... presentation, met the new team, lunch with client and walked around... the place is acatully not that bad..

ch.97 alanis morrisette

i always like the song "ironic" by alanis. just love the lyric coz life is just very ironic all the time. i think the song was out when i was in gr. 9 or 10..

i have started jogging since.. i need to get myself physically tired.
today, i m very very tired... after the moving from yesterday and also a long day of running around doing errands... it's just tiring.. i think im actully experiencing the tireness someone told me before...

n i'll be heading to GZ tmmr... argh.. still need to prep for tmmr's presntation.. :(

-------------------------------------
"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

ch.96 charron's children are soo cute

went to have dinner with charron tonite and her children are so cute. the gal is 2 yrs old and the boy is less than 1. the little gal went crazy tonite, kept doing gymnastic. lol.. she's so funny. And she talked like an adult.. but in ways that i dun really undersatnd.. coz she mumbles. so cute. and the son.. fell asleep when he was drinking milk.. lol!

had a great dinner with charron. haven't seen her for ages and everyone's life is so interesting. i guess i'll see her more often when i got to GZ later on... gonna go to her place for "oak kay fan". hehe..

ch.95 life goes on

life goes on.

everything goes on.

work.. yay, i m manager now.

life goes on.

prayer goes on. will never stop for u.

ch.94 walking through

praying to the Lord for the protection of your heart, your mind and your soul.

praying to the Lord for your family.

praying to the Lord for you.

ch.93 hangs

it just hangs...

day is ok.

nite is n just too long.

The night is just so long...

* may be i shd buy in 0922 now. ha
whtever.
whtever.
whtever.

argh.

it just hangs...

ch.92 still

how come it's still so painful
how come everything is still so vivid
how come i still can't sleep
how come i still dun wanna eat
how come i still can't harden my heart
how come i still can't get things over with
how come crazy things r still happening

YOU won't give me things that i can't handle.. but i really can't do this for too long...

all i can do is to keep praying for him. still...

ch. 91... apparently.. i can write

i've been writing lots of letters lately.. for work and personal.

for work, i acatully got praised by "THE" ppl about my writing skill. i m abit overwhelmed by that as they are "THE" pro.

for personal, i got no response from what I wrote...

but i have to admit that i express better by words than verbal communication. i hope you understand.

btw, someone is calling me "drama queen" now. haha.. coz of all the things happened to me... the two area in life that i tresaure and cherrish the most... that are on the top of the priority list.

i guess.. life is a drama.

ch. 90 understand

yes i understand now.

still love you tho~ :)

ch. 89 pain

it hurts so much.

can't use any words to describe.

i can't breath, i can't sleep, i can't eat and i can't see.

cried as much as i could, till my eyes can't open and my ears can't hear.

i think my heart stopped.

the pain grows bigger and bigger and deeper and deeper everyday.

people say time heals the pain... but my pain is rooted into my heart and it's growing everyday.

i should be mad, i should be angry, but i couldn't. i couldn't.

i love you. i really do love you. we were going to grow old together, we had all the things together. we complement each other. we had good foundation. we experienced all these together. our past doesn't worth a 2nd chance? i m willing to doo all things with you. i've changed. don't leave me.

ch. 88 Compatibility

M i compabtible with T?

i think at the beginning of the relationship, we talked about that, acatully, he talked about that.. he said wht makes the relationship work is to have good foundation and we r compatible. hmm... compatible as in we complete each other... it's not the chessy, goose bump saying.. he meant that he takes care of the external thigns and i take care of the internal.. and that makes a good team and that's compatible in his definition. i somekind agree and so far, things r working well between us because i m better at doign the small things.. i m more attention to details n he is soooo not. is that compatible? i hmm.... i just think that within comptaible, there's also comprimising, undertstanding, tolerating, forgiving, and not too great expectation of the other half... too much expectation leads to too great of disappointment n pain... n yah, i learn not to expect too much from T and everything else is bonus. haha..eg. i will not expect him for any romance and him bringing me out to Sphagetti house is a bonus. wahaha..

