ch.242 Moving again

today is the packing day for me. moving out of PE to TP or may be it's GZ.

pastor D & Joanne came n get the sofa, the bed and other stuff. Solomon & Alex came n got the tv and the tv table. now i m cleaning up stuff that i dun need and throwing stuff away.

feelin a bit low for now as i feel qutie alone doin all these. always wanted to have someone here with me. i'd hv to admit i m not that strong.

i bought egg tarts for solo n alex. m i really too nice to ppl? i take care of ppl and think for them too much without caring for myself. it's supposed to be a good thing right? at this down moment of my life, i really need to depend on G. listen to my pray during my distress. God is here with me and i m not alone. all these sadness n loneliness r from the other side. o, i suddenly feel alot better now. wow, this is amazing. i m just thinking it out loud and i m expereincing the change inside me now.

Pray for the india ppl, the world is in its end? G, let me know what i shd do for u at this time, during my days on earth. As i want to fulfill my purpose on earth for U. really. the P&W idea, pls teach me how to do it. also, how to deal with my duties on earth.

ch. 241 6 months

was told that i was only given 6 months to try out in GZ.
hmm... relief? relax? not, none of these two.
had lunch with Kevin of SZ today. He said it took him 1 yr to really get himself to feel better in SZ. it was a good time spend today for lunch. gotta know more ppl and he's kinda cute. haha.
lots to do tmmr n the coming wk.
can't believe the client picked those 2 names but what could be done?

don't give up.

"it's a very hard feeling to be questioned..." - s+e

moving out of PE to dad's place this sunday. sat will be the pick up days by everybody. solomon & alexander. lolz. that's really quite funny. pastor D and wife, pauline and raymond. that's great. i m glad the things i hv ppl found them useful.

will be back to hk this friday.. hopefully the time will be well spent there.

ch.240 tear of joy

went to Nick Vujicic's event tonite. tears kept coming out of my eyes from the beginning til the end.

still praying for mir and jacquie. I m happy for jacquie tho, she is willing to know more. i have to keep praying for her.

also, reivial hk. the idea of P&W is more confirmed. How to do? still need more prayers. dear G, i wanna do somethign for u,pls let me know.

ch.239 friday night

no worship team practice. without notice. acatully, noticed at 8pm. kinda piss at this unorganize schedule. i dun work around his schedule.
missed charron's husband's bday party. missed the chance ot meet new friends. due to the unorganization of the highsch kid.
went jogging instead. ran like crazy and sweat like crazy. walked from tst to home afterward. had caramel latte on the way home.. felt good. i dun even feel tired at all. weird

went to shunde for the project today. 1 client 1 day. wht a day.

finally gave ken the undies. haha.. the colors r sooo baby.. gd that he loves them. haha.. o, n met his bf. funny.

ch.238 not happy

not happy with boss' way of handling things.

force a client to take thigns that they rejected?
wht the?

ch.237 cultural SHOCK!

had the gz team over for hot pot tonite. OMG, they used sooo much oil. everything is oil to them.
1) the sauces: 3 out of 3 - oil based. (!!!!) a) oil with garlic b) oil with hot pepper 3) oil with green pepper and soy sauce
2) the soup: they acatully boil oil and garlic and ginger first n then pour in the soup mix and water. The amount of oil wasn't tiny. i was shocked!
3) continue addition of pure oil into their bowl while eating. (!!!!!!)

i m in serisous need of a vege diet and i can't help but feel the growing of my already not so tiny stomach. While i was thinking to have salad at night, this one girl told me "DON"T!" coz the vege in china is so poisoned and dirty. (!!!!) she was like, "Really, DON"T". *O*

the hot pot was not bad, had tons of food. O, finalyl tasted the "Great wall" red wine.. it was bad. really bad. hahaa.. can't believe it. Dora brought it over and we all had some. again, she said i m fatter. haha. o well.

man, this is something funy.

btw, i will get to go watch the no limbs guy this sunday. yay ;)

ch.236 The pursuit of Jesus

sermon today talked about to pursuit Jesus, we have to:
1) Walk in line with God
2) Live without fear
3) Live out the challenges as God will not give u anything u can't handle

Last week, it was about how to do it:
1) be joyful
2) focus on God
3) spread the gospel


i m not too sure what's happening in my life right now. i just know that i am always tired. having homes in both hk and gz, travelling, spending time with friends and family, dealing with clients, dealing with boss, dealing with coworkers, learning i m so not ready for committment of a relationship, learning i m not sharp and still lack so much experience, learning that i need to equip myself and not be lazy, wanna do the hk passion p&w event, chruch's duties, exercising, bad stomach, can't handle the oily food... o.. i know i m not going thru anything that i can't handle as God wont' giv eme any that i can't but im so tired and i want to know how all these things lead me or help me to pursuit Jesus.. i m so tired. mentally and physically.

ch.235 feelin the lovin

auntie was here last nite. bought me 'ci-min-pay" all the way from hk. i m so touched.

quite sick after the dinner n i puked infront of my building.
went ot sing k with auntie and fay fay. funny.

argh. still sick but i m so glad my aunt came. thank G for that.

ch.234 sick at gz

feeling so sick.. not only phyiscally but i m ..
sick of being alone.
sick of taking care of myself.
sick of not meeting my friends.
sick of not hving a good meal.
sick of not hving someone to talk to.
sick of handling everything at work.
sick of the cultural difference.
sick of hving relationship problem.

G, i know u r here, pls help me feel better.

ch.233 Third

well, it's the 3rd time we met. had a casual lunch and chit chat.

just wanna say, if it's not for me, pls go away. if it's for me, pls show me more.

ch.232 MBA

went to the MBA fair today with mir, figured that it's not for me at this moment. first of all, not qualify --> degree + GMAT + 2plus yrs working experience as manager. well, not ready yet. Learning from my work is good but as i met the ppl today, i figured i am so behind. I m within this tiny world of mine, meeting only the average but not the best. I m not that sharp but I'd like to work with the better to improve myself. yet, my current work is giving me experience that I needed to build a stronger foundation for my future career. Today affirmed me that working for ET will not be forever for me.

I treasure what G has given me though, it's not like everyone got an opportunity to run a company from the beginning. I will try my best to do it and will do it well.

tmmr is worship team, me being the vocal. gotta sleep early tonite. keep praying for lam n grace, pat and jac, mom and dad, uncles and aunties.

ch.231 tired.. but it's worth it

very tired. taking the train from gz to hk. then to the worship team practice.

But it's all worth it. As it is for G. every time i go, it's always the perfect time. The minute i got there, the practice begins. And everything i got ppl to give me food. haha.

yes, G gives us test in little thing and he will take care of us in all things.

ch.230 G 1st

Found out what happened was a blessing to me. I started to read the Word for real, first time in my life. And as Louie G. said, i found myself saying "WOW" everytime i read. The more i m reading, the more I am in awe of the Lord. And the more I put Him first rather than myself. I chose to go to worship team instead of going back home to sleep; i choose to go for worship than to sleep in; I choose to go to aunt's place for the meeting than to jog. And I feel very good after all these decisions because it is the right thing to put G first in making all kinds of decision. I never regret and often feel even happier afterwards.

Solo will come to the service again this sunday. I am not sure what's going on but i've learnt my lesson. G first.

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, those who rejoice with trembling, those who walk in the path of the righteous.

More ideas are popping up: the praise & worship event, the new youth group, the website. all have to pray about first.

ch.229 1 day

spent the whole day with solo today. breakfast, no lunch, no dinner n then kfc.
2nd time we met.

7 hrs --> 2 hrs --> movie

ouch.

it actually hurts.

dear Lord, is this what u r giving me? o it hurts.

ch.228 grandma's bday

had a great dinner tonite. i love my grandma. she looks so radiant tonite, i just love her so much. unconditional love. just love her.

3 tables, lots of food, gd times talkin about nothing.


gz wk no.3, it's alrite. had a dinner at a local street restaurant one nite and ordered a big bowl of noodle. the size of the noodle was like a face cleaning bowl, scare me off! Will never order soemthign big in gz.

cut hair, joggin, sharing at a fellowshipa bout my stm trip today. did alot of things. gd time spent. talked to auntie about my worship plan. Lord, pls grant me wisdom to do it.

ch.227 keep praying

i wanna write.
i wanna do music.
i wanna use my voice to worship the Lord and let others to enjoy priase and worship.
i wanna find someone to have the same goal and do it together.
i wanna use my days for G.
i wanna sing and priase.
i wanna lift up His name.
i wanna love.
I wanna be in love.
i wanna be loved.
i wanna enjoy what i do.

i wanna live make my days count.

lord, pls guide me through.

ch.218 gz wk 2

man, had foot & body massage today. foot massage was great, i think running really made me healthier as i dun feel much pain. other than this little pain at the bottom and apparently that was becoz i didn't sleep well. that is so true.

went ot this trader show today at westins, gd buffet, bad match makings. well, had an interesting conversation with this guy, he said: chinese ppl r so smart, but they just lack one thing, it's the passion with responsibility. They can switch your arms and make them functional but yet, they won't guarantee that u won't die of side effects.

anway, going back to hk tmmr. can't wait to go to the passion! YAY!

ch.226 strange but happy

out for a drink with solomon today. interested. they r so alike. other than S is a Christian and younger... way younger.. but other things, they r very very similar. i had a very gd time n felt very happy. haha. but what a strange experience tho.

happy yet strange.

ch.225 1st wk at gz

argh.

well, had a great nite with michelle. i think. the C;union bar was ok, the guy sang pretty well. good talk, nice hang out bud.

work, well, feel very blessed with many clients calling in and opportunities flying in. amazing and i shd catch them well. Had a talk with bec and then today finally some time alone with kevin to talk. i guess things r going alrite.

started to clean up the toilet today, have to do it in order for the ppl to do it. that's my lesson no.1 learnt in management.

cheers.

ch.224 music

demo
demo
demo

wht m i doing at work. shit.

ch.223 1 second sadness

2 friends of mine said to me
"r u sad?"
i said,
"no, why?"
they said,
"for that 1 sec, ur face told me u r sad."

may be i m sad or not happy. i duno. may be it's the gz trip that makes me have complicated feelings and deep inside me, i think and worries me.

i m still not good enough to hide my feeling.

O, n yes, i'll rent a studio to record a demo for myself. backstage, here i come!

Ch.222 tatoo

suddenly wanna get a tatoo. just a tiny one at the back of my shoulder. a little graphic sign to remember my 28th year of my life.

was at destination till 4am yesterday, didn't go to bed till 5am. missed church n angel's wedding. ai. i m so bad.

n finally bought a new digital camera, canon is still my choice as it got a gd reputation n i m used to its functions. also, first time buying my own cell phone. haha.. come to think of it, all the previous ones were gift from other ppl. i m so blessed.

my bday wk was great. enjoyed alot wiht my friends, my lovely dears and my familly. during tonite's dinner with family, our usualy sunday dinner, i felt abit different, i felt like i m part of them.. as a grown up, not their little girl anymore.

ch.221 back home

finally got back home today. my home, my hk home, my messy and personal, all by myself home. it's 330am in the morning now and i just woke up. Got back from Shunde tonight after the exihibition. It was an interesting trip. Met lots of people: the "speakers", the "chairman", the "business guys", the "Competitors" and we ended up as friends. It was cool hanging out with them. It was fun to hang out with doc sam too. he is such a big kid, we really r very good friends, i wonder why we never started. haha. anyway,

ch.220 o crap

S+E - Oh! Crap.... says:
actually i duno what i'm doing
but i just enjoy it

太多東西一起發生了
i dunno ..... feel just let it be
all the thing surround u will push u to make it happen

順水推舟是最好玩啦

只係唔知點解有d咁事發生
但好玩

i want to be a picasso
唔係成就
just do whatever u want and love the women i wanna love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaLfDnShEn0

=------------=

really many things happened to me during my 28th year of life, i m glad i m not the only one. happy & sad. pos & neg. wht not to be negative. life is happening and must be pos. to all happenings.. even to the dramatic traumas.

Change is a way of life.

G is not gonna give me things that i can't handle. it's gd to see what G has got me into for my days on earth.

cheers.

CH.219 water Godess

OMG! u cannot imagine what happened to me! My home got flooded!! CHI MA GUN! when i got back from jogging, i met the ppl who lived at Flat C, 2 teenagers, looked scared and told me "crazy flooding, water pipes exploded.. i hope your place is ok"
n when i opened my dooor. shit! filled iwth water that is like 1 in high. i totally 239IJFR)*#$*FDUIHS! n then shut up and clean up my place. Gd that my bro and ar so came n help me out. Now i got all my ACs turned on and i m so damn cold!

man, i m serisouly somehow connected with water.. the flood at GL, the crazy ceiling and wall, n now this! argh.

so tired but dman, i still hv to work on my freelance and prep my things to go to GZ tmmr. shit hsithsithisthisthst

ch.218 8am -1am

woke up very early today. duno why i just dun wanna spend time on the bed. feellike i m wasting my time on the bed.

finally returned everything to juliana, now waiting for her responses. finally gonna start working on the church website. and apidion. and dad's poster.

will move out of my place, can't afford it. save up is my priority now.

jen and i both agreed that we r problematice women. we want love, but we duno how to love. we are somehow to 'awake" for love. too conscious. if ever i started a relationship, it'll happen in a flash. too much time for me to think will not make it works. Am i attracted to arrogant bastards? may be. i have to say... from the trend of mine... yes i do. o no. Jen asked what do i picture my future home to be, i think it'llbe a bit cleaner than what i have now. lolz. but my home right now is so 'single". haha.

jogged today. Random for 45 mins @7.5. sweated soooo much today. felt really really good. i m addicted to this feeling. the feeling that i could control myself to overcome difficulties. For life,i dun hv the control. God does. I must keep this in mind.

ch.217 T9 day

today is supposed to be a day off due to the weather, but no. so much to do instead.
1) GZ work
2) P&G presentation
3) hyscilife
4) church website
5) pet accessories
6) movie- la vie en rose
7) cleaning up my home
8) wathcing the sky
9) listen to music
10) magazine reading
11) seraching online for NYC hotel and tickets (taht took awhile!)
12) sourcing
13) calling up family members
14) dealing with GZ student kat (her last day)
15) cooking for my dinner (so good, o my)

wa, i did so much today. still hv to reserach on the 360 feedback on the HR issue and my china pay roll system. and i needa book an appointment wiht my dentist. And have to buy more fruit.

so many things to do.

yet, i enjoyed it.

go go go.i prayed so hard before the Pantene's meeting today, n i figured, "knowing God is the beginnign of wisdom". that is one true thing that i'll have it on my home(each of my home) to remind myself with.

i shd have a time set for devotion as well.

ch.217 time tunnel-back to the 80s

had dinner with Bec tonite at 27.3 degree tonight. before going, bec highly recommended this place, saying the chef was from garden hotel and food was great and gd decor and stuff. well, the food was ok, but i could do better. the deco was not bad.. but the ppl in the restauarnt.. felt like i m in the 80s.

suddenly, i felt like i can do it. gz here i come. Lord, pls guide me

ch. 216 Meeting new friend

met VP today and had a gd sharing with her history in starting up her company. From zero to 8 ppl company.
in her 30s, talented and ppl-oriented. she still has so many questions going on with her companies and wht to do and how to manage and who to hire, what to hire. her questions, most i know the answers. then i realized what i've learnt the past 3 yrs with Eddie. n so i said today, E is a gd c-fu. n i think E was happy.

Random @7.8 --> 6.1 (power walk) --> 7.8 at the last 10 mins. amazing to sweat!

met new frds at the gem lesson as well, clara and frank.

ch.216 tired

so tired. so tried that i wanna eat. so tired that i dun wanna sleep. so tired.

so tired. out on the street all day.

so tired. all sorts of work.

so tired. hv to deal with coworkers emotion. WHO TO DEAL WITH MINE?

the pilling of responsibilities r growing further up.

darn, didn't go joggin.

Ch. 215 lo lic jan

Random @ 6.1 for 42 mins. shdn't eat "chicken-egg-kid" before i ran.. dind't ran but walked tonight coz felt the pain on my right. *O*


grab the chance with God's blessing. no more wasting time.

God, pls grant me wisdom on what to do with my life. still so much to learn.

ch.212 jogging 4/ CHINA ROCKS!!

45 mins @7.4 :) 12 mins cool down
4 x 750ml water

lunch with mary today. Talked about my full of shit story and the wisdom teeth story and crusie story. it was good times.

the olympic games, china ROCKS! it's amazing how china has produced all the excellent atheletics. Most of them are all young teenages less than 20 yrs old. How crazy is that.

lo lic at work, jan!

ch.211 jogging 3

45mins @ 6-7.8 for Fat burns

gaining weight.. shoot!

run jan run!

ch.210 jogging 2

40 mins @7.2, 10 mins walk @5.0

got my ultrasound report out, i got a 3mm diameter fibrosis at my f.tube. doc said it's not causing any harm but will hv to check it up in 6 months time to make sure it didn't grow bigger. when it's 5mm diameter, i have to cut it. good that i got this ultrasound done. God is gd to me. if i didn't know, it might turn into something bad.


had a long talk with eddie yesterday because he doesn't want me to leave. i'll hv to talk to him on monday regarding what i want. how much salary i want and wht i would do. talked to david as well, confronted with him about his "kind" comment and he apologized. he thought it was a joke but i think it's time forme to show them that i will fight back.

Ed said working is of coz of money.. great, thank u.

dun wanna think at all.

the 08 olympic opening ceremony was totally awesome. "watched" it with S+E.. he at SH, me at HK, but talking on msn. well, with my bro too.. lolz.. poor him gotta work at the office and watched at the office.

ch.209 jogging

40 mins @ 7.1

got a personal insult from david fok today. that pushed me to my resignation.

ch.208 T8 day, work day

woke up hearing my bro's voice on the radio announcing hk is having T8. i was like, yay, no need to work. after 1 sec, i was like. shoot no, i hv to go to gz today. duno if the direct train still runs and so tried to looked up from the web but the site doesn't say a thing about that. called the hotline but of coz couldn't get thru and so i caleld my boss. he wasn't gonna go bt then i told him we got a briefing from P&G today and said here we off. it took me 10 mins to get into the cab and i had to pay $100 for my trip to HH station which usually costed me $30. Met with the new gz student today at gz office and he's ok but abit sleeky. had a 2 hrs brief at P&G. figured becky can't really un at all.. ppl spoke in english + mandarin. i asked her to jot down the notes but shit, she didn't quite get wht the ppl were saying. i understood the mandarin this time and so the role is on me. i listened very carefully but the girl talked so fast! omg. even bec said she can't quite caught wht she was saying. lolz. back to hk at 10 something coz finally gotta chance ot take the T825 train. Ed went on as well and talked about work all the way. so crap. i totally showed face to him. my no-interest-face. haha. argh. may be i shdn't do that, but i just can't stand it anymore. anyway, the briefing was good tho, gotta meet hte deisgn consultant of P&G, micheal. he's super 'inch' but in a gd way. I needa meet more ppl like that, well, not only meet, but work. lo lic, jan!

ch.207 colonscopy

bowel-cleansing: 7pm - 11pm.. very tiring.. never shit so much before and when u go poo like u pee.. it's not funny. it was painful and exhausting.

colonscopy: my doc injected something in the back of my hand and missed. the last thing before i gone down was "damn... u missed?" n then i woke up at 11am seeing myself on my bed. Then i went back to sleep again. woek up at 1am.

ultrasound: everyone moved so fast, was out in the room in 10 mins. the doc said my intestines are fine. but there might be a cyst/benign thing.

will knw the result tomorrow. keep praying.

ch.206 human flourishing

What Is Human Flourishing?

One biblical index of human flourishing appears in the prophets and recurs in Revelation. In trying to help people understand his promises of blessing to them, God sketches a picture of a city with the sound of musicians heard in the streets, artisans busy at craft and trade, the economic engine of the millstone turning, the domestic miracle of a lamp in a window and the voices of bride and groom rejoicing (Rev. 18:22-23; see for example Jer. 7, 16, 25, and especially 33). When either our hearts or our societies cease to flourish, these sounds fall silent. But these are sounds God loves to hear, for our good and his delight.

These outward signs of flourishing might well be supplemented by the inward signs of Christian virtues or the fruits of the Spirit. Are we bearing the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? If so, then we are flourishing.