ch.87 YIPEE~~

My freind whom i've known since gr. 3 just rang me and told me that SHE IS GETTING MARRIED next yr !!!

i m soooo happy for her. She's one of my best friends that lasted for almost 20 yrs! 20 YEARS! wow. Me and her and three other girls were "the GANG" since gr 3 - gr 6.. and then she immigrated to new zealand and then me to toronto and then other girls to vancouver. We havent' seen each other since gr. 7. and then in this few yrs, allof us went back to HK to work and "the GANG" is back again. It is amazing how we all can enjoy each other's company w/o any stranger-feeling after all these years. And now, this girl, whom is the closest to me among all, is getting married!!! The feeling is amazing.

I duno how we could keep in touch for so many years, when i told my other friends, they were all amazed. Most have lost contact with freinds from HK after they immirgrated. I m really thankful for this relationship~ :)

ch.86 i m old and lost and have no money... can i be a child again?

at this moment, i m still refusing to grow up. so many things i needa take care by myself.. argh... so much better when i could just leave everythign to my mom and dad. ... but apparently, i can't now.
God, pls grant me wisdom for all the decision making, which way I can most glorify you? Please give me some hints...

ch.85 miracle life

i love this stability.

seems like everything's fine now.

I m enjoying this. God is good to us. The more I think about it, the more i think God has performed miracles.

ch.84 O, Happy Day

Tommy 決志 today!

OMG.

OMG.

Praise the LORD!

He came back from San Fran last thurs and today's the first time he came back to church. We had our drama team workshop today and had a good time trying to act. (We'll have X'mas drama at church! a professional HK Theatre actress, who's one of our fellowship members, is holding workshop to teach us, so much fun and blessed~) Anyway, after the workshop, we had our prayer time. I duno why, when it's time for ppl to say out what they wanna pray for, I immediately shout out loud to the ppl, first. i told them that Tommy is starting his job next Tues! everyone's happy for him. and then, since T's cantonese is not that good and so i kept talking (wahhaah.. ) and out of nowhere, i said to the ppl, pls pray for T's learning about God, i talked to him and he said he belived in God but still not too sure. n then, suddenly, this brother, who's actaully devoted himself as a missionary and he's studying theology now, asked T the questions. without hesitation, T said yes, he believes that God resurrected from the dead, that he accepted God as his personal saviour forever. N the brother immediately asked T to pray with him, saying after him, n T said yes. I was speechless. It was totally out of my imagination. I was just asking them to pray for Tommy and out of nowhere, Tommy said yes to the Lord.

I am speechless, Lord. You are truly one amazing, full of blessings, Lord.

Pls lead me and T to live our lives fully for You, Lord.

ch.83 GZ

finally started the Guangzhou project.

Today's my first day to GZ. Went there to interview the big boss of WCL . went there at 8:30am, got there at 10:30am.. n then back home at 6:30pm. What a tiring day. having sorethroat as well... aiya.. from cherry, i think. cherry's my co-worker.. a gal who is actually very similar to me but abit more "think it out loud". Anyway, i m feeling not too gd rite now.. just got back from bday dinner of my aunt, had a gd time = gd food. i hope i dind't make them sick as well. lol. my thinking is very fragmentated rite now coz i think i needa sleep. O, n janet is finally married! saw the pix of her wedding day from grace, seems like it was a very fun filling nite. i m so happy for her. O, n my T is having interview in HK, i pray for and with him about this and hopefully he could get it.

bloggin is fun,i like talking to myself. haha.

ch.82 back to bloggin'

Suddenly felt like bloggin again.

I have changed... so much. I was reading my blogs and I was quite different right now.

I've changed job. Working as AE at a marketing solutions company.
still with T. but so much further away... yet connects with our hearts.
lost weight.. due to uncountable stomach flu.. hk is such a dirty place.
permed my hair ... luckily not like a c9.
having lots of ups n downs... closed myself to myself.

I need to open. please give me courage to open.

What I am doing right now, doesn't feel good.