Contributing to Flourishing

Sadly, it must be said that many people are not doing well. They’re sick, they’re poor, their leaders oppress them, their relationships are shallow, their hopes are unrealized, or they have no hopes left at all. Christians looking about them at the world are sensitive to many forms of human suffering and human failing, and we’re right to remain sensitive to all of these — whether economic or emotional, political or intellectual, international or intergenerational, physical or spiritual. People in every sphere are right to ask, “Is this any way to live?”

One reason we can be sensitive to human suffering and failing is that we, following Christ, remain committed to human flourishing. In the fallen world, such flourishing will be hard-won. But we can get beyond a mere catalog of the disasters around us and rise up to challenge suffering’s sources and symptoms alike, because knowing God has given us a taste for what his world is supposed to be like.

As Christians we join in the work of Jesus, who (by his own testimony) came that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). This life is multi-dimensional: spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, aesthetic, and social. As Jesus’ followers, we are called to nurture life within ourselves, in our communities, and around the world. Abundant life is a quality of the Kingdom of God, and from this root grows our commitment to human flourishing.

All people can contribute to human flourishing, if only in the humblest acts of care for others. But those of us in the universities and professions have been given a precious gift. We can contribute in extraordinary, even unique, ways to human well-being: the obstetrician who delivers a baby alive who would otherwise die, the teacher who guides students to understanding and academic success, the judge who shepherds a case to justice. Such examples can and should be multiplied and the stories told. Such principles should be advanced in every discipline and profession. Imagine what Christians might accomplish in our culture if we conceived of our academic and professional work as making a godly contribution to human flourishing?

What Human Flourishing Is Not

Let’s be clear about what human flourishing is not. Human flourishing is not the only way to frame our life as Christians in the university and professions. By focusing our attention on the topic for several days together, we do not intend to eclipse other important approaches to understanding God’s call to academics and professionals.

Nor is human flourishing to be cultivated at the expense of the non-human elements of God’s creation. In fact, God has always called us to be good “gardeners” in order to best live life. God made all of creation good and made its living inhabitants to be fruitful and multiply, and he charges us with responsibility — in accountable dominion — to help it flourish.

Human flourishing does not pit the individual against the community or the personal against the social. We want to consider the ways we can both model and multiply human flourishing. It rejects the selfishness (not to mention the inefficiency) of “looking out for number one.” At the same time, it does not submerge each individual within a smothering collective. God makes individual persons and he makes communities, and we believe he wants both to flourish.

Human flourishing is certainly not to be reduced to the acquisition of physical comforts and economic security (or security of any kind). We believe that God’s vision for human flourishing is broader and deeper than “the American dream,” a single-minded petition for “health and wealth,” or the facile appeal to an ethic of “survival of the fittest.” In the academy and professions, we often see the lack of flourishing manifested precisely in the pursuit of illusory forms of flourishing, through careerism, overweening ambition, vainglory, or the sacrifice of relationships to selfish goals. Human flourishing is not merely “success.”

The alleviation of physical and economic suffering is part of the picture, especially for those most affected, but we also know that there is a mystery in God’s economy: that often hardship brings blessings not found among the complacently comfortable. Jesus himself was a man of sorrows, and we learn to “suffer well” as we are conformed to his image. We particularly want to remain open to the role of sacrifice in human flourishing, without valorizing poverty or despising riches.

It turns out that human flourishing is not really very human at all: it is a divine gift. Its original design was given by the Maker and now he endows the spiritual gifts and provides all the resources to pursue it. Human flourishing is not an end in itself and cannot be fully realized without worship, apart from which we cannot apprehend the proper ordering of the world. As we worship, we are released from the naïve and arrogant egalitarianism in which we imagine we are like God. Human flourishing is never grounds for boasting, but always an occasion for prayer, praise, and gratitude.

In the end, the ultimate question is one of identity and vision: who did God make us to be? What would it have been like to live in God’s original garden, walking with him at our side as we practiced our calling? Or perhaps better — what will it be like to live in God’s New City amid his New Creation, dwelling in a divinely restored community, within a renewed environment, loving God with heart, soul, mind, and strength?

ch.205 long day

yes, i single handedly finsihed the proposal and presentation. I pray that the client will buy wht i presented. I was really surpprised that they didn't get it in the first place. what did they expect? i've asekd many to comment on the ppt and they all said it's very well covered and easy to understand. well, i m glad that i gotta talked to the client n explain to them in details what i presented and they sounded satisfied.

scared the X out of me when they called and said they dun understand. damn, just play the slide show ! that was definitely one cultural shock for me... they dun play the slide show but just slide the ppt down.... shit.

anyway, spent the whole day with doc sam today. talked alot. n during lucnh, i actaulyl kinda lead to religion topic with him n patrick. keep praying for them.

and doc sam told eddie that i m not happy with my work. great.. there's really no secret in this place. argh. i'll see wht's eddie's next move.

ch.204 尋找生命中的目標

很年輕的時候，精力無窮無盡，時間恍似永遠用不完。

就像唸中學，甚麼也好奇，甚麼也好玩，隨便唸十多個科目，還要參加各樣課外活動。及至上大學，再不能夠貪多，改為專修一科。

當你年紀漸大，精力減退的同時，很奇怪，時間亦愈來愈不夠用。去到這地步，修一科也嫌多，恨不得集中所有資源，只鑽研裏頭的一個小題目。

假如略有所成，謝天謝地，回顧一生應無憾。否則，原來幾十年來，白白熱鬧喧嘩一輪，竟然才發現是枉過，那種空虛失落，簡直比死還難受。

因此，做人到咁上下，要開始尋找生命中的目標。流浪不再是好玩，漂泊只因為是無奈。

任憑你是大英雄、大美人、大才子，誰也敵不過時間；唯有及早打算，暗中密密練功，各自需尋各自門。像劉德華，經歷過多產時期、天幕事件等等，尋尋覓覓、兜兜轉轉，近年來反璞歸真，自設公司名「FOCUS」（焦點）。顧名思義，很明顯他亦已覺悟，以後的事業發展，正需要集中在「焦點」。

蔡瀾也是，一向多才多藝，文章、書法、篆刻，以至風花雪月，兼日本 、韓國 通，正是無一不曉、無一不精。後來大病過後，專注在飲食研究，將以往的雜學融匯貫通，從此大放異彩，提升事業往另一新階段。

狄娜 年輕時，鋒芒太露、氣勢太盛，亦是能人所不能。中年後收斂，集中精神開發中國的航天業務，累積幾十年經驗，現在伸展到歐盟 的「伽利略」衞星導航系統，只做好這一樣已足夠。

最厲害的是查先生（金庸 ），許多人俱知道他創辦《明報》，亦是武俠小說名作家。可是查生的才華，其實我們見識的還嫌少，除了中、英文外，他尚精通法語，發音正宗標準；而且亦是圍棋高手，對古典音樂的鑑賞力極高，隨時可以兼做樂評家。博學到這一個地步，查生卻有本事放下，很早就集中在辦報與寫作，避免浪費時間與精力，果然中年後創出一大番事業，可見成功沒有僥倖。

世上聰明的人多，有目標的人少；具實行力達標的更是少之又少，希望你還趕得及開始。

ch.203 45 mins

i ran again today. 45 mins. must keep it up and i m so proud of myself. When i was at 40 mins today, i just didn't wanna stop and increased the time. I just like the feeling of running and sweating and pushing to the limit. Once i reached limit, the 45 mins for this time, i felt so good.

n yes, i m so poor.. n i sersiously needa find ways to get money.


I actaully called s+e baby today.... in my mind. iduno y.

----------------------------- just read this from news ---------------------

title: 丈夫花心令我絕望

我和丈夫是大學同學，相戀七年才結婚，結婚三年多，在他的一再要求下生了孩子。生孩子前我一再提醒他，能否接受有小孩後的生活改變，我認為小孩出生，必會影響我們的原有生活和感情。他說既然我們的父母都可以，為甚麼我們不行？於是我懷孕、生產、哺育、工作。我的孩子是早產兒，出生時才四磅多，我花了很大的工夫養育他，讓他健康成長，也因此影響了夫妻感情，我以為他會理解，但在孩子一歲多時，我發現他跟初戀女友舊情復熾。事後他發誓一定會離開她，我相信了他，結果在孩子剛兩歲時，我發現他又搭上了另一個女人。最令我心痛的，就是早在我懷孕之後，他已前往找三陪，想不到他竟是這樣的一個男人。幾經掙扎，我決定跟他離婚，然而被他拒絕了。其後，一位好友替我分析，日後不管找到一個如何好的男人，卻始終不是孩子的親生父親，而且一個人帶着這麼小的孩子會很累，所以令我改變了主意。只是，日夜對着這麼一個不負責任的男人，一種無形的巨大壓力，令我透不過氣來，我們的相處簡直是互相折磨，我不知自己還能承受多久？如果說我對他已沒感情，我不會如此受傷害。我看了妳的書，得到一些啟發，我希望自己能有妳所說的勇氣和能量，擺脫負面的情緒，但真要這樣做，實在很難。最難的是經常面對他！周太 女 27歲 主婦

　　犯不着勉強自己

　　問題不是你是否跟他離婚，也不是你無能力照顧孩子，而是你和他已失去信任，不再親密。他的身心早已背棄你，他的承諾無法兌現，他只是多年來不住瞞騙你在外邊尋找他的情慾寄託，他已迷失了自己，只在縱慾和濫情，到了無法自控的地步。他不想離婚，不是因為他愛惜這個家、愛惜你、愛惜孩子，而是不想因為自己的貪慾破壞了家庭，被千夫所指，或者他也太軟弱，無法承擔失去家室後的失敗感，所以不斷說服自己，他只是逢場作戲，並不是大罪，他還是個顧及妻兒的好男人。和他再相處下去，不會帶來任何快樂，反而每天製造不安全感，和曾相愛的男人同牀異夢，勉強走在一起，彼此互相折磨和虐待，這不是健康的夫妻關係，也不會為下一代帶來幸福。孩子需要的是快樂的家庭，而不是表面完整的父母關係。你已完全否定他，他也難以再給你忠誠溫馨的新生活，你們之間的緣份大概已到限期，面對現實吧，女人應有更自由的天空，過自在的生活，犯不着勉強自己。

------------------------------------- i feel for s+e's wife -----------------------

ch.202 lateral thinking

i've started to read this bk by E. de Bono. finsihed the first 2 chapters and he was explaining the differences between lateral and vertical thinking. Lateral is a A-Z-B-C-G, a more general, less restictive, indirect to /more options to solutions, more "creative"/"general" way of thinking; while Vertical is A-B-C-D, direct and to the point thinking.

llateral thinking ppl will go on and on to look for the solutions and vertical will know wht the solution is and dig in deeper to that exact direction. i think i m some what more towards a lateral thinking person. When i think, i tend to think of the unconventional ways rather than the usual pattern. The bk also said that our brain is used to the standardized pattern will go step by step with that 'standardized" direction. however, if that diretion didn't work out, the standard is no longer the standard and that will freak the vertical thinking person out as they realized they hv to repatternized their steps and do it over again to work out the 'correct' way.

it's so hard to be a vertical thinking person coz i find it hard to figured out/ make sure the correct way to dig in. such as my career, my "hobby", i hv so many interests and i never really dig into any so that i m really gd at one. i can play the piano, i can swim, i can sing, i can design.. but i hvn't really dig into any of those deep /long enuf. Also with my religion. i believe in G but i dun read the Bible. I m a emo-Chrisitian.. i used my emotion to control my relationship with G. Also with my reading, I always go to the bookstore to pick out new bks that i m interested, but i seldom finsih reading them. hmm.. acatully, i dun think this is a gd example. aynway, just saying i m glad i m knowing more about myself and what i shd improve on.

work it up girl! and yes, i'll eat healthy, exercise and hv a healthy lifestyle. Glad that my body gave me an alert at this early age.

ch.201 gd that i got covered

so, i m ok. thank G for that!

but... i m recommended to hv a endoscopy of rectum due to my family history of cancerSSS and heart diseasesSSS.

gd that i bought insurance last year and my agent told me i got most of the cost covered. thank G for that again.

watched Kung Fu Panda last nite.. and as wu-kwai said "There is not accident", it's very true. "Believe and you'll be it".. c-fu. also true. wht a funny but great movie.

argh, n the panic feeling of knowing that i might be diagnoised with serious diseases, alerted me. I shd live a healthy life style, eat healthy, exercise and sleep early from now on. the most important thing is being healthy.

n ya, going to take brief from MJGZ tmmr! lovely.

ch.200 hernia story continues

just went to see my family doctor after work today. told her about my situation, how the circular flat protrusion turned out to be a long flat tube shape. she laughed. i hv to admit it is kinda funny. I'll hv to go see the general surgeon she recommended tomorrow and see if wht he wil diagonised me as. Nothing i can do but just keep praying and eating healthy.

Yanzi and Tina are gone. Found 2 memo cards on my mouse pad. "u r a special girl" i've never really lived with 'strangers" before. before were 'friends' whom i've known for ages. So i m abit surprised on what they htought of me. " you r thoughtful and detail minded" "u must love your life and work". " u r energetic" "U r willing to take challenges"
how interesting what my reflection is to strangers whom i hvn't really talked to and jsut shared the flat with.

talked to jovi and marcos today, figured the salary of jovi and terence is not high at all. interesting info. wht are we still here?

Lord, pray for my brother and his family. For them to walk in Your way. For myself as i need guidiance and for T, yes, forhim, for him to know more about u and guard his heart from evil.

ch.199 1+2

today, i got 2 guests from china coming in. They will spend 5 days with me because they r here to do their sharing. it was ok so far. but i dun think i like living with other ppl.


my lower left stomach is still feeling the protrusion. argh. went speed walking at physical today. it was ok. no more pain, thanks G.


had breakfast with eleanor n jen today at 8AM!! so i m kinda tired now... i must work harder harder harder to get more money. i m so broke.. argh.

ch.198 FULL of SHIT.. *O*

i m full of shit... literally.

apparently, the pain i felt at the lower left side of my abdominal is part of my small intestines sticking out form the abdominal muscle wall. yes, it somehow got into the small hole and when i cough (which i hv been coughing quite alot lately), n the cough/ inhaling of air, made the small intestines stick out more. The doc said if i still coulnd't go for no.2 more often, i might need to do surgery. If there was an acute pain or if i puking up, i must be sent to ER immediately because i got "siu cheung hey". This is not a small surgery but one in the middle size. it's better for me to eat liquid food for now until i got a more frequent no.2 "going out".

called my bro and he reminded me that my grandpa had the same thign before and he did the surgery. Is it heritable?

rachel will get her report tmmr, n her case is more severe than me. keep her in my prayer and Lord, pls help her.

u r the everlasting God. u r the everlasting God.

ch.197 argh

the feeling of waiting is not gd.

gd that i'll hv the appointment tmmr nite. argh. gotta keep the faith.

Spent the whole day with doc sam today at gz. he told me to change job. haha. great. will do. he said i was so mean these days or may be so not in the mood that he didn't dare to keep close with me. haha. gd guy, gd friend.

ch.196 Here in Your Presence

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

-------------

dear G, thank u for your comfort.

keept rachel in prayer.
thank G for my bro and sis-in-law.
--> tehy r back from tpi safely, n i recieved the cosmopolitan lauggage bag today.

ch.195 何謂聰明人？

Read from the newspaper today regarding "definition of a smart person", well, let's see..

一、儲蓄友誼，朋友是生命中不能缺少的；
yes, i do treasure my gd friends but on the other hand, i do find that I am losing lots of friends. Losing as in we are keeping a distance from each other now. Those from highschool, with different life experience after graduation, everyone changed. Still friends but the feeling has changed. Those whom i wasn't too close with, some now became a gd frd of mine.

3 years of learning beside Eddie, i realized how important friends are. All built up from friednship, friendship also builds up business. I really do cherrish my friends, spending time with jen, wil, how, mir, suz r gd times. i could spend all my time with them (hopefully they think the same way) but some, i feel reluctant.

　　二、學會放手，特別是在處理感情問題上；
o yes. 1 yr already and i finally let go the rest of my 10%. yes, being able to let go your feeling is wht a smart person should do.... i m stupid on that.

　　三、播種善良，幫助比你苦、比你難過的人；
this i try.... however, i figured i lied without me knowing it sometimes. it's horrible. do i wanna make things look gd? make myself look gd? or wht? why do i lied so damn often without knowing?

I tend to help. I am a helper from the concludsion of "9 ying yan gak".

　　四、學懂音樂、攝影或收藏；
i m blessed to be born with musical talent. at least i think i can dance to the beat! hehe.. and i used to collect erasers wheni was young. haha. I was going to learn photography from francis, but he is too busy with his girl, argh..

　　五、避開兩種苦：得不到之苦和鍾情之苦；
得不到之苦 - haha. how to 避開? 避開 is to not think about it, i guess. i m not as logic as jen, i m emo. to stay away from these two is tough for me.
鍾情之苦 - haha. i think at this period, s+e still got me into this. when will i get out from here?

　　六、學會承受苦痛和煩惱；
o yes, that i learn and i m good. I m "miss positive" here.

　　七、愛護家庭；
yes,i love my family... eventho with all the mess. actually... i m lying again. i m not satisfy about my family. they r all gd but argh.. just some r fake..it's hard to say, i guess we r too civilized .. argh...

　　八、熱愛工作；
try hard.

　　九、勤於學習，每年最好至少讀五十本書；
this i have to set up my goals. i bought lots of books.... must read!!!!!!

　　十、享受運動和大自然。
yes, sports for me! joined physical...n i must run! run, jan, run!

ch.194 1-month

Got back from Physical and i feel good. Tired, but good. Joined Physical yesterday and today is the 1st day of the membership. Went to E-house and did 30 mins running, smae amt of time on machines n then just shower n went home. jogging was gd.

so rachel said the "work out after 3 hrs u consumed food" is an urban myth. The best time is in the morning. Ok, i'll try then.

I am going to spend 1 month on this healthy life style and see what result i got. It is my experiment.

ch.193 travelling month

starting from the end of may, i've been travlling non-stop:
1st stop - Dongguan, China (2 days)
~ The new grand hyatt at song shan lake. awesome room with nice scenery.
~ rode around the lake and enjoyed the fresh air with trouble free mind.

2nd stop - Tokyo, Japan (4 days)
~ lovely. 4 days of eating and walking and having a family time with my aunt, uncle and super lovable cousin chris chris.
~ love the food. enjoyed it so much and it was fun to hang with family.

3rd stop - Guilin, China (7 days)
~ sTM with jen. memorable trip with the people there. experienced the differences and the simple happiness from the locals. of coz, the difficulities they are facing, it was heart breaking. However, their joy from the heart, impressed me.
~ singing the same song from toronto, praying together in different languages, indepth conversation with bokhee. those cleansed my heart and mind.

4th stop - Beijing, China (1 day)
~ 1 day trip from 8am- 2am. met helen of choice communicaton at bj and got my job done. too bad can't really spend time at BJ. but another wknd trip over there would be nice too.
~ back to gz at 2am and back to work at 10am. felt like i m a super woman. Gd that i could skip the late party after the meeting.
~ seriosuly, needa find another job. yes, boss is very nice, but too nice. ya, too nice is not gd neither. argh. G, pls guide me.

non-stop - GZ,China
~ tiring.


o.. i thank G for giving me such a loving bro and sis-in-law. I was sooo tired tonite after i got back from gz. with the big luaggae from gz, i wanna cry if i was to carry it up to my home. so i called my bro n he was so kind that he came all the way from his home to come bring it up to my flat for me. i cried. i felt so weak when i was waiting for my bro to come. and when he arrived, i felt the love and G's grace.

may be living alone is not a gd idea for me... i m starting to feel the loniness and it's draining me.
i cried wheni left GL.. coz i missed the 'family' time during the wk and i dun wanna go back home to be alone. argh.. but then.. there's no one that i could live with.. as in family.. i guess it's a time to train my patience and persistence.

well, talkign to karis is definitley a training on patience..

ch.192 earthquake @ se-chuan

Mark 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains.
Mark 13:7-9 (in Context) Mark 13 (Whole Chapter)


i feel so horrible about wht had happened. Lord, wht can i do? what do u want me to do?

ch.191 blessed

i m very blessed. and i should use what G gave me to bless others.

cheers to G!

ch.190 writing no.2

i m getting paid by writing.

this is something great from God.

another "wow" for the guy up there!

Ch.189 so full!

had a great time at the "PR" with miguel tonite. what a great nite. the food was ok.. the black mussel was abit too salty and the burget is huge! the risotto is.. hmm.. abit 'fresh".. the fries are good tho. afterwards, we went to "SIFT" for dessert... o the chocolate is so damn filling, i m so damn full now... i think i had too much tonite.

but it was gd food, gd time, gd place, gd ppl for sure. o yes, jan fong joined us at Sift as well.. very nice.

ch.188 I duno who else if it's not G

yes, so many "WOWs" to G! Praise Him the Almighty!

1. Free trips!
Destination: Dong guan, Tokyo and Inner M!!
free hotel at DG, free tick & hotel to TKO and free place to stay at IM!
unbeliveable! even my boss exclude those days to IM from my annual leave, can i leave this co? man.. iduno.. it's just too amazing. i was struggling on how to tell E about the trips n HE provides far from i could imagine! i could cry over this. God really provides for you out of your biggest imagination.

2. Writing opportunity
got this idea of writing something about situations/feeling/personal things about women/gals who are turning into our 30s. yes, this is me. i wanna write about things "married men... o shit!", "damn, i wanna get married", "i m not despeate", " a divorcee?", "how to forget the bastard ex", "men and affairs".. etc. i was just talking to jen and ask her to come over to talk about this coz i wanna make a website out of it. should be fun and definitely gonna add a sensse of humour into all of this since life is so not exciting and bored with work... why not hving more fun? AND THEN, was talking to S+E this afternoon, suddenly misses talking to him, acatully saw his works at his co. brochure from lit' pete and then i asked him for his finger ring beer opener... haha.. anyway, i asked him how his mag going and he said he's lookin for ppl to write up for him and then out of nowhere, my courage adrenalline rushed into my head/hand and asked him, "can i write?" n he said "sure" and i think this is just awesome. what a great opportunity. duno if his mag's gonna work or my piece is gonna be posted but still, a great motivation for me to really sit down and get my thoughts together and hold up a pen and write down and take action to what's in my mind.

3. Dad's teaching choir at church
I thank G for not abandining my dad and praise G for taking care of him.

4. grandma
just love her. love talking, love hanging out, love tobe around her.

5. family prayer meeting every monday
amazing. i m not gonna miss 1 single nite of that. me n auntie just chit chat and pray for the family members. This is great. i thank G for this opportunity.

6. GZ
ya, i m starting to likin it. likin to hv my own network, my own business, to get truth from ppl and work well in my projects. i thankG for this opporuntiy.

7. boss
eventho i said i m gonna quit, i still thank G for giving me this boss. Freedom, opportunity, no stress, trust. it's time for me to pay back.

ch.187 story telling list

met up with pistol tonite. talked about daily life and work and family and bf and food and exercise.. a relaxing nite. but one thing that i remember the most is the Story Telling list. When u want ppl to remeber what u said, it's better to include a story with the point. Say, u wanna talk about how important it is to be around when u r microwaving your lunch, then u better tell a story about what happened when someone didn't do that. ppl tend to love listening to stories. i agree coz i m one of those ppl too. so from now on, i m gonna start writing down stories that i've heard, i've observed and set theme for those as well.

another lesson learnt from frds.

great to hv friends.

o, m gonna go to mobile art again in sept in nyc! woohoO~ :)

ch.186 潮爆中國

真的，如果我要替一個現今成長於香港的15歲孩子找雜誌，我是找不到什麼本地雜誌可讀的。


過去，事情不是這樣的，如果是20年前，這名15歲的孩子應該念高中，在聽歐西流行音樂。有文化上進心一點的，會每個星期等待《音樂一周》、《年青人周報》的出版，每個月拿�一份特大本的《號外》招搖過市並帶點自豪。當然，《電影雙周刊》間中也有不錯的文章吧。懶一點的，至少也會因為是教會學校的關係，每月翻一翻《突破》雜誌。勁band潮流本地創作開始興起，港產英雄片如日方中，隨時看過一部港產片或者新進填詞人的新作都可討論一大把。甚至會因為看多讀多興致勃勃的使然，嘗試一下投稿（今天投到哪？）。讀雜誌當然不錯，而且是主動而熱心的，不過他更喜愛的，可能是到伊利莎伯大廈其時還叫Greenpeace的i.t.前身買第一雙DR MARTENS。十年之後的九十年代，HMV和大型書店普及，大量外國雜誌引進，方便年輕讀者不斷吸納外國資訊，加上網絡開始普及，是海量的吸納期，但再沒有往日的評論價值觀點指引。一本雜誌不同一個網，它涉及到一種被推揚的價值觀，一種活力一種精神，那怕是玩世、左翼批判還是消費主義。今天，香港主流雜誌變得一模一樣了，面目模糊，取向相若。盡情發泄�煽動人心揭秘的自由，而真正意義上的人文精神刊物付諸炬如。今天一個15歲的香港孩子，肯每周期待《星期日明報》已經好好了?

內地文化刊物有生存空間

《誠品好讀》失守，台灣 讀書刊物的時尚化計劃失敗，PPAPER則要到中國大展拳腳，香港的文化刊物或帶一點人文色彩的民生雜誌空間全無，將出版的香港文化刊物《文化現場》，面對的是這樣一個沒人文色彩的雜誌處境。究竟是真的沒有空間，還是閱讀風氣真要轉型？說的未必是放棄閱讀文字，而是選擇的讀物也要改了。當一本本高質素、國際化、本土特色、專門興趣、批判立場鮮明的雜誌已一一呈現在書店，只要十個億的人口中有1%是喜愛這些偏圍興趣的讀者，這些刊物都可維持下去。

雜誌生存空間的長尾理論，大概就是指這個。而中國市場才有這樣的長尾。

如果我是一個15歲孩子的家長，我或者已不再害怕這孩子像十年前一樣沒太多選擇。我或者會每周陪他去尚書房或阿麥書房這些供應新鮮國內雜誌的書店（如果現在的15歲孩子還會和家長一起周末上街的話）。裏面是一個文化的花花世界。好吧，孩子對簡體字有點抗拒，看得不全明白，但你試問一下，有誰個香港人真是要學簡體字的？睇睇�就自然明。而且不幸地，相對起要孩子唸英文雜誌，這孩子可能起碼對簡體字沒那麼抗拒，對吧。

如果我是這家長，我真的會每周陪孩子去買這些雜誌，這樣，起碼可打發我們一個下午的時間，每本雜誌，平均二十元，買四、五本，消磨一個星期，買完吃碗紅豆冰，好過行商場被迫�買玩具或波鞋吧。如果我是那位家長，我引發這孩子買甚麼呢？我會買些自己都有興趣的雜誌吧。

雜誌人文精神超越香港

我會買POPULAR SCIENCE（《科技新時代》）和NEWTON（《科學世界》）的簡體中文版。雖然我知道宇宙黑洞、冰河溶化史和我們現身處的世界，好像沒大關係，但我真的相信，正如早前有論者提到：不懂牛頓第二定律，真的和沒看過莎士比亞的作品一樣無見識（而我們以前總是覺得後者一定比前者重要）。

我會買《華夏人文地理》這本和NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC內容合作的同類地理及生物知識雜誌，每期都會有一兩個國內記者自己做的大型中國專題。可能是尋找成吉思汗秘密陵墓。可能是每個省找來一家人，把家當都擺出來拍張照。

我們這一代和上一代，當然經歷過大陸雜誌如《人民畫報》的洗禮，從此認為大陸雜誌就是那回事，而今天，大陸雜誌在人文精神或城市發展的探討、外國資訊的整理修編方面，已然超過香港。如果覺得下一代無雜誌可讀，也變得無志向，你其實應該真真正正拿起這些雜誌好好認識一下。

《華夏人文地理》等地理類雜誌中，攝影鏡頭下的風景是獵奇同時也令人嚮往與幻想。VISION（《青年視覺》）等大

陸時尚類雜誌未必做得最潮最新，但它們卻非常花心機去收集世界正在發生什麼，作為一種潮流digest，它還是有其可讀性。VOGUE中文版時裝雜誌上如果涉及到外國fashion show的正常露乳照，都不用打上格仔。

地理科學時尚生活 應有盡有

《新周刊》質素有高有低，但提出的城市生活概念、城市榜、批判精神，沒有一份香港雜誌可比。《三聯生活周刊》的民生角度很中國定位，如果要從新認識中國，就從這裏開始。《生活》雜誌的簡約、大器，及最重要的對當今摩登中國人文精神、藝術傳承和圖片的關注，未見到有追近者。《萬象》、《讀書》和《書城》以文字為主，還是讓人看到當今中港台 的散文大家的示範（而且前兩本那種細開本的size真是切合隨身閱讀習慣的）。

《城市畫報》是kidult了一點，但起碼是70年代生那批人的真實健康聲音。近期最紅的《城市中國》，單看近期的香港深圳 選題，和最近的世界城市對比，就知道國內雜誌人的視野與關心點的不同。

大學生攝影師辦雜誌也不遜

當然，如果我是這15歲孩子的家長，我還會一個不在意的發現，並告訴他，一本叫RICE的類似初期CREAM的年青人雜誌，搞手只是一班大學生，跟他年齡差不多。還有攝影師233自己辦的攝影雜誌，一個人可以搞好。而看《SOHO小報》，一個建築集團又會搞好雜誌。如果這是個有上進心愛閱讀的孩子的話，20年後，面對可能真的再不讀書的再下一代，他也許會回憶在2008年香港的讀書風氣，他們是第一代在成長歷程中，大量看大陸雜誌的香港人。

文：李照興

ch.185 awkward perfection

had a wild nite out with the gang tonite. joy ride, crazy dancing, stupid singing, fun lovin actions.... just awesome!

went to clear water bay,chekced out the crazy $$$$$$$ homes, then went to silver strang bay and had red wine + siu mai + foggy nite + vodka lime + shrimp chips + crazy dancing + singing + drawing of my own icon on the sand + sitting on a tiny tiny tiny mat + umbrella + mosquitos...just all the awkward things.. but when they put togehter... it's perfect!

howard doing the side row x 3 + me n wil doign the sing and dance + me drawing on the sand.. it was just fun but awkward.

then we went on to the fay-or-shan and wen tot a one-way road. funny coz it was super foggy and so many many cars were acatully on the "shan"!

aynway, i wanna go to beijingsooo damn bad now.
shoot me.

n i m abit tipsy.

argh.. so wanna go to 798~~~~~!!!!! yay, i finally got my icon! i got my own thing! LOVELY!

ch.184 wine + cheese

芝士跟葡萄酒一樣，分有不同的產區、製造方法、原材料、質感及味道，要為每種芝士配上適合的葡萄酒，有一些基本原則可以跟從。芝士配葡萄酒的方法分別是：鹹配甜、酸性配酸性、Creamy配氣泡或丹寧、濃味配重果味或Full Bodied、淡味配淡味及同產地互相配合。

ch.183 family fellowship

started the first family fellowship wiht my aunt tonite. it was a gd time talking to her. but i m so tired now. duno why i m so tired today. fell asleep on the bus ride to aunt's place.

say la. will s+e get me the quote ga.. shit. i hv to think of plan b.

pray God to give me courage for ltos of things. for my own determination. my own goal. talk to dad. talk to pat. be brave at work. dear God, pls just work in me. i m all Yours.

my thougths r flowing. can't think coz too tired.

argh.

pray for tommy n his family for them to be safe and know about U.

ch.182 K at GZ

K at GZ with the GZ team. location was at where T lived. shit. i dun think i mstill over. haha. shit.

it was fun tonite doing things together with the GZ team.

but my dream is bigger.
i needa dream bigger.
bigger things in life.

God, pls give me persisitency and wisdom.

ch.181 drink, drank, drunk

my family can drink. omg.crazy. today'si smy 2nd uncle's 60th bday. we got so many bottles of red and white and everyone got high. even my "bill bak leung" could drink.. whom i've never thought that she could!!! so funny and amazing.. my family is so funny.

i love my grandma, she's totally cool and i just love her.

my dad, my uncles and aunts.. the odler i got, the more fun i hv with them. i m gonna miss them when i m gone back to heaven.

life is so short, gonna enjoy every moment of it. thank God for giving me life.

ch.180 「堅持」

世間別無其他事物可以取代堅持。

天資不能，沒有比有天分但失敗的人更加普遍了。
才華不能，有才華但無表現，幾乎成為諺語了。
教育不能，世界正充滿讀飽書的廢人。

只有堅持和決心才有無限威力，無所不能。「繼續努力」這口號已解決了人類不少問題，它將永遠成為我們解決問題的力量。

教育、才華、天分以為是解決問題的工具，原來不是。繼續努力，才是創造奇蹟的不二法門。

原因不外是害怕人言和訕笑，或因情緒及衝動，也有見異而思遷，以及貪新和戀多。
回首，始知放棄竟是這麼容易，用來和堅持不懈作比較，其他的途徑都是輕而易舉的。只有「繼續努力」要咬牙、揮汗、忍住痛地做下去。

是的，我要堅持下去。走神的路。

ch.179 「藝術」

「藝術」只是一個代名詞，它本身並沒有一個實体。

在現代藝術裡，「藝術」是一個動詞，它的定義隨著人的生活環境、思想模式、表達工具之change再不斷change。藝術某程度上只是個人生活的藝術性散發。所謂「好的藝術家」，是用自己的腦袋對生命作深度思考，用心地真切生活的人，use their experience 具體化呈現成為作品，與人分享。

人的生命質感取決於他的文化涵養。

創作是人類最痛苦的心智活動，創作最終面對的是自己，藝術家是能真實面對自己的人。


went to museum of art today. good time spent.

made lots of deciison these few days. gonna joing STM, worship team, get more sat. home gathering, education project with pat n jac., fam prayer session.

thx God for your guidiance.

CH.178 "Here I am"

Majesty (Here I Am)


Here I am, humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

ch.177 focus

self conscious about myself.
very.

had dinner with the sh ppl last nite. eddie said the part was half for jasmine and half for me. i thank him for that. i appreciate him thinks of me highly. i shd appreciate wht's happenign with me. not many ppl go the chance.

i wanan do so many things so many many. i wanna be able to do things like s+e, francis, ringo. to be gd at something. to be a generalist, like what eddie said, is hard to do in this world. but yes, he did accomplished his part and retired in his 30s.

i pray that i could go through more dear Lord. thx for the experience with T. it's great to hv gone thru it. wht else for me Lord? i m open for more!

ch.176 2 guys & 1 girl

dalton is back. wen tout wiht him n nelson tonite... what a combination. at first, it was awkward. Yes. it was. havn't been out/ seen them for ages and duno wht to say. so we drank. 1st roudn at Skitz, 1 glass of Guiness. then we went to another one for kilxxx, potato skins & wings.. pretty gd food n we all got relaxed abit.. n things became fun! as i said before, i like the tipsy feeling. everyone turned out to be more relax, n speak out more. i laughed alot. haha.. the same old me. really hvn't been out wiht them for years. then went to a "Sun Kwon Chiu chow food" on lockhart rd. the cold crab was sooo good. but damn, i thought it's 88, but it's acatully 880!! SHIT!
so damn expensive! but it's so gd to be a girl coz i dun hv to pay as much. hahaha.. i still paid but alot less. haha..

still abit tipsy now... good. liking it.

sleep better too.

ch.175 SZZZ trip

had a great time with the cheng's couple, jen and how.

SHG dinnner. had the "drunken shrimp". the bowl of shrimps were brought to our table alive and the waitress poured in the wine infront of us and got this timer to make suer the shrimps are drunk. My first bite was to bite the head off and damn, the tail of the shrimp were moving inside my mouth! the taste was only soso but it was fun.

After dinner, we walked walked walked around the city. checked out different clubs, baby face, baby k, finally settled at yuppies. i figured my alcohol acceptance has increased. wasn't feeling too tipsy after finishing up 1 chivas & 1 black label with the 5 of us. haha. got picked up by 2 jen-thought-they-were-gay-guys on the dance floor. danced on the stage with wil. had some crazy stupid games and suz was horrible, always got me drinking. then went off to carnival and had our ma-sa-ge! the masage girl was as gd as the one i had at gz but the overal procee was alrite and i think i fell asleep. we ended at 5am and then went to this "sleeping rooms" with individual capsule. it was like those japanese ones. pretty cool. then woke up at 10am and went to this nice chinese restaurant with good view next to a golf course for our dim sum brunch. the food was pretty good~ sure will go back again if i got time.

went back to hk afterwards and finally went to jen's home. smartie is such a big dog n the way he panted, i felt sorry for that big guy. i walked him for awhile and dun wanna do it anymore. the dog kept walking in zig-zag way and the more i looked at him, the more dizzy i got. n i figured.. i m liking cat more.

then got to wil's home n enjoyed the nice view out at his balcony and the OTO masage chair. o i love the leg part. it's great. n the chair is not too big and cheap comparatively. pretty nice.

n i finally had my 1st driving range today at cheung sha wan. wohoo~ i couldn't get the ball the first few.... many times and dun even know how to hold that pole. this sport really requires concentration and at the last 20 mins, i really concentrated and finally gotta hang of it and hit the ball out. the price for such is not expensive neither.. very economic sport.

n then went jogging after got back home. a rugby tournement was going on in the other field and when the team won, the guys went crazy. it was fun to watch them. i could felt the excitment with them. n i made me wanna joing a sport team.

what a busy day.

supposed to meet up with s+e but dun wanna... letz see we both forgot. argh. dun feel right.

ch.174 pk-ed

man, started the morning with a pk. wore my new pair of shoes and damn, slipped and did a one-leg-horse / press-leg after i closed the gate at the G/F. ppl saw. those ppl who worked at the bus stop saw me.
it was very hilarious but none of them laughed. it hurt too! damn and i was so embarrased. but it was super funny. ahhahaa

what a great day.

o, n i kinda yelled at eddie too, feel bad now.. *O*

o, n ariel is gonan work at eet. wht a small world. that's the only comment i hv.

ch.173 tired

so tired today.

day trip to gz is always tiring.

passion at work.. argh..

so tired...

Ch. 172 "have a nice life."

As phrased by dearest jen, i m such a "mo-Q-liu" girl. And being a "mo-Q-liu" gal, i did "mo-Q-liu" things. and found out there are lots of "mo-Q-liu" ppl out there. So, found that T felt that he "doesn't belong" again and apparently he and mr. H had some problems and somehow, their years of freindship ended. this is shocking to as i couldn't believe they are so stupid. i duno what happened, may be mr. H said somethign bad behind his back but somethigns, u just dun break it like that. A freind who supported and helped u for years, i got this 6th sense that T played a major part in this "arrogant-american" character that made things worse. His personalities of "i m always right" just couldn't work. I hope he and his wife could make it and his wife is supportive. I pray that he will behave and dun hurt his wife's heart. I pray that he himself could live a life that is filled with love and no more selfishness. I pray that someone could talkto him about God. i also pray for mr. H, that when he said that short sentence, i could feel his pain and anger and sadness. man... T is really losing it. i feel bad for them.

went to a seminar held by HKIM tonight with eddie. the speaker was quite good. I listened to him with 100% concentration. i think marketing is all about epxerience with common sense. after tonight, it really made me wanna go study marketing. i m really interested in it. Thank God fort his opportunity.

I m thankful for today. but still pray for T and his family and his situation. man, i really do hope them well.

ch.171 Humor, Playfulness, Hope & Optimism

美國著名心理學家馬丁. 沙尼文(Martin Seligman)所提倡的正向心理學中，論及快樂並非單純源自沒有病患或沒有遇上不愉快的事情，要享有精神健康，也非只著眼於不正常或有問題的地方，而是懂得發展個人的長處和價值(Strengths & Virtues)，建立正面的情緒、滿足感和人生意義。由此出發，假若我們懂得諒解和接受自己/他人的不足之處(Forgiveness & Mercy)，以幽默感和嬉笑的心情(Humor & Playfulness)看待人和事的輕快面，對未來常存一份希望和信念(Hope & Optimism)，那麼即使遇上逆境，也能縱容面對，享受箇中的經驗和結果。

i think i hv these and i thank God for giving me these.

thankful everyday.

ch.170 Anything Goes

What i did today...
1. church
speaker- dennis ng. my first impression was that, wow, wht a loud and emotional speaker! he's in his 40s and the way he preached made me feel like i m in a black church. haha.. he's alrite. telling us to focus on the lost. hey, i do pray for that but how to apply. i think he shd also talk about application. i thougth about francis and samuele when he talked about that. dear Lord, what shd i do? please teach me. i just keep praying for them.

2. Bible study
Read Mat ch.1 today. about the genealogy of jesus. at first, i was bored. didn't wanna read allt he naems but at the end, i found it more interesting. i was surprised that i acatully foudn it interesting. Who is who's father, why only 5 women were named, why included the gentiles and women and slave.. different names in luke but in the same line.. pretty interesting. Thanks pauline for her preparation.

3. Exercise
jogged again today at the Tai Hung East Field. It's great. Eventho i only jog for 15 mins, i felt gd already. exercising is great. i love it when i could feel my upper body moving. saw the "flying saucer" ppl again.. n i almost got hit by a soccer ball again today! it's great to live close over there.

4. Night out with the aunts and uncles
dinner at Hutchison House, the chiu chow restaurant. The food was alrite.. not THAT amazing. The bread with portguese sauce.. it was alirte... not that intriguing. anyway, the Show was better than i thought> Anything Goes< i duno how that related to the plot tho. haha.. but it's super funny to watch the fat gal doing tap dancing. haha.. christine sang welll but not too much singing tho. I shd get a hobby of mine n really do it. life is so much more than what i m seeing now. After the dinner, wentot patterson street for dessert via the "ding ding". felt great doing these things with the fam, n it's actually fun to hang iwth them. hanging with the older ppl r great. i love.

5. chatting online wiht Ms. C
funny to talk to her again. chagning job again, wht a surprise. haha. talking to her reminded me of T. she's part of that periof of memories. i m still letting go slowly...


O, aunt said that my life is very yuppie.ahha. really? n she said it'll be hard for me to get married if i continue to hv this life style. haha... argh. what i m doing is waht i like and i dun prefer to go out at nite for crazy drinks and k anymore, it's not worth the time n money and it's not that fun.

ch.169 layers

i jogged today. 9 laps, i think. it was pretty good.. when i jogged, i looked around me and looked up the sky.. n that made me felt more powerful and i just kept running and running. there was a tree at the field and today, lots of birds were on it and making loud voices. there r so many trees in the field but the birds only gathered at that one. it was pretty amazing. i taped it. The voices the birds were making were bizarrd. there was a lady doing her "hey gong" just next to the tree and the picture was like 2 ppl.. 1 = the lady , 1 = the tree.. standing together, doing their parts in the environement. thigns look bizarrd but everything harmonized. the branches of the n the birds were like the head of a person and then i thought, there r so many trees there n if each of them is a perosn, everyone of that got a special character and it's quite stunning. i taped over it, wiith the birds making noises and the trees, weird but harmonized.


as i ran, i figured.... life is just layers of layers of layers of different thigns. over the light pole, there's langham place, n when i turned to tan other angle, eventho it's the same thing, it looks different n we could start antoher layer from there. i m thinking.. that's life. life is about layers of layers. u borned as a blank piece of paper and as u live each day, layers have been added to your life. there's no gd and bad about it but things added up as layers. the layers are not 2-D only, when u turnto another angel, the thing that u thougth u percieved.. could turned out to be totally different. and when u look up , it's another picutre. we are living in this 3D world and there are so, so, so so so sososo many ways that u can view our world. When one layer is added, in your usual perception, it might be bad, but when u look up, it's soemthign that u dun expect and it's all good. The ppl that i met, especially meaning the sh crew, r they gd companians.. i duno. but i gotta see the few pages of the magazine that will be published soon and they are all so talented! meeting them are inspiraring. the little things that they let u know, it's eye opening already. i m so happy to see what s+e sent me today. i know he and francise worked so hard on the pic. it was his dream! the visual impact of the image was awesome! and francis did a great job on it! caught the moment and created the momentum of what is to be captured. luxury at war but maintained their luxurious character. AMAZING! go s+e! go cliff hanger! They are one of my layers and it's great to have this layer. Now i hv to see what to do with this layer.. or may be.. what's next.


i've moved to destination today. Timas helped and i m thankful. he's alrite. A person who got no baggages and dare to any changes. it was funny to see his face turning red after hving the green papaya salad. didn't know he couldn't eat spicy.

went ot the wine cellar today and talked to the lady boss. it was pretty cool. Bought an australian merlot and a french medoc. it was good. drinking the merlot right now and it tasted alot better when it's aried for an hour. o. i love the tipsy feeling.. seems like i could express more freely. i rmemebered s+e once said that too.. it's gd to be tipsy in life..

pat and jac went ot bkg today. it's great to hv them as my brother n sis in law. i love them and i want to hv a better relationship with jacquie. She's hving "snake" on her inner thigh and i'll pray for her.

man, it's so tough to be a Chrisitian.. Lord pls help me! i shd take all the action n concentrate on my work! Lord, u r treating me good, n i shd be grateful. :)

ch.168 getting back online

got francis to help fixed the computer for me.. n it was fixed by just pressing the on/off switch. ai.. woman... haha. it'sfunny how woman just got no clue with fixing things.

after fixing the comptuer, francis wanna check out my living environment and then when he was in my "ironing room", we saw a couple making out.. n we peeked. haha..

suddenly feel so mo loi in life.. i shd be hapyp with what i hv and enjo wht i hv. i feel stupid at times and i wanna spend my time more wisely. i wanna accomplish something.. i needa acommplish somethigns in my life..

i bought the painting tools from gz yesterday and yes i'll be starting the painting work. and i played with the keyboard for 3 songs.. 2 for T, 1 for s+e.

sometimes, just feel like.. what the hell m i doing here on earth? my days on earth.. i wanna make it more meaningful.

ch.167 blah

so tired today. didn't do much but just the mobile art at star ferry. it was qutie gd.

sigh. my days before 30.. i needa get more done. i guess i miss t becoz i was used to the days before. i really needa head up and find ways to enjoy my life.

argh.. pls help me Lord. the temptations are so crazy.. i dun wanna fall and i know fearign You is the best solution.

ch.166 2x2x2x798x12x290208

had 2 stella with the 2 for 2 hrs in the 2nd month in the afternoon n ate till 3pm.

hving major headche right now.. not gonna go out for drink or anything.. planned to stay home n sleep but ended up coudln't sleep n just finsihing my bailey haggandazzz...

finally saw pic of his kid n wife. F purposely said things infront of me n him. defintely. he defintely doesn't want anything to happened. definitely.

gald to see him again tho. beijing again? train? tibet? all are gd ideas. i wanan go. it's not about anything but i jsut wanna go.

as for work, after the MJ proposal.. which i basically did it on my own.. everyone is pleased with my work. everyone said i had improved. nice nice nice. i m enjoying it all these.. will hv thhe big presentation next tues.. crossing my fingers n practicing as well.

going to the chanel mobile art with my dearest bro n ar so tmmr. lam dog with them last nite n mr F. i think i've been seeing him too much.. i needa break from him. haha.. but he's alrite. complicated yet simple.. simple when he's with me but complicated when he's with s+e.

ch.165 working hard

working hard working hard workign hard working hard working hard.

consequences of working hard...
1 big eye, 1 small eye. super double eye lid.. amazing.
my left arm was soo tired when i was working off my ppt tonite at 8pm.
super dirty hair. hahaha
weight lost (YES!)

tired...

ch.164 post-cny@ gz

today was the first day local chinamen coming back to GZ to work. i m fortunate enough to witness such "movement" at the GZ East station. i arrived at GZ today at 120pm and the station was packed. Another train from inner china arrived and ppl with cases are also walking out from their exit. Lots of ppl but the crowd was not in a chaos but discipline was shown. It was qutie amazing as i was fighting my way towards the taxi stand, i expected to have at least took me 5 minutes to pass the crowd and some bumping. however, nothing happened and i was at the taxi stand in a smooth 3 minutes walk. may be it was my awesome running around skill but yah, it wasn't too much of a hastle at all. Waited for awhile at the taxi stand and things were in line and not too much a chaos as reported on the news.

I finally had time to think n write down my plan for gz office and my mind map during my way to GZ. i also talked to Bec about my ideas and how she could help and share our comments and expectation for the GZ office. this trip was better than those before as i m finally taking control and the initative for the managment role. Sharing ideas with passion with my fellow workers felt great. The briefing session was alrite but i must win. No way to lose and i'll put 100% effort on this pitching. The other two agencies were not 4As but both seem smart. I hope our previous meeting with Calvin would helped us to work out our ideas better. However, the execution plan must also be well planned as lack of labour is our disadvantages at this stage.

Reading that book is also one surprise of the day as i have already finished 3 chapters and i m so attracted to the content that i think i'll finish it fast. Good that i m finishing a book that fast. ha. this feeling reminded me of my primary school years in hk as i remmeber i could finished a book in 3 days. Thx to my mom. i shd pick up this habit asap.

Will be meeting the FPers this wednesday night. A reunion! i feel like i shd go cut my hair n go run before the gathering. haven't seen them for ages and i will certainly enjoyed the night with the guys and ladies.

ch.163 sunday dinner

Chez Jan - Sunday dinner

Fresh lettuce with tuna in japenese saseme salad dressing
Braised chicken with shark's bone, abalone and sea snail
Cheese bun x 1
Red grapes
Bailey flavour, Haggan-dazz
Melot, Yellow tail (this wasn't that good)

soo good. :)

ch.162 The 2 C9s @ the lounge

had a fun night with francis last night. had good jap curry rice, i was suddenly very fond of that, duno y. but it was great.

so went to the lounge at langham afterwards, those 2 are still there singing and playing. however, didn't pay too much attention to them tho.

jen n how joined as well and i'd love them to meet francis coz it's great to mix friends up.

so F n I were just hanging, talking, laughing and drinking. the 2 reds that we ordered were great,esp. the second one. it was a shiraz from australia, got very strong taste and smooth. how said the oak taste was pretty strong, but i can't taste that. haha. anyway, started talking about boiling soup, it was funny to talk to him as we r getting serious. haha. and that guy can cook. ishd serisouly consider to buy a electric plate to cook soup. haha..

anyway, it was a nice night. fun and light. tipsy and lots of laughters.

ch.161 pre-vday

when it comes to vday, i always remember T as we had our first date on vday and started 5 days later.
i enjoyed it alot coz it was very romantic and i was claimed to be the romantic type.
but i guess start so fast w/o knowing too well.. not a gd start.

talkign to S+E now, HE IS FULFILLING HIS DREAM AS A CD FOR A MAG. wht is my dream? how do i fulfill it.
talked to ASA, he's one inspiration for me, n i'll work hard on my gz opportunity. ppl dun get it often and asa said it's harder to get chances like that when we get older.

argh..
wht the hell m i doing. flirting non stop with s+e about vday. sigh. why. pray pray pray. gd that he won't be here tmmr, back to sh. go go go go go. pls go.

Ch.160 chet, pls dun dance

$420.
Star Hall, Kln Bay.
cold cold night.
chet dancing. pls dun confuse yourself with dancing queen, coz u r defintiely not one. just dun dance and sing. also, fast songs are not good for u. simply not you. just forget it.
not enuf slow songs. how come didn't say "paris in your eyes"? I love that song! argh!
kay tse singing "mut kit gwor"... soooo gd. man, that's like my theme song for now.

i m fallin.. soup.. ya... soup is good.. come n hv some soup. come and we'll... hv soup.

ch.159 back from CNY

got the computer back from my lovely bro.

cny holiday, the four days long wknd, is finally finished. will be heading to work tmmr. had a full pack family wknd. it was alrite. spent the first 2 days with the whole fam, n then dad, grandma n last with my bro. it's cool. i enjyoed it. spending time with family si something that i wanted and so i decided to hang with them instead wth my friends. but i did went hiking n cooked lo bak go with mir. ha.

my family is a funny bunch. can't live with them but can't live without them (hmm.. ) love /hate situation.. i wonder if it's the same to other family. we have our problemsss. and it's not funny and simple but we still sit together for a family meal every sunday. everyone is so different, all hv outstanding personalities that will make a great drama. yet, i guess life is a drama afterall and i m not named drama queen for no reason. ha. anyway, it's amazing to be part of this family. they all love me dearly, i love them dearly too but hate is also part of the formulation between us. agh. life is getting shorter n we r getting older and things r getting more complicated. i m glad me n my bro r still very cool with each other. we care and we r frank with each other. nothing beats that. i'd do anyhting for my bro and now for my sis-in-law as well.

oh, n i found that i m a real gd listener. lots of ppl need to hv someone to listen to, n i love to be that person. i just love to listen n help the ppl to release themselve n be a better person. doi fell in love wiht them, not really. someone asked if i would fell in love iwht someone that is so out of my idea mate, both in appearance and personalty, but share the same value. i said if we hv the 'feeling", sure, why not. it's funny to hv asked a question liek that.. now i dun wanna think too much about that person who asked me.

anyway, it's time to sleep. dun wanna be late tmmr. gosh. n i m enjoying my life. o, someone also mentioned that i m enjoying my life... n that i agreed. God is gd to me.

ch.158 work work work

work work work... i think i've spent less time on FB these days. haha. stopped procrastinating on FB but doing actual work.

how nice to work hard. workin hard to earn measurable money is great. however, if the money and workload is not balance n the company can't promise me anything or just promise me on things that i can't really see. hmm.. may be i shd start thinking for myself more and go look for another challenge. What to do god? pls guide me. I needa find my way out on this. Or keep me content with my work.

going to GZ tmmr again taking the train at 730am. gosh. gd experience that i can brag about later on in life. hopefully will have no trouble at GZ tmmr as the train stations will packed with people who couldn't go home due to the terrible weather. ppl in MJ seems to like working with me. i m gd at my job!

can't communicate with lots of ppl lately. love to communicate withe doc sam tho. haha. and patrick seem to be a better person these days. God is helping me with my work for sure as i pray more, the better i m. but i m gonna seek for direction from him for my career. pls let me know where and what to do. i m definitely on Your call.

shanghai sounds like a gd idea. but will there be any opportunity at all? going to sh doesn't mean throwing myself into the fire... eventho s+e is there and i'd love to spend time with him. haha. he'd be a cool frd and i do hv frds at sh now and all of them are offering places for me to stay! man, i m doing pretty gd as a person, i guess. haha. cheers!

Ch.157 waiting

waiting to go off work.... can't believe the ppl booked dai bin lo at 9pm!! MY GOSH! gum gar....
hungry.
...
...

gotta pray for doc sam's dad. He got serious duodenum problems and hv to be hospitalized now.

HKEJ... s+e got this awesome chance to work as a CD as the fashion journal. so happy for him! duno y. just very very happy for him wor. haha.

sor lor fan shu called and asked me to tell him places to eat at cwb.. lolz..

it's very fun to talk to these 2.

ch.156 good food

went to hv dinner with elaine and angie tonite at a shanghai restaurant. O.. super gd food. i have always love sh food and we had just the right proportion and what a great night to enjoy good food. I m a easily content person. I m happy when i have good food.

the stock market dropped alot today and most likely will drop more later. talked to s+e about that and that guy is against ppl who buy stock with the purpose of gaining easy money. i agree with his theory gair. haha. anyway, yes, still talking to him and i have never initiated any conversation la.. always him. may be, may be will go to tibet together. duno. well, francis is interesting to go as well. have spent so much money lately and i need to stop spedning so much. stop eating out and start cooking. Elaine had given me some easy to cook receipes today. i will start cooking on my own.. real food as in just water boiled brocoli. haha.

goign to gz tmmr and i m getting my passion back. really wanna make things work out and i will try my best to do so. gotta pray for wisdom and courage and persisitency for this decision.

started jogging last wknd and i love the feeling afterwards. feel very good after sweating.

i think i have reallly let go of the past relationship now. things arenew and i m lookin forward for all the great challenges. i m so glad i got good frds. jovi is really a cool bro. haha.

ch.155 88

88 to high hand. dun wanna waste time on bad guy.

ch.154 Post-BJ

BJ was good. very cold but i love it. love walking in the cold with the feeling of being in a dream. my eye sights were blurry and the things infront of me were unreal. ancient temple in the down town area, next to the newly built national theatre. taxi driver talking about culture value and standing next to a 10 times bigger sculputre head. having lamb hot pot with s+e and walking in the cold with him. unreal.

interesting guy, we r interested in each other for sure but i like him more than he likes me. life is funny. why m i always involved in complicated relationships? i m just thinking too much acatully.

Tommy is back to the states, hving his new life. and i hv pretty much moved on. being single is good for my career. i shd lolic and work hard for my gz opportunity and hopefully, cross my finger, gotta work in shanghai.

talking to edwin was nice. he's a very interesting old man. fully confidence, powerful and ppl r scared of him eventho he has a great personality. spening his time in france hving his own wine bar and enjoying his life.

watched quite alot of movies these days, love "the blueberry night". watched "the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" again and finally felt the story and love it. "reign over me" was a surprise, didn't expect adam sandler to be such a gd actor. the story was moving too, "can't they see the guy was just heart broken?".. argh.. love is a funny thing, it can torture you and make you happy in a change of 1 sec.

read quite some bks as well. Just finsiehd "The present" tonight, looking forward to finish "The accidental masterpiece" and "Jackie pullinger". Nicely content and make me think alot more. Reading is definitely something that i'll keep up. Have missed too much when i was with T. i'll learn from the Past and enjoy the Present and create my Future. :) I'll start the book club with jen. love to share thinking with frds.

had a great dinner with doc. sam tonight. enjoy his presence alot. very comfortable talking to him. too bad i'll be moving to destination soon.. will miss him.

ch.153 cycle

a family cycle? GAH.

i like the feeling.

ch.152 luvin' blueberry

watched the movie with how last night. missed the beginning of the movie but man, i enjoyed the movie so much. i was so into the movie. the slow motion showing the reaction of the actors, the director really got it. wht i experienced made me fell in love with the movie. watching it with how was gd too, we both understand the story so well coz our experience definitely helped. sigh.

how do ppl remember me? jude remember nora as a gal who loves the blueberry pie... i wonder how would he remember me as? yes, it's abit cheesy but i fell for that. ha.

talked to my boss about Christianity again today. learning how to praise in bad times is really hard.

i figured i got a lot of opportunities to talk to ppl about God these days. it's amazing. God listen to prayer.

ch.151 i need prayers

hmm.. just found out things about s+e.

had a great talk with francis tho. talked to him about his 1st love and their re-match. haha. it was cool. gotta be closer with him. haha. feel gd talking to him. coz he's a nice guy. nice and simple.

argh.. y m i always drawn to bad guys. o gosh. i dun wanna repeat fyn's style.

ch.150 1st day of 08

drunk, taxi home and dun remmeber wht time it was. puked on the taxi and i am so not gonna do this again.

woke up by dad's call (shd be me calling him .. aiya.. ) and then had lunch with grandma and chris chris at royal garden. It was good. Chris told me how to cook pasta, his tips from learning from chef of sabatini. very nice. I'll try that. then walked around tst with grandma. love hanging out with her. she's the best. i m gald she could walk for so long as well, next time i'll bring her to have chai chan tang's milk tea and bubble tea. she's so cool.

arrived at statue square at around 6pm. it was my first time to stay there for so long.. usually just pass by that place in a rush. today it looks great, with all the lights on (those on thebuidlings) and then sitting down and looking up, it was magnificent. the worship lead by EEC worship team was great. worship is something that i need to bring more friends to, must share this experience with them.

wasn't too happy these days, when i sang "you give and take away, u give and take away, my heart is to say, blessed be your name" yes lord, u give and take away, w/ reasons that i dun understand. i m learning to praise you thru the give n take. praise u thru gd and bad. this is wht i need to do from 08 and tell my frds about it.

blessed to be able togo back to grandma's place for dinner. it was just instant noodles with left overs but the love was more than anything. watched the tvb drama with her was fun.

found that my eye sight became not clear after leaving grandma's home. everythign all of a sudden became fussier. hmm.. i'll go see an eye doc later for professional consultation.

called mom earlier today, but only left a msg. shd call her again later.

o, n i got a new GATE!! nice job! :